But W.V. believes his daughter “is vulnerable and is not competent to make the decision to take her own life,” according to Feasby’s summary of the father’s position.
“He says that she is generally healthy and believes that her physical symptoms, to the extent that she has any, result from undiagnosed psychological conditions.”
Her only known diagnoses described in court earlier this month are autism and ADHD.
I lost my first born to suicide 10 years ago. It was their 6th known attempt in 7 months. We were doing everything we could to help them. The only thing i would have done differently is been there to hold their hand and say goodbye. We knew it was going to happen, it was a matter of how and when.
I know it probably doesn’t mean much from an internet stranger, but I’m sorry for your loss. I couldn’t imagine that kind of pain, since you never expect them to go before you. 😢 Thank you for sharing your story.
He has no idea what her life is like from the inside or what degree of suffering she may be experiencing, because he is not her. All he knows is that her opting for MAID will cause him suffering.
If she’s competent to manage her own finances and legal affairs, she’s also competent to make this decision. Either she is an independent adult, or she is not. There’s no halfway.
You also don’t know what she’s going through either because the article did not provide any detail at all. For all we know, she could have an easily treated chemical imbalance. I think the point is that a 27 year old without a terminal illness shouldn’t just be able to commit medically assisted suicide.
I don’t know what this person has gone through because it doesn’t say in the article, but 27 is still young. It’s also possible that this is a huge mistake that she would regret with hindsight (well SHE wouldn’t, but all of her loved ones certainly would).
That’s the fun part, you don’t get a say in her life without her consent. We don’t choose to be born but we sure as shit get to choose what we do while we’re here. It doesn’t matter what you think because this isn’t about you.
If it’s “an easily treated chemical imbalance”, they would have diagnosed it by now. The MAID process is far from instantaneous. She’s had plenty of opportunity to be evaluated, and her father has had plenty of opportunity to persuade her to be evaluated.
Removed by mod
Seems selfish to me, to insist someone keep suffering on your behalf, even going so far as to try and legally block them from recieving final care that would make their passing comfortable and peaceful as it can be.
I say this as someone who had a family member who suffered from severe ADHD and attempted to take his life several times. In the end he shot himself in the face in front of his wife and their infant daughter.
He was going to do it, no amount of support from us was going to change that. The only difference is, he might’ve had a way to go that was more humane, less violent and traumatizing if we lived in a society that respected his right to do so.
I can’t even begin to imagine your feelings. I’m so sorry you went through this.
I’m truly saddened by your story, but thank you for sharing it. And unfortunately the stigma and shame that comes with things like ADHD can be overwhelming. It is easy to go down the rabbit hole of “if only I could be normal…”, or “what would my life be like if I didn’t have ADHD…” and quickly lead to depression and more guilt.
The rate of death by suicide is alarmingly high among neurodivergent individuals, which is a real issue needing more attention. We need to work to demolish the stigma of these diagnoses, and make it a world where people can feel comfortable asking for help.
Ok this has brought me down, so I’m done in this thread for a bit, maybe I’ll check back later.
Looks like Reddit is leaking again.
Even your phrasing has a “Like a pet” vibe.
My wife has an illness that sounds similar (I’m her full time caregiver, unfortunately). We get this “it is all in your head” bullshit all the time. But I see my wife suffer unbelievably every day. Fuck this father.
And everyone should have the right to do as they wish with their own body.
Sounds similar to what? They didn’t describe the contributing factors at all in the article.
For all we know she has depression or some other chemical imbalance that could be treated and she would have a perfectly normal life. And fuck the father for loving his daughter? You’re clearly not a parent…
We know it’s not what you said because those are not reasons allowed for MAID at this time.
Stop trying to make decisions for others. You don’t know better (or anything beyond the article) and you’re assuming you do. You’re literally pushing for more suffering in the world and for people to not have their own say over their lives and their bodies. What makes you so special? You don’t get a say.
I am a parent of an adult. I agree with the comment you replied to, even though it would cause me great personal suffering to lose my child. I love them enough to prefer then not suffer to appese me. They’re happy, but it could easily be different. I’m lucky.
Two doctors signed off. They don’t offer this service for depression or small issues. Right to Die movement is for people who are beyond having quality of life that gives them enough satisfaction to deal with their illness.
See How to Die in Oregon. In this docu, there’s a woman with a tumor who fights to be a part of the world until it looks like she swallowed a large football. That’s the point when she chose to end it. She clearly wanted to live but it just stopped being worth the suffering.
She is 27 and still living at home where the article describes the dad as her caretaker. She has both an autism and ADHD diagnosis, but Dad thinks all her physical symptoms derive from her making them up, because he believes her to have an undiagnosed mental illness. I’m just one person that believes they are on the spectrum (with ADHD), but physical symptoms are real. Having a caretaker that refuses to believe you is not going to make for a great life. Especially depending on your symptoms, which again because she is 27 and still at home with a parental caretaker, I’m guessing that they are pretty involved.
Also, these are often both genetic and passed down from a parent, so where is mom in this scenario? And might that also be playing a part in this?
Anyhoo, my 2 cents.
Yeah, you clearly understand the situation better than her fucking parents, from the shitty news stories.
Chill out, this isn’t reddit
Not to completely shit on dad here either, it could well be that he is also on the spectrum and has lived in an environment that has instilled in him that you just ignore your needs because that makes you “normal”. That is why I was wondering about mom, as it is more than likely one of them is on the spectrum also and perhaps just never diagnosed and their child being diagnosed has unlocked some shit.
Anyways I’m not a psychiatrist, just going through my own adult realization of things, and it’s not easy.
Dad could be exacerbating symptoms.
You would think that when the person you’re taking care of would rather kill themselves than spend another day with you, you’d notice that you’re doing something very, VERY wrong.
Holy shit is that is a very bad take!
You don’t know a thing about this guy. And to put all her pain on him without knowing shit about either of them is completely out of line.
And it is possible to be surrounded by love and still have a void that cannot be filled. Just knowing you’re “different” can be a mind job in and of itself. But making this all about the dad diminishes her feelings, her pain, her guilt.
/rant
Except yes I totally can make it about them because having a support network that produces negative results is why this sort of thing happens.
I’m going to play the otherside argument: if there are underlying mental health issues you can sometimes do everything right and the loved one isn’t able to receive it or process it without a negative filter and they want to leave the world anyway.
We had this happen with a family member. Validation, love, therapies, medicine changes, activities. Their brain just was not working right and thought our love etc were “faked” so you make them less guilty. Had MAID been an option they would have chosen it.
They had a suicide attempt that 99% should have killed them. From extreme trauma their personality was fractured, as it came back together there was a eureka moment for them.
They occassionally struggle with bad days when idle, but overall they say they can’t believe they were trapped in that mindspace and couldn’t see how much they were valued and loved. They, and we, are thankful for this second opportunity.
Not everyone can be “fixed” or their suffering eliminated, but every single case is unique…and family want to hope that person see the otherside.
But I will 100% vote in favour of people having this choice, because if somebody lives to 90 and everyday was hell then that is not living anyway
MAID can’t be consensual under capitalism, but all beings which exist have an inherent right to end their own existence whenever they decide to.
This wouldn’t be a discussion if a 27 year old shot themself, huffed an asphyxiant, or jumped off something high.
That’s the true choice here: we allow someone to end it cleanly, or we must accept they’ll end their own life messily and brutally.
You can’t get organ donations from a OD or a traumatic impact.
