“Religion has actually convinced people… that there’s an invisible man… living in the sky… who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of TEN THINGS HE DOES NOT WANT YOU TO DO. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!
…But He loves you."
-George Carlin
And he needs money!
All knowing, all powerful, all wise… JUST CAN’T HANDLE MONEY!
Carlin didn’t do this one, but I always liked the joke about the three religious leaders talking about how they’re going to divide up their collection money and one of them says “I just throw it all up into the air. Whatever God catches, he can keep.”
Thank you, Steve Gutenberg.
Everyone takes offense to Fisher Stevens’ offensive brownface act.
I take offense to the suggestion that such a shitty joke can be used to guage self awareness.
To be fair, the (Christian) Bible doesn’t say you have to love God, only to ask forgiveness. Like you can be the biggest piece of shit on Earth, but if you apologize to God on your deathbed, it’s cool.
“Love your God with all your heart” is in both the Old Testament and then extra emphasis is again put on it in the New Testament as “the first and greatest commandment.”
Though the whole thing is ridiculous, and the topic reminds me of the litmus test Solomon put forward to determine who was a true parent and who was a false claimant.
The false parent in the Solomon story was the one who only cared about being recognized as the parent, even if that meant the child suffering as a result.
The true parent was the one who cared more about the child continuing to live as their complete unadulterated self, even if that meant never being known to the child at all.
And yet the tradition after that tale and then the surviving version of Christianity both claim to represent a divine parent that cares most about recognition even if it means its supposed children suffering to achieve that.
So no, the Bible explicitly does command readers to love God, but it does so on top of a layer of something radically different peeking through underneath.
Only if there’s a priest there to hear it! 👆
Jesus died so we don’t need priests anymore 😊
Love that the creator of the universe is so fucking proud that it has to hurt itself in some weird masochistic ritual rather than admit that the creation wasn’t perfect.
Martin Luther has this one weird trick to get forgiveness from God, and the Catholic church hates him!
What a system, it encourages bad behaviour and gives you an easy solution out? That’s why it’s fucked.
“Ask for” is a low bar, “geuinely be sorry” isnt, i think most cristians repent for big stuff in the same way they would to the negbor for running over his cat.
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What god?
Zeus always was a jerk!
The best part of polytheistic religions is how relatable the gods are. One is a jerk, another the unloved child. Dad sleeps around, and Mom is either super forgiving, or runs Hell.
A major one
Oh…
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No. It’s because Christians are programmed from infancy to believe stupid things.
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In nicer words, yes. So many have lied in gods name and his book requires framing of some shape or form to get any meaning out. Even if that framing’s just “it’s some stories people wrote”. Problem is poisoned framings.
Some would protest that hell isn’t really talked about in the Bible. But it sure is on every single page of the Koran.
It’s mentioned quite a few times in psalms and proverbs, and Isaiah. And in Job and 2 Samuel, and deuteronomy.
Also, Jesus described what modern Christian’s consider hell. ‘Cast them into a furnace of fire; there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth’
True, but the main imagery that we as modern westerners have of “hell” is mostly from Dante’s Inferno.
https://scholarworks.uno.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=3106&context=td
Thanks for that info! I don’t know the Bible well enough. Is that mostly Old Testament? Obvs. not the Jesus part.
Yes it is all Old Testament.
Ah yes, the Old Testament. The book where if you did one thing God didn’t like, you were eternally damned with no redemption.
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Heh, you can say so. I actually run a website for cataloging criticisms of the Bible (and book of mormon): https://korihor.info/
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I always that that was a religious leader made up thing
Can someone share specifically where it says that in the bible?
Good being fair, compassionate, or good is not nearly as important as his being real.
