For me is a double espresso and cold water. I do it after lunch. 60% of the time, works every time.

When I was in college, I worked across the street for a Starbucks. I used to always go there for a cup of coffee, take a few sips, and go to my desk. Every day at exactly 9:30 I had to take a shit. Like clockwork.

For some reason the phrase “the poop in my butt” cracks me up. Just the mere concept of faeces being in the buttocks and not the intestines is really funny.

Add some nicotine into the mix and boom. Explosive diarrhea.