There are hundreds of lazy low-budget cyberpunk movies that flooded the (direct-to-video) market in the 80s and 90s. Stuff like Crime Zone, Nemesis, or Omega Doom. So what cyberpunk movies can you admit are objectively bad yet still hold a place in your heart?
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Freejack, with Emilio Estevez, Mick Jagger and Anthony Hopkins.
Oh shit man I still have this comic, 10 out of 10 never even looked at it, bought it on a whim with others and put it in a bag& board to keep it prestine
Johnny Mnemonic. Keanu Reeves. Henry Rollins. Fuckin… a bright orange videocassette with Keanu Reeves but his head is the tape of the movie.
It’s honestly amazing. And his rant about room service was peak Keanu.
Does Hackers (1995) count?
No, because Hackers is too awesome to be bad.
Along with Sneakers (1992), it’s still regarded as one of the most accurate hacking movies ever despite the over the top visuals (which were all practical, no CGI). Most of those social engineering tricks still work.
I genuinely want them to do hackers as a tv series. Keep the actual “hacking” as nonsense but keep the vibe and the counterculture fun.
Cyborg (1989) is a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie that I would say is technically cyberpunk. It’s bad but also super entertaining.
I’m not sure if Runaway (1984) counts as cyberpunk but I think it could. It’s like the one film I’d actually like to see remade.
The premise is solid, it follows a police unit dedicated to wrangling or disabling runaway robots as they come to realize that their most recent robotic troublemakers aren’t just running amok from glitches but have been deliberately sabotaged in order to conduct a series of murders.
I really like that the runaway squad isn’t treated as glamorous work. The closest fit I can think of would be Animal Control. Not something to earn the envy and respect of beat cops, perhaps. I think that does a good job of setting the scope of the film and nicely illustrating that the protagonists are both in over their heads, and still the only ones qualified to unravel this mystery.
And the film gets a few other things very right - their ‘floaters’ are a downright prescient prediction of modern consumer drones, right down to how they’re used. The digitized records, voice synthesis, and other predictions of the future are pretty solid. I like the gear and precautions they take to mask and insulate themselves. The bad guy’s prototype gun that shoots rounds that chase people is actually a fun concept, might work well as a flavor of tiny suicide drones since it seemed to move at about running pace anyways.
It’s mostly let down by the setting, sets, and limitations of the props/technology.
All these predictions of the future where robots are everywhere bounce hard off the boringly 1980s daytime aesthetics and the tiny robots. It’s not trying to be the future, really, or it’s not trying very hard. The robots especially are kind of disappointing. They’re… cute, and Tom Selleck tries really hard to look intimidated by two-foot-tall robots on little roller skate wheels in several tense scenes but there’s only so much he can do.
I think with some modern cyberpunk aesthetics, some updated understanding of technology, and some more elaborate robot designs/malfunction scenarios, it could be a really good flick. Maybe borrow the creepy android from Megan for the scene where the robot housekeeper has killed its family and the protagonist has to sneak in to save the crying baby before the robot goes after it, and you’d have something really tense. (The current version has Tom Selleck sneaking around a dark house, trying to outsmart a boxy little two foot cube holding a gun).
I suppose I’ve described a Bad Metal movie. You know, I think I’d like someone to fund that instead please. Or at least finish the books.
Did you type all that and neglect to mention Gene Simmons?
I completely did. He did an excellent job chewing on all the scenery. It’s a legit cast - if they’d had some imagination in the sets and a budget for decent props it could have been awesome
I bet Gene got paid a lot of that budget. :)
Super Mario Bros. I like the movie, but I can definitely see why people don’t.
But Cyberpunk?
King Koopa runs a corporate dystopia in a seemingly slightly futuristic world that is the Mushroom Kingdom. We even see the use of cybernetics in the form of Kuribo’s Shoes, depicted as giant robotic boots.
They mean specifically the 1993 movie
Right, I figured as much, guess I better rewatch it
I highly recommend you check out the extended cut if you haven’t seen it already. If nothing else, it’s worth it just for the Iggy & Spike rap.
Hold up, there’s an extended cut, and there’s a Iggy & Spike rap and I’m just finding out about this now? Thank you kind stranger.
Happy to help! It’s on https://archive.org if you’re interested in checking it out. Go search their movie database for “Super Mario Bros: The Morton Jankel Cut”.
Oh man, finally got around to watching it thanks to your recommendation and I was thoroughly entertained. Had a big dumb grin on my face through most of it. Thanks for that!
I just hate the fact that Super Mario Bros. is, indeed, cyberpunk. It’s just so freaking bizarre. lol
It’s also one of the only moderately successful movies about a plumber.
Thanks for letting me know about this community!
Happy to, sometimes instead of loading up one of my myriad streaming services and suffering the algorithms telling me what it thinks I want Ill just scroll through that community till I find something.
Hardware.
“Ohhhh we alll walk, the wiggle-y waggl-y walk!”
Split Second.
Rutger Hauer hams it up in a near future flooded London.
If the theme was “so awful it’s great”, I think they may have nailed it.
Its also free and full on youtube Right Here
Prayer for the Rollerboys. My old hair dresser was one of the Rollerboys.
Some of Corey Haim’s finest work.
Bad cyberpunk featuring Corey Haim?! I’m watching this!
Dredd
Dredd is awesome, and this is asking about bad movies.
Did you mean Judge Dredd?
I must have skimmed over the bad part, you’re right
Bladerunner but only for the visuals
Yeah, but Bladerunner isn’t a bad cyberpunk movie, in fact it’s pretty much the gold standard.
That’s like saying whats everyone’s favorites “low key hike” and you say “Mt Everest”
I actually dislike Bladerunner as well. Great atmosphere and music, but didn’t like the plot or characters.
Bladerunner 2049 was really good tho.
have the same vibes with the sequel. I don’t know, those movies are simply not working for me, but I also never found the shortstory to be that good 🤷♂️
quiet subjective isn’t it? I don’t like Bladerunner at all and I mean every version of that movie…
I’m fine if you like it, but for me it’s one of the worst movies except visuals and music
I mean the Sherpas that lead Everest tours probably don’t think much of it, but for the majority of people, climbing Everest is a big deal.
Same for Bladerunner. The concensus is: Triumph
I postulate that you knew this would be controversial and that’s why you posted it.
nope, just sharing my opinion.
And music.
fair enough
Show me your dick.
Only one of them has that line.
Nemesis sucks, but it’s poster is fuckin amazing
