• 3 Posts
  • 20 Comments
Joined 11 months ago
cake
Cake day: February 14th, 2024

help-circle
  • SuddenlyMelissatoTransLooking for a 3rd mod
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    6
    ·
    10 months ago

    I would be interested. This community helped/continues to help me so much, and I am looking for ways to give back.

    I have been posting weekly about my experience on HRT, and am interested in taking a more active role in the community. I want this community to remain welcoming and positive, it should be a safe place for people to discuss both their struggles and successes on their journeys. We should remain open to the rainbow of experiences “trans” represents while strongly shutting down hatred and bad actors.

    There is a sense of community here that I haven’t felt anywhere else, online or off, and I want to be a bigger part of that.





  • Incedible story, thanks for sharing. I totally understand that day 1 feeling. I was SO scared about it all, but almost immediately I felt more ok with myself. It’s still strange to me in some ways, my mind and body have never been further apart in their expression of gender, but my disphoria has lessened so much. For the first time in my life, I’m actually starting to accept myself.

    When I started down this road, I mentally prepared myself for others to react strongly to it, one way or the other. Instead most everyone just accepted it, and told me I should just be me and do whatever makes me happy. Don’t get me wrong, their understanding and acceptance has been excellent, but sometimes I felt like I needed that challenge. Almost like I wanted someone I’d have to convince to accept me. I’ve since come to realize that I was looking for that because I hadn’t yet accepted myself. I think I was hoping that if I could convince someone else I’m female, I would believe it more myself, or work harder to prove it.

    In a way, I was looking to create some sort of triumphant coming out story, like something out of a movie, where I say “No, this is me!” and start fighting for myself. That’s not how real life works though, and instead I needed to take the time to realize who I am. It was only once I did that I was actually able to start fighting for myself and standing up for who I am.







  • I felt some of that insecurity that first week too. I’ve found I tend to want to run away from who I am whenever it causes friction in my life. That feels a lot less possible now and that scared me a little. I’m realizing I don’t want to run away from this anymore though, and that part of my intention with HRT is to force myself to accept that.



  • Thanks for the suggestion and kind words! It’s helpful hearing others are having similar experiences, it makes it feel more legitimate in a way. Sometimes I worry that its all a placebo and I’m just convincing myself this is helping me. It feels different than times in the past where improvements have been temporary though, like something fundamental is shifting into the right place.