Joining the fediverse can be a daunting proposition, and it is understandable that many end up on larger more centralised servers that are easier to find. I have also had some bad experience with smaller servers also. The first one I arrived on was very quiet, almost inactive, and I should have taken that as a warning sign. Later it went down and I had to join another. Unfortunately the next server was mastodon.lol and so within a year I had to deal with the drama of that one shutting down. At least this time I had six months notice to migrate.

But bigger servers have their own pitfalls. It is easy to get lost in them, being disconnected from the admins. Many are poorly moderated and willing to federate with problematic instances that increase your chances of encountering more explicit forms ablism, racism and queerphobia. And in recent weeks we have seen the willingness of these larger servers to connect to a new service made by Meta, Facebooks parent company, with the onslaught of bigotry that will bring.

So whether you are thinking of joining the fediverse, or are already here but thinking of either migrating or forming other accounts, this guide is for you. It is also for you to share to queer friends that want to join.

Feel free to expand on this list with suggestions in replies. I will try and keep it up to date with which instances are open/invite only, if people can help me notice.

Microblogging (Twitter like interfaces)

Mastodon

The most popular microblogging software on the fediverse. Good app support

Currently open to new members

Invite only

You might need to network with admins or users of the following instances to get an invite

Sharkey

Can use Mastodon and Misskey apps to connect. I use Milktea (a Misskey app) for mobile notifications, but the generic web interface in the browser is so good I usually go there for interaction.

Akkoma

Social Networking (Facebook like interfaces)

Friendica

Forum (Reddit like interfaces)

Lemmy

KBin

  • sarsaparilyptus@lemmy.fmhy.mlEnglish
    13·
    1 year ago

    lemmy.blahaj.zone unfortunately federates with lemmygrad.ml, which is a forum that puts gleeful support for the soviet union and the CCP above all other concerns, and accuses you of being brainwashed by the CIA if you take exception to Stalin executing gays. Beehaw.org is kind of a hugbox but they have many openly queer admins/mods and a dedicated LGBT+ community.

    • Toni WidmoOPEnglish
      10·
      1 year ago

      Thanks. I’m sure that is just oversight on the admin here’s part. I’ve seen no indication from either that they are tankie friendly. I’ll let them know. I’ll also add beehaw.org to the list.

      • Ada@blahaj.zone
        19·
        1 year ago

        @toni@lemmy.blahaj.zone It wasn’t an oversight as such, more that I am naïve to the politics involved. In my mind, as long as they weren’t attacking queer rights, then it wasn’t a priority for me.

        However, prompted by several requests, I’ve done a bit of a deep dive to bring myself up to speed, and have made the choice to defederate lemmygrad.

    • Franzia
      1·
      1 year ago

      Updating months later that what’s been said here is 100% true. These tankie communities are to be avoided.

      Blahaj.zone has defederated from lemmygrad and Hexbear.net as well, and many instances have bow had trouble with prominent members of those communities and defederated following this. Should no longer be an issue as instance admins have cut ties with these toxic communities.

  • flamingmongooseEnglish
    8·
    1 year ago

    https://towns.gay has served me well, it’s got a focus on urbanism and tbh I find the local feed a little boring sometimes but it isn’t too defed-happy and seems very stable.

    • Toni WidmoOPEnglish
      4·
      1 year ago

      Thanks, that is interesting. However since it remains unfederated, I won’t confuse people by putting it in the fediverse guide. I am glad you have included it as a reply though.

    • Franzia
      2·
      1 year ago

      Hexbear as a community has proven recently to be much less friendly than advertised here, months ago.

  • jahtnamasEnglish
    5·
    1 year ago

    the mastodon server i’m on, queer.party, is also invite only. the admin is a nonbinary, gay, and polyamorous furry.

  • emma@kbin.sh
    3·
    1 year ago

    Check out the Anti-META Fedi Pact. There are already lots of instances on the list. Beehaw has made a post proving that they have signed it, but the site has not updated to add them to the list yet. Note that being on the list does not necessarily mean that an instance is LGBTQ+ friendly, so make sure to verify for yourself.

  • kopper [they/them]English
    2·
    1 year ago

    Found this while sorting by new comments so I may as well throw this in: but there’s https://fedi196.gay when it comes to kbin. Looking through various instance lists it really seems like the only one that has any kind of moderation stance at all (not that it matters considering most of kbin seems to have happily centralized themselves on kbin.social which doesn’t seem to be being moderated effectively (if at all))

    The federation between kbin and Lemmy is pretty spotty but it seems to work well enough.

    • Toni WidmoOP
      1·
      1 year ago

      Thanks, have added it. Sorry for delay, had a busy month.

    • Toni WidmoOP
      2·
      1 year ago

      It already does include chaosfem.tw. Never heard of toot.cat, so adding now. I was aware that eightpoint and tech.lgbt defedded over something, but not any others. My instance still federates with eightpoint and I still have friends there. Everyone there seems chill so it seems a bit odd.

      • Jon
        4·
        1 year ago

        toot.cat’s a great site, I’ve had an account there since 2017, and it’s very queer-friendly. I don’t know whether the current admin has stated their gender so you might want to check on that.

        With eightpoint, quite a few sites defederated late last year because of information that one of their moderators was actually somebody who is widely seen as a serial abuser, has a reputation for inflitrating and wrecking radical left spaces, and has in the past cooperated with the FBI … but was using a different name on eightpoint (as they have multiple times in the past). Of course in a situation like this, everybody makes up their own minds about how believable the information is; for what it’s worth, I found it quite convincing. Anyhow, eightpoint’s admin initially strongly backed the moderator, and accusations of bad faith went in both directions. The moderator stepped down and left but it’s hard to recover trust after a situation like that.

        EDIT: @jenalyze@queer.af gave the abuser’s name elsewhere in the thread.

        • Toni WidmoOP
          2·
          1 year ago

          Since the abuser is no longer there, and there is no problems with abusive behaviour or rules from that instance, continued defederation seems a bit strong, especially when there are far worse instances everyone is still federated with (stux, gargamel, and all the meta ‘wait and see’ sell outs etc). At this point it seems that it is just a grudge and bad blood between instance admins, and it is users that suffer the consequences.

          • Jon
            2·
            1 year ago

            Agreed that there are plenty of problematic instances led by cis people that everybody federates with, including mastodon.social. For eightpoint, I don’t know how many instances have and haven’t refederated … for that matter I don’t even know how many defederated originally. Some instances see it the way you do: the abuser’s gone, so as long as there’s no continued problems, refederating makes sense. Those who are still defederated probably see it as a question of ongoing safety: the admin mistakenly trusted and gave power to an abuser, and then defended them, so they’re likely to make similar mistakes in the future. It’s a matter both of moderation philosophy and reactions to the specifics of this situation.

        • Toni WidmoOP
          1·
          1 year ago

          From what I understand Laurelai was booted from eightpoint though, so the fact eightpoint is still defederated is a point of some other drama.

    • Toni WidmoOP
      1·
      10 months ago

      Thanks for the updated. I have edited the post to reflect the latest information.