Broadly speaking, kiwifarms is also a community where men comment on mirred posts from other social media sites, which tells me that it’s potentially a disaster waiting to happen.

I’d live in fear of men crossposting to make fun of or criticize things I write without my knowledge.

It’s not impossible for a concept like this to work. GirlGamers on Reddit allows men to comment, but not make posts, and the men there are on the whole very respectful. You would occasionally get a toxic guy, but it was pretty infrequent and the moderators removed those comments quick. There are also a lot of moderators on that subreddit.

However, lemmy has a really peculiar monoculture of men who are left wing, but either get extremely defensive whenever someone brings up feminism or are actively anti-feminist.

Case in point: I feel like that group you mentioned kind of already exists, and it’s witchesvspatriarchy, which gets brigaded by angry men on the regular, to the point where it’s sometimes difficult for that community to operate as it was originally intended. I would be concerned that it would turn into a space where women get drowned out by large brigades of men in the community, and it just becomes an echo chamber where men criticise women and feminist thought; it would be an open fire hose for any moderator on that community.

So I’m just not sure if it would work on Lemmy. At the very least, not until more women start using the platform.

I showed this to my girlfriend and she told me it’s fate that doomed girls find each other. 💀

I’m sorry. I suppose I should have said “I don’t need the internet outside of work.”

No one needs the internet outside of work. The moment I’m forced to show my ID or get my face scanned, I’m done for good.

Totally agree. I’m so checked out of celebrity gossip that I only recognized Amber Heard’s controversy, only vaguely, and only because people kept asking me about it, to which I’d respond, “Oh, I don’t know.”

“Anne Hathaway? Oh, I remember Les Mis. She did that whole song in one take.”

I’m 6’2". Most standard long sleeves fit awkwardly below my wrists and sit above my hips.

This one hits hard. And even after learning self-love, it still comes and goes. Self-love is certainly a verb and not a noun.

Like LadyButterfly said, there’s just so many negative messaging and expectations directed at women. I don’t think I’ll ever measure up. Still, to quote a popular Millennial maxim, I am cringe but I am free.

Torrid is my go-to place for heels. I’m sadly too tall for their tops, but there is this sleeveless wrap cardigan I have from Torrid that I love.

As a tall girl (like, really tall), where to buy clothes that had long enough sleeves to fit. I was confused for a long time because there isn’t a single clothing store to my knowledge in the U.S. that actual sells tall sizes in the store. So I was buying T-shirts, dresses, and unflattering mens’ clothes. But a lot of those stores do have tall sizes, just on their website and in limited quantities. All my friends are shorter, so no one in my life knew this, and generally have been skeptical when I tell them that no brick-and-mortars actually have anything that fits.

Another thing I’ve learned is that I should be slow to jump on seasonal clothes, and that you save money in the long run by spending more on clothes, or by buying vintage clothes that existed before the brands enshittified. Most of my favorite tops are vintage Eddie Bauers, LL Beans, and Long Tall Sallys that I’ve carefully picked up from Poshmark over the years, and they’ve really stood the test of time.

Physical these days is mostly dead, so long-term I’ve been going for DRM-free digital. GOG, 7digital or ripping via Foobar2000 for music, ebooks.com plus Calibre, and MakeMKV for DVDs. Steam’s DRM, when not paired with other DRM, is lenient enough where I’m okay with using that when no other options are available.

I do still like physical for some things. I prefer physical for PS3 games versus digital because most games read straight from the disc, and install sizes a significantly smaller if you go that route. That generation of gaming really respected your hard drive. I don’t like buying a disc and then still having to install 100 GB to my hard drive – at that point, why bother?

And I like getting consoles and flashcarts physical, but not the games themselves. There’s nothing as cozy and nostalgic as playing 3DS games on the original hardware, but I don’t need all the cartriges. Everdrive with the Genesis Model 1 is also my preferred way of playing that console so I can experience the original music through the built-in headphone jack.

The exception to that is I’m a sucker for physical game media that has connectivity with other media. So I have a physical copy of Pokemon HeartGold with the Poke Walker, and too many DDR dance pads. I really want that GBA game Kojima made where the cart has a solar panel and you build up energy to defeat vampires by going outside.

Not as well as I would like. A few years ago, my diet was amazing and I was getting daily exercise, and that felt really good. I moved in with my partner last year, who is extremely picky and rejects most dishes I make that are healthy. So I cook meals we can agree on, which often end up being devoid of vegetables and either unhealthy or neutral at best.

I also now get woken up an hour before I’d like to, at 5 a.m., by a screaming cat every single morning, so instead of exercising or doing yoga before work, I just spend the next two hours being exhausted and just trying to wake up.

I’m good about other things, like skincare and not staying up late. The state of my living space also correlates directly with my mental state, so I always keep things clean.

I think, I hope, that building routines aren’t linear. At 17 and 18 I had great routines too which fell by the wayside the longer I spent in college, and things got better for a few years after college. Cohabitating with another person will be a temporary setback and not a permanent one.

But there is a systemic cause that predisposes some proportion of specifically white and male people to be racist and sexist through enculturation. I’m sorry, but that’s just the reality: Not all white men, of course, but there are clear racial and gender lines in who voted for Donald Trump. The good ones who are not that way ended up that way by either resisting those societal pressures or being brought up away from bigoted people. I sure do appreciate those white men.

To claim it’s just individual ignores the most nefarious cause of bigotry, that it’s this societal phenenomon and a negative feedback loop.

If she insinuated she hears a lot of white men but didn’t specify what kinds, that’s because Twitter is a social media environment that by its own mechanics discourages people from being specific. I would argue that the bigger problem is Twitter/Bluesky/Mastodon. Don’t hate the player, hate the game.

One would turn into the enemy they were fighting against if they said something like, “I hate all men” or “kill all men.” There are situations where that might happen on social media, but I’m sorry we don’t see eye to eye on this, but I just don’t see that as being the case here. This particular tweet is ambiguous, but I’m not convinced it’s targeting all men with its language.

I do agree that “patriarchy” and “men” are distinct terms that should not be mistaken for one another.

I don’t disagree in principle, but how do we get to that point of ending racism and sexism without pointing out people who do sexist or racist things?

I think we have different barometers as to what constitutes a generalization. Was the OOP talking about white men in general or just the white men who do the thing she’s criticizing? I’m leaning toward the latter.

Maybe, but in the tweet, did soph say “white men” or “all white men”?

There are times when hurt people do call out all men in their wording, which isn’t accurate to say, but there seem to be more times when the language is just ambiguous or overtly does not call out all the people of a group and the #notallmen people read into things and then get angry on the internet.

But beyond even that, I sort of just think social media was a mistake. #notallmen wasn’t a thing in the past because women vented in person to each other, or to male allies they trusted enough about other men. Women could express their feelings, and a portion of men wouldn’t get angry due to feeling as though they were personally called out. Everything about Twitter from its limited character counts precluding context and people feeling like they can say any horrible thing to each other without consequence has regressed us as a species.

It would only be ironic if the women of Lemmy were the most powerful people on the platform and used that power to silence men across the website. As it stands, women are a superminority on the fediverse, and men have the numbers to run roughshod on these communities and effectively prevent them from being spaces where women communicate with each other. This is an ongoing concern on c/witchesvspatriarchy, where thread after thread gets derailed from its original purpose by men. The goal isn’t to censor you so much as defend ourselves. So it’s not ironic.

Especially since c/menslib could make its community men-only and you wouldn’t hear any complaining from me.

Maybe if you all stopped brigading, taking over, and drowning out all the womens’ voices on a womens’ community, that rule wouldn’t need to exist. This isn’t Reddit where it’s more of an even split.

I don’t think that’s even true anymore. After winning the culture war, the bigots definitely seem more embolded to speak freely, at work or otherwise. Despite this, many to this day will express feeling like the powers that be are censoring them even though their political party dominates nearly every aspect of politics and public life.

I work with a bunch of white men, and I’m definitely the one who has to walk on eggshells.

Unfortunately, this has been one of the better responses among the Democrats. At least he advocates for keeping the government out of this issue and that it should be determined by experts in the field, and that we shouldn’t put blanket bans on sports because chess is obviously different than football.

Frankly, though, I have little to no faith in either party to protect my rights. I can’t shake the feeling that whether a Republican or a Democrat wins 2028 that our heads will still be on the chopping block.

Looking at history, I don’t think this will end up like the Civil Rights movement. I think our curse is that every 100 years, we have about 10-ish good years and come just shy of reaching social acceptance, then get successfully forced back into the closet and/or genocided with all our history erased, and then start to “reappear” in the public consciousness 75 to 100 years later to a public that thinks we’re this new group that suddenly appeared out of nowhere. We simply don’t have enough numbers to defend ourselves and no other groups will ever meaningfully try to defend us.