Episode 3: Everyone Dies on a Lightning Train

Four brave adventurers must free the only person who can stop a war. Will they succeed? Not a chance.

DM (and Gorthax the Barbarian) - Charlie Rehor
Bagel the Eagle, The Lord of Blades - Bill Rehor
Finley Fardwoggen (Gnome Bard) - Anjali Bhimani
Franklin (Clerical Dwarf) - Deborah Ann Woll
Samulan Freewalk (Elf Rogue) - Abraham Benrubi
Simeon “The Loose? Toulouse?” Freewalk (Elf Rogue) - Matthew Lillard

Our adventure takes place in Eberron, a place of practical magic where elemental forces are used to create technologies like airships and lightning trains. Coincidentally you happen to be on an airship right now, high above a wasteland, and far beneath you is a lightning train running on an elevated rail.
In the distance, you see the grey clouds of the Mournelands, all that is left of an entire nation destroyed in the last war.
You’ve been summoned here by a certain “Mr Green” who’s promised only adventure and a chance to prevent the next war.
You’ve done nothing for the last couple hours other than sightseeing and there’s not much to see, but eventually you are led below decks, deep into the bowels of the ship. In fact you feel the wind rattling the timbers beneath your feet.
You’re led into a long room and there are two figures in the room. A human fighter with chainmail and a huge sword strapped to his back, and the most enormous eagle you have ever seen, standing behind him. It is almost as tall as a man and it sits there preening its feathers, looking at you.
Mr. Green summons you and as he does, he’s playing with this strange cube in his hand, and as you take a seat, he loses concentration and accidentally drops it. From it springs a barbarian, six feet tall, with murder in its eyes, with a huge axe and two more axes strapped to its back, and it says,
“I rage for meter and verse, for mine is the axe less traveled, and it has made all the difference.”
As (the barbarian) says that, Mr. Green picks the cube back up, clicks the side, and the barbarian is wooshed back into the cube.
"Sorry about that. That was a demonstration of our newest technology, ‘A Barbarian in a Box’. It’s a key part of our plans, but I will get to it in a minute. It is indeed well that you are here, because the world needs adventurers at this moment. The Lord of Blades, a renegade warforged, and a powerful enemy of peace, has discovered a new weapon in The Mournelands. One that he could use to start ‘the next war’. There is one man who could stop him, Professor Drumwit from Forgrave University has discovered his plans and he knows how to stop the machine before the Lord of Blades can start a new war. Unfortunately the Covenant of the Grey Mists has kidnapped him and is holding him in an armored lightning train, which coincidentally is directly below us right now. That’s right. I have my proposal here for you. It is a daring rescue. We shall drop from the ship, activating our feather tokens at the last second to land safely on the lightning train. It is indeed dangerous, but they will be writing songs about this day for twenty years and you’ll have the satisfaction of stopping the next war.
The benefactor, the person who provided the plans, for this dangerous operation and indeed this war eagle, which I have named Bagel, because it rhymes with eagle, has generously offered a sum of 3000 gold pieces per week for this operation
Now there are a few things that have come up in our security check of your backgrounds, so I kinda need to clear up before we go on.
Brothers, it’s a little unclear in our dossier of you, but I need to know the incident about three years ago in Sharn. Something happened on a dark and stormy night involving a loaf of bread, a sack of copper pieces, a mysterious woman from Brieland, and of course a one-eyed newt.
Franklin and Finlay Fardwoggen, similar question, but about that night in the Stewing Rabbit Inn, which I believe involved a shovel, one live fish, one dead parrot, eight barrels of whiskey, and half the city guard. Franklin I don’t know how you could work with Finlay after this.
Frankly, it’s all a little sketchy, but here we are, in an airship, above a lightning train, are you ready to have an adventure?