Are you non-binary as well? What does non-binary mean to you? Do you have anything you’d like to share with the community?
as my profile states, I’m a triple A threat (agender, aromantic, asexual) and it’s only been recently that I’ve figured out that…genders just aren’t for me.
I like to joke that for me, gender is a prison (but any pronouns are fine) and I’ve seen things like non-binary people saying “she/her but like you’d say about an old car” which is funny to me, but I know it bothers some people, and I respect that. I still struggle myself with saying “guys” a lot, but I hang out with friends younger than me and am trying to use “y’all” more, I’ve never quite grasped using “folks”. I also try using “feminine” and “masculine” instead of “male” and “female” for things that might potentially reference a binary gender. like “masculine pronouns”, for example.
I used to identify as genderfluid, for a long time, but I’ve never dressed in a typical feminine fashion, as an afab person, and while I like some masculine clothing, I really just don’t want to bother trying to tie myself to a particular style. t-shirts and hoodies are great and comfy, thanks.
non-binary means having freedom to breathe, and not be subjected to having to find something I specifically identify with and making it ironclad. my partner is also non-binary, and we’ve been on the journey together, which has been nice, but they more identify with having, what they call, “too much gender”.
It’s a process for everyone, and one that never stops.
I was kinda hoping to figure this stuff out before non-binary day, so it would be a day of celebration. But honestly I still don’t really understand what I feel like. I’m AMAB. For years I’ve felt like my perfect “me”, if life had a character creator, would be a neutral or more AFAB body (without boobs) and a more masc clothing style. I was generally at peace with everything though, thinking “nobody looks exactly how they want to look like”. However, a bit over a year ago I started exploring more of my feminine side and honestly it’s thrown everything into chaos. Painting my nails, shaving all body hair, (privately) wearing feminine clothes. Many days I come back to the feeling that I wish that I was AFAB. But still idk what I’d present like if that were the case.
One day I’ll damn it all and decide that I have no issue with being male, the next day I desperately wish I was a girl (and I’ll fantasize about being one), and the next day I decide that I must be non-binary. It’s quite chaotic and I’m kinda confused about it all. I never used to feel like this. For now my conclusion is that it’s fine to explore it all, there’s no rush to get it right. I’m probably “at least” NB, and maybe even completely a trans woman. But as long as I’m happy and just learning a bit more about myself every month, it’s not big deal.
I’m still trying to understand my gender and it shifts around a bit seemingly on a weekly basis, but enby is the best fit I’ve found so far. I think it’s important and healthy for everyone to question and poke at their gender at least once in their life as the introspection can help you learn a lot about yourself, regardless if you wish to change your gender or not.
Being nonbinary feels very freeing and like I can more easily be myself, whatever that is. Calling myself a binary gender makes me feel like I have act and dress a certain way and I find that very limiting.
To answer the questions myself, I’m non-binary and agender. Non-binary is mostly just a label I use to help other people understand that I don’t fit into any preconceived notions they likely have about me. I prefer offering up my needs and wants as they become relevant, or having conversations about how people should interact with me before making assumptions.
The one thing I’d like to share with the community and the world, is that you need to practice and incorporate more gender neutral language in the world. I cannot stress how much we need to do away with sir and ma’am, in particular. I absolutely hate both of these honorifics and they’re used way too much over the phone. Call people boss, dude, mate, chief, your majesty, commander, captain, comrade, friend, buddy, liege… literally anything else, please!
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Use y’all! It’s gender neutral and just plain cute
I feel that - “guys” is a familiar enough habit that it still takes conscious effort sometimes to use “folks”. “Pal” in my experience comes across a lot like “champ” and doesn’t help the conversation.
My grandmother used to scold me that I was to call women “miss” unless corrected, along with other proper manners from decades before me. The idea that it’s important to respect people and address them in the way that helps them to be comfortable is what the real takeaway is, but it’s tough to shake those habits sometimes.
Same, I’ve been changing “guys” to “folks” and “man” to “fam”.
Because “come on man” has been used for so long that one has been harder. Using fam feels a little out of place for my millennial self but I think Gen Z found a great replacer with “come on fam” and I can get behind that.
I absolutely hate both of these honorifics
Just get rid of all honorifics (including Mrs/Ms/Mr/Mx/Dr). Boss, chief, majesty, commander, captain, liege, queen etc are fine if they are used used ironically, but if they just try to replace honorifics, then they’re just as bad imo (as someone who doesn’t care much about the gender associated with them).
Oh hey, it’s my day.
I’m non-binary and just keep it as that. I know it’s an umbrella term that has many (MANY) further subcategories that can be explored but I never felt it was necessary for me. I just know that I’m somewhere between man and woman and feel euphoria from being androgynous. Honestly, whenever I hear the definition of Twin Spirit that sounds really accurate to how I feel inside, but seeing as I’m profusely white it seems wrong to use that label. So, just non-binary for me.
And that’s okay.
Cool, we have a day! Didn’t know that. I’m agender. As in, I just can’t relate to any of them. Happy to celebrate with all my fellow peeps here :)
Came out as non-binary a couple of months ago… of the genderfluid variety.
Every day is a learning day as I try and accept and discover more about myself.
When asked I give my pronouns as they/them though there is a distinct feminine leaning much of the time.
Start counselling for it on Monday… I’m very nervous though I recognise it is a positive step to take.
I’m non-binary, genderqueer, and omnigender
Non-binary to me just means that, that my gender is outside binary notions of gender. Genderqueer means that my gender, just like my orientations, is outside the norm. I also identify with the anti-assimilation notions “queer” carries Omnigender means that I identify with at least one gender of every quality (that is, femininity, masculinity, neutrality, androgyny, outherinity, etc), but I do not necessarily experience every gender “available” to my race, culture, neurotype, etc. There’s also some sense of demigenderness and genderfluidity on my gender, which is a bit complicated to explain, but I just label those things as part of me being omnigender. I’m also transoutherine because my presentation and transition goal are toward something that isn’t fem, masc, neu nor andro.
Something I would like to share is to remind people to ask for pronouns and not assume a nonbinary person goes by they/them pronouns. And to remember that using they/them for a nonbinary person who’s pronouns are some set of neopronouns and/or who is transextrine (extrine: any quality, gender or person that isn’t feminine or masculine) is just as degendering as doing it to a transfem/she/her nonbinary person or a transmasc/he/him nonbinary person. Extrine genders and identities aren’t “less serious” than intrine (fem or masc) ones.
