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Yee. “Everyone is a bit autistic” and “autism is an infinite spectrum” really piss me off. Like, I have real symptoms. Trichotillomania and auditory meltdowns and hyperfocus are real things I deal with, people.
In the end, if you don’t share (some or more) symptoms, you don’t share a diagnosis— medical or mental. Autism needs to be understood so autistic people can get support and tools. If that means we need more-specific words than just “autism”, then that’s just how it is.
I think getting rid of the Aspergers label was a big mistake on that part. Yeah he was a nazi eugenicist, blah blah blah, but having a label that both differentiates “people who seem like weird fuckups but are otherwise kind of normal?” from “people who have significant disabilities preventing a normal life” and is widely known was a useful shorthand to have.
Plus “aspie” is a much cuter term than “autist” that hasn’t to my knowledge been used as a slur.
“people who seem like weird fuckups but are otherwise kind of normal?” from “people who have significant disabilities preventing a normal life”
A pretty big issue with this is that the environment has a pretty large capacity to throw you into one category or the other. I’ve been both at the “bright person who exceels in their field and anyone would expect them to have a great future” and “needs someone to look after them on a daily basis or will end up homeless” camps and the difference to get into one or the other was how much abuse and discrimination I was putting up with. It may very well be the case that a significant portion of the people who get labeled as “non-verbal, requires high support” early on in life just had a shit development because their environmental needs weren’t being met.
That is a concern, but it’s still true that you operating at your best will look very different to someone whose autism comes with intellectual delays/impairments and mobility impairments. And the diagnosis is still graded in “levels”, all that has changed is now you have to explain “level one is what they used to call aspergers”.
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On the other hand, moving to ‘levels’ offers the regular opportunity for a dad joke: “I’m autism level 1, hoping to level up to 2 any day now”
Way too relatable. I’m very hesitant to tell people about my ASD exactly because even if they do believe at me, they always start acting different afterwards. Not even necessarily infantalisation, just different.
I’m just lucky to be high-funtioning enough that I can pass off my social ineptitude as a result of being highly introverted (which is half true), and my tics aren’t very noticible to those who don’t know me very well.
Instead of “I’m autistic” say “I was diagnosed with autism”.
These days there’s no shortage of self-diagnosed, no professional opinion needed, thank you very much youngsters walking around and behaving like world owes them a thing, just because they neither do, nor want to fit into the society. This makes neurotypical people doubtful about declarations like that.
I fully understand wanting to avoid self-diagnoses for attention seeking or blame avoiding purposes, but I tend to lean towards believing people first.
One, because there is always going to be a discrepancy between the population of the accurately diagnosed and people who have a condition, because of poor access to mental health, because of the stigma attached with seeking help for and admitting to having a disorder, cultural differences in diagnoses and because there are poorly trained mental health professionals.
And two, because rejecting people outright when they share what may or may not be a serious problem they’re facing puts them on the defensive and tells people in the vicinity that you may not be a safe person or contribute to a safe place to express themselves.
The average person is going to be doubtful anyways, unless you fit into their understanding of your expressed condition. How many times have we heard “how could he kill himself, he seemed so happy?”
I didn’t get my audhd dx until i was 28 but i feel like i always knew, and i think my life might’ve been sightly less miserable in general if id just allowed myself to accept a self-diagnosis. the attitude of “you just want to be special” seriously fucked me up lmfao.
It’s just some gatekeeping bullshit.
In the worst case, they want to kick anyone they don’t like to keep their identity pure and clean (newsflash: any group that extends to 1% of the population is going to include people you don’t like).
In the best case, they think that any official institution is going to dedicate significant resources to support someone without an official diagnosis, the kind of tactics that the far right uses all the time to make one minority fight against another.
Completely agree with this. Also, as this meme suggests, most people who are autistic don’t really need to say it out loud for people who know what autism is to know they have it. You don’t need a diagnosis to exhibit behaviors that are obvious to everyone else around you. A diagnosis doesn’t suddenly make you something you weren’t already.
It takes a strong support system to accept and embrace that their child is autistic and a firm commitment for the entire rest of their childhood to doing whats best for the within that context. The amount of parents who simply outright reject that “something might be wrong” with their kid is extremely high, even now. That doesn’t make the kid any less autistic because they haven’t been diagnosed, and it doesn’t make their symptoms any less obvious either.
Yes, hopefully people can get diagnosed, and hopefully your city has adequate resources to help them, and hopefully the parents aren’t jerks, and hopefully the place you live isn’t full of conspiracy theorists and crackpot religious leaders who think just praying for the kid is good enough. Hopefully. But if not, you just might have an undiagnosed autistic teenager who’s life is spinning out of control and the last thing they need is some internet expert’s dumb ass telling them there is nothing wrong because they didn’t get the magical diagnosis. Speaking from experience.
The average person is going to be doubtful anyways
Try it anyway.
Your argument is that self-diagnosis causes the average person to be doubtful of expressed diagnoses. Mine is that it’s not self-diagnosis, it’s expression outside of what the average person understands a condition to be that has them doubting.
And yes, I have been diagnosed and then been told that the diagnosis was wrong because I don’t “fit” what people think. So, yeah, I have tried, and that’s why I’m making the argument I am, because that’s what happened. If your experience has been better…great? Maybe you fit the mold better than I do.
Your argument is that self-diagnosis causes the average person to be doubtful of expressed diagnoses
It isn’t.
My argument is that official diagnosis validates the claim and adds to its gravity.
I agree with you on that point.
So let all people who cannot afford a diagnosis go fuck themselves, right?
nor want to fit into the society
The more power to them. This society is disgusting, and it’s people who want society to evolve according to their values the ones who change it for the better, not the ones who go through life bowing their head to injustices.
So let all people who cannot afford a diagnosis go fuck themselves, right?
That’s very peculiar, and very angry approach, entirely uncalled for. And the answer is: no.
This society is disgusting,
The society is the cruelest thing at its worst and the most beautiful at its best. It’s also very fragile and it tends to protect itself against every chaotic element that tries to enter it.
If you dislike the society that much, you’re free to resign from everything it has to offer and move where it cannot reach you. If you don’t want, or can’t then it’s advisable to study its ways, so that you won’t feel threatened by it.
move where it cannot reach you.
I wasn’t going to get involved, but you’ve touched on my special interest. My question: Where, exactly, would that be? There is no extrinsic margin any more. Hasn’t been in North America for over a century, and the rest of the world for at least half a millennium. (And even America’s margin came at the expense of people who were already living there.)
Where, exactly, would that be?
It depends very much on your precise location.
As a real-world example: My brother in law moved to a very small, dull place some hour of travel away from the nearest city. There are houses there, but they are few and far between. He and his wife interact with less than 5 persons per week. Their life consists of taking care of their household and remote jobs that involve very little human interaction. He recently taught himself a bit about woodworking and he becomes very good at that every day.
The gist of it is that people imagine some icy peak of some unreachable mountain as the place they should select for their refugee, solace from the society. This is entirely wrong way of thinking. All you need is to search for a place with as little people as possible. And these aren’t as scarce as one could think.
There’s also no shortage of people who have been on waiting lists for years for a diagnosis.
Mine took almost 4 years between referral and assessment. Two of my friends have been waiting two and four years respectively when both were told the list was “about 18 months long”, with medical professionals asking the latter if they’re sure they want to keep waiting, trying to get them to come off the list. And this is an area that has shorter wait times than average for the country.
When you’re dealing with that kind of scarcity of diagnosis it’s not reasonable to dismiss anyone who has self-identified out of hand. Of course there are and have always been pretenders and misguided teens who want to feel special, but I also wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out that a lot of those are some kind of neurodivergent and that desire to feel special is born of trying to find a “right fit” in a world that feels wrong.
it’s not reasonable to dismiss anyone who has self-identified out of hand
The mankind operates according to its own laws, and they aren’t always intuitive, fair, or compassionate.
I say “I’m autistic” at least 40% specifically to avoid people like you and weird gatekeeping crap, despite having been diagnosed for a long time.
You will never be “one of the good ones” and trying to force yourself to fit a mould, and shitting on other people who are less amenable/able to going through the entire structure, in a hostile and repressive and cruel society will not make them treat you better or provide accommodations more. <.<
I’m not getting into all the other issues with shitting on self diagnosis around class and accessibility and discrimination (direct or intersectional, e.g. trying to strip trans rights from autistic trans people, where diagnosis is actually dangerous, and people choose to avoid it if they have the option to do so even if they seriously struggle with negative aspects of being autistic) and hyperpathologisation and accusing people of being FaKErS because they aren’t sufficiently miserable/self-loathing/self-hating or don’t post their negative moments/experiences online. Autistic people are allowed to be happy and express it publically.
Honestly just sick and tired of seeing this shit in every single space I want to be part of, and pissed off ;p. I hoped this shit died when we collectively told Autism Speaks to fuck off, but apparently that was way too goddamn optimistic.
Note I’m not sure if this comment replied to who I intended it to but its showing up on another comment that fits soooo.
I say “I’m autistic” at least 40% specifically to avoid people like you
You don’t know me.
And since you’re quick to judge, all I can say is “thank heavens”.
For those that did not get a diagnosis as a kid, self-diagnosing is how they begin to discover that component about themselves (I’m newly there right now in my 30’s, parent present in my life didn’t even know what autism was until the 2010’s, I am going to be seeking a professional diagnosis), so I would be mindful that some of the self-diagnoses may be telling the truth and it’s not all fad joiners/charlatans/attention seekers
To your credit, fakers probably would be somewhat obvious, but I don’t have real life experience with a fake autist, mostly the opposite, autists thinking they’re NT.
💀
Fakers aren’t obvious at all unfortunately.
Most people have no clue what autism actually looks like, and the most exposure they have to autism are autism-coded characters like Sheldon Cooper and Sterling Archer. In other words, characters who are self absorbed and asshole-y for comedic effect. To them, fakers can definitely seem on-brand.
And those that do have actual exposure to autism usually fare no better, because autism is a very wide spectrum, and some symptoms and issues, to the untrained eye, look no different from simple assholeism. What looks like a simple unprovoked tantrum could infact be an autistic person lashing out in frustration because they don’t know how to properly communicate something.
Shut The Fuck Up Boomer
Ok, kid.
Jesus Christ on a pogo stick this is spot on,and here’s why. My youngest is autistic. Like, he’s on SSI he’s so autistic. The government pays us a lot of money and covers his healthcare because otherwise they’d have to pay someone else more.
But every time I post something about him being autistic. Inevitably, someone comments about how “it’ll get better. Because they are autistic and it’s barely a hindrance to them. They are now just shy around people”.
These people act like autism isn’t a spectrum, and some people aren’t way worse than others. Once I explained that my child’s doctor even said that “He would probably never be able to live on his own”. These people told me to get him another doctor.
He already goes to the most sought after behavioral specialist in my city. A city that is built around a world class hospital, and connected college. Anyone that does that can go fuck themselves with a burning log of dog shit.
People that say “I’m autistic”. I automatically assume you are self diagnosed. Maybe start with. “I was diagnosed with autism”.
You’re focusing on yourself.
I wasn’t talking about yourself.
What? I was agreeing with you. Then I gave personal experience examples to show why I agree with you.
I’m not treating it as a combat.
I didn’t focus on you. No personal experience should be used in discussions concerning general advisory.
You are literally not making any sense. I agreed with your statement. Then I gave a personal account of why I agreed with your statement.
There is no combat. Because for there to be combat. There would have to be a disagreement. There was no disagreement.
Are you ESL?
It’s like if someone said that a lake “didn’t have big fish in it.”
Then you say “the lake does have big fish”
Then I come along and say “the lake does have big fish. I know because I’ve caught one.”
It’s the exact same thing.
You are literally not making any sense.
You’re free to pay no attention anymore.
I’m just curious. Why shit on someone that was agreeing with you?
No. I am autistic, I wasn’t diagnosed with a disease. There’s a difference!
“You don’t seem autistic to me”
Never sure if people are trying to offer a compliment / comfort or accusing me of lying when they say this. Like, yes, I don’t seem autistic, because when I don’t mask my autism people call me weird. Of course I try to fit in.
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For educational purposes what is a more expected/desired response from a nuerotypical person?
“Oh cool! Are there any particular triggers we should know about, like loud noise?”
Autism and its effects can differ greatly from person to person, such that the ‘rules’ for dealing with one person might not apply to another.
In the context of revealing your autism, many will not do so simply out of hand because of insert response from OP’s post. Usually the only reasons many high functioning autists will even reveal it to someone they do not trust is because they either have to (eg: there is the potential for the presence of a meltdown trigger, reasonable accommodation requests at work) or they’re relating to someone with their own disabilities.
“oh, okay.” is generally a good bet, then if the person wants to they can expand on any special needs they have.
Like if someone’s physically disabled you’d be rude to make a big deal out of it, you just acknowledge that it is what it is and try to accommodate for it.
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I make autism sexy*
* terms and conditions apply
Reads username
Huuuuuh.
It’s a British accent.
Do the terms and conditions apply /j
Void where prohibited.
Something something your void.
That’s what happens when you put so much effort into masking
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Frankly being hot seems to be a predictor for autism, i presume because e.g. routine workouts is a significant part of attractiveness and ooh did you say routine?
I dunno about that. Most ND people are usually pretty chubby.
You need another pair where they don’t give a shit, because guess what?
This is the most relatable meme of all time
I have a cousin with autism, he’s in his late 50s and has needed adult supervision his entire life. His parents both just passed and his younger brother now takes care of him. He works buts its the special stuff, bagging groceries, filling nails into boxes, tearing movie tickets. Even had a bit of a savant power with being able to recall the day of the week any particular date was. One Thanksgiving he broke into my grandparents minivan and ate 3 full pies before anyone noticed. They were locked in the van because the previous year he stole them off the counter one by one.
I dated a girl recently that announced she had autism and would just use it as an excuse for her bad behavior. I understand the spectrum and the varying degrees it expresses but she really aggravated me everytime she said it.
I’d just say “hi autistic I’m EuroNutellaMan/dad/Obamacare/some other variation”.
What does that make me?
Dad. Now did you ever get those cigarettes?
No Jimmy, I don’t smoke
