How old were you when you began questioning/considering you weren’t “normal”? I’m in my 30s and almost all at once feel like I’m not sure what I am in most demensions and struggling to figure out what I feel about anything. I’ve been married, happily for a while, which adds a little to the confusion.
I’ve had eggy thoughts all my life. The one I remember most clearly is secretly choosing a new (girl) name in middle school, although that’s not the name I eventually went with. In high school I decided “I’m going to get a sex change when I grow up”, and after I graduated I learned how being trans actually works and started HRT at 19.
I’ve recently been re-remembering random things wondering if I was having eggy moments as well. At this point I can’t imagine transitioning. I don’t know if it’s because I don’t want to or haven’t figured it out yet. I can’t exactly say what I feel like other than uncomfortable. Maybe I finally overcame my upbringing and accepted that such ideas exist enough for my discomfort to prompt some questioning.
While my spouse is accepting, we both have family that is very not accepting,and that’s what terrifies me. I’m not a confrontational person, and now I feel like I may not be “the status quo”.