Y’all ever watched that Japanese video where they explained how fast Santa would have to travel to deliver all the presents in time which would cause a sonic boom and end the world?
(Apparently the video is private now. All I can show you is the translated version from a HK YouTuber: https://youtu.be/CTIcG5geYTI)
Well, he has magic, explain that liberals!
Well the best explanation is many Santas. You’d think they would divide it up by region, each taking different Xmas celebrating regions. But they actually divide it up by socioeconomic class. So your children’s gifts really depend on how much your parents paid into the ‘Santa Tax’.
Dividing by region doesn’t make much sense. At least longitudinally it doesn’t make sense. Santa starts delivering presents at night, so you would have several Santas on standby until it’s nighttime in their region. If they all work together starting in the earliest timezone, they can divide the houses to deliver to and better stay ahead of their dawn deadline around the world.
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We are all doomed
Your kids aren’t going to want to hear this, but Santa is AI Generated.
I fucking knew it. I asked him for a skateboard when I was little and he got me this skinny piece of crap that wouldn’t even roll down the driveway, he couldn’t even get a basic gift right.
I asked for a hooker, and she had 16 fingers!
Ah, remember when Trump called a kid marginal for believing in Santa?
