I get a mix of intense gender envy, but also a ton of vicarious euphoria just enjoying how much happier people look/are in their timelines/stories. I can definitely relate though, and I’ll go into a bit of my situation to better explain how I observe it.
In my case I’ve been aware that I’m a girl for over like 16 years now, and I only mustered enough courage to go on hrt 4 years ago. In all that time I’ve been constantly thinking about transitioning, but I’ve still hardly been able to acquire any clothes or make enough gender affirming changes, so timelines for me often feel like a painful reminder that I’m unable to make the changes I want as fast as I’d like.
I mostly manage by appreciating all the small bits of progression I do get and knowing that I’m only going to look better from here in the future. And even with how much they sometimes hurt to see, hearing about other people’s success helps fill in some of the happiness I’m missing from my own transition, so I’m fortunate to get far more of a positive reaction from them.
It’s all so slow and rough (I’m still annoyed that my endo waitlist took over a year, so good call on starting DIY), but as someone also struggling to make progression I wish you the best of luck. 🙏🏻❤️
I’m glad to hear you got that planned out already. I wasn’t really prepared and my endo started me super low for so long, so I only just got put on something I could handle with 4mg E pills last month. 💀
Oh damn the tools there are really useful, thanks for the link!