Members of the Florida Senate quickly passed a new bill last night that will allow teachers K-12 to publicly pistol whip students who are late to class, confirmed sources who admitted they were jealous of a new Tennessee Senate bill allowing teachers concealed carry weapons.
    • AGuyAcrossTheInternet@fedia.io
      5·
      7 months ago

      The Onion sent their journalists to the future to do actual journalistic work and sent them back to us to deliver news as satire. You can’t convince me they do it any differently. Too many Onion articles turned out surprisingly close to home over time.

  • ifGoingToCrashDont@lemmy.worldEnglish
    23·
    7 months ago

    At press time, Arizona lawmakers revived a bill from the 1860s that would allow teachers to publicly hang any students accused of “sass mouth.”

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  • Granbo's Holy Hotrod@lemmy.worldEnglish
    5·
    7 months ago

    I mean at this point you should get a SSN card and a gun. If it is that important we should replace food and housing security programs with personal security programs. Whoever can afford the bigger gun is automatically the winner.