• BeefPiano@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    “Get out of the dog house card” isn’t going to work the way either of them think. Pulling that card when you’re in the doghouse is not going to make her fine with whatever upset her. There’s a good chance she’ll say she’s “fine” because she doesn’t want to renege on her chart, but whatever conflict isn’t going to resolve itself because he gave her that card.

    Trading sex for chores is gross. I don’t want a BJ or lap-dance from a partner that is only doing it because the sticker chart says she has to.

    It’s also insane that things like washing dishes or packing lunches or changing diapers aren’t part of the baseline expectations for a dad. You don’t get an award for doing the bare minimum!

    Both of these people are demonstrating the emotional intelligence of a block of cheese.

      • ditty@lemm.ee
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        10 months ago

        I was in a relationship with a controlling partner who made something very similar to this back in ~2016. I can’t remember exactly what was on it, but there was definitely a sexual favor reward for some amount of chores (it was like I had to give her X hour-long full body massages or smth) 💀

    • chetradley@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      It’s also insane that things like washing dishes or packing lunches or changing diapers aren’t part of the baseline expectations for a dad.

      This is the one that gets me the most. Like, I do the majority of a lot of these things in addition to taking my kid to daycare, doing almost all of the cooking, etc. I do it because I want to help my family, not because I’m saving up for a toothy blowjob.

      • 0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works
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        10 months ago

        It sound good till you actually experience that and realize how degrading it is.

        Look, I’m a male and I completely get the “I’m horny all the time” aspect of males, but… if she did this, that’s a complete downer for me. Mind you, I love sex, I would have it a few times a day if I could.

        • Signtist@lemm.ee
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          10 months ago

          It depends on how seriously it’s followed. My wife will often say something along the lines of “if you make dinner I’ll let you feel me up,” but it’s with the mutual understanding that she knows I’d make her dinner because she asked regardless of the reward, and I know she wouldn’t offer it if she wasn’t happy to give it - she just wants to make sure we have dinner first.

          This chart’s a bit too far, though, since it’s a more long-term commitment that doesn’t factor in everyone’s feelings at the time that the rewards come due, but I could see that being circumvented in the event that a “rain check” could be called if someone’s not feeling it at that moment.

        • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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          10 months ago

          It sound good till you actually experience that and realize how degrading it is.

          Some are into that

        • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
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          10 months ago

          Does she want sex or does she want chores done? Because if it’s just the latter, then I wouldn’t really want sex either.

          If you’re ever handed a chore chart and it’s not part of a kink, then assume your relationship is in serious trouble.

    • bramblepatchmystery@slrpnk.net
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      10 months ago

      I think you are right if every assumption about this couple we make is the worst one to make.

      This might be a cornball gamification of a loving couple’s sex life. She might be a sexual assault survivor who requires a few days to get in the sexy mood and reminders that she is taken of by her partner helps her. They could just be glomping for the camera. This could even not be theirs or something they made for rage bait.

      Your engagement of public intrusion and moralizing into these people’s lives might ironically be hurting these people more than the chart has.

    • Classy@sh.itjust.works
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      10 months ago

      I was gonna say, the way I care for our kid, if we had done this chart I wouldn’t have had time to do anything but get continuous blow jobs and lap dances!

    • Kecessa@sh.itjust.works
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      10 months ago

      I’m kind of disturbed by the fact that they call it “being in the dog house”… Is it a common expression in English?

      • papalonian@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        Someone else answered but yes it’s a boomer expression. Basically to mean you’re in trouble with your spouse. (They aren’t letting you in their bed so you go to sleep with your dog in the dog house.)

      • WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        Yes, I’ve never heard a real person use it but I’ve heard it on TV enough to know what it means. I think it’s a boomer expression.