Today I had a work call with a colleague who has been mentoring me for a few months now (nothing serious, just someone to ask now and then if I need advice). Around half way through this call, once they had answered my original question, out of the blue and unprompted they asked “wasp, have you considered that you might be neurodivergent?”
From the short conversation I then had, they have noticed that I hyperfocus, I can’t organise for shit, I regularly stop mid sentence and change the subject, and that I bounce between trains of thought rapidly which makes it hard for people to keep up. I was a bit surprised as I don’t work particularly closely with this colleague and while I’m aware that I do these things they have never really been mentioned before, and certainly not attributed to anything other than me being a bit overenthusiastic.
I won’t delve too deeply here, but today has certainly been a day of self reflection. Regardless of whether I am or am not neurodivergent, I have always felt able to pass as neurotypical and today has been the first time I have had anyone question this. Suddenly I’m thinking that maybe I should be taking the possibility of me having ADHD a lot more seriously. The penny has finally dropped that I need to get this checked out.
Any advice on what I should do next? I’ve booked in to see my doctor, but what would you all recommend to a potential ADHD newcomer?
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Medication really made a huge difference in my quality of performance in life. No more embarrassement about being unable to help dozing off in meetings and looking like a fool. I’ve microslept at the wheel several times before and medications completely eliminated that. It’s the only way I’d reasonably trust myself to do long outstation drives.
Although, I do have a story about the first small road trip I did with my partner after being prescribed. 3h drive both ways, and both times I only remembered that I was supposed to take my medication (on an empty stomach) halfway into my meals. I still made the drive with support, but it was a lot tougher than it needed to be, lol.
I make a lot of jokes about medication since I take it now but I do have an underlying fear of developing substance addictions, so I’d like to look into psychotherapy to develop even more unmedicated life management skills when I can afford it.
Gosh, I can relate with the depression though. I think struggling with symptoms of ADHD pushed me into depression. I used to have outbursts and crying meltdowns as a teenager, but it stopped when I went into university and met supportive friends. But my mood cycles and occasionally I can get very fixated on negative thoughts that will just drain me and ruin my day. Been considering medication, talked to my psychiatrist (who also has ADHD and understands) about it, but haven’t started yet.
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I’m sorry to hear about a lot of this. There are other things going on in the background, yes (who doesn’t have baggage, right?). All I can say is long term therapy does wonders and fortunately I’m in the best place that I’ve ever been in.
I’ll have the conversation with my GP, but at the moment I don’t think I want to be on medication if I can avoid it. I’ve just shaken the SSRIs and I’m not super keen for any more weird side effects!