I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack? - Lemmy.world
lemmy.world
Please don’t ask why I need this. It would be great if the food also made me sweat less. It has to be something I can easily find. EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION: - I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities. - I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere. - I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere. - I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully). - Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself. - If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets. Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

They’ve been very cagey about their reasons, so naturally the comments are split between making the worst/most hilarious assumptions, making jokes, and actual helpful advice.

  • AdaAEnglish
    15·
    2 years ago

    What am I missing? It’s pretty clearly a bit of dark humour about the missing submarine

    • dystop@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      17·
      2 years ago

      In responses within the thread, the OP actually sounds like they have a plan they intend to go through.

      Regardless of whether this is genuine or not, the responses are hilarious (and interesting).

    • the_itsb (she/her)@lemmy.worldEnglish
      4·
      2 years ago

      I love dark humor and I have to - regretfully!! - confess that I do not get it. What?? How is someone wanting to not poop for days related to the submarine? Is it just that they didn’t have a bathroom on board because they didn’t anticipate being gone that long?

      I am genuinely so sorry to ask! I know explaining kills the joke, and I don’t mind if you don’t answer because you don’t want to kill it, I’m okay with not getting it.

      • AdaAEnglish
        7·
        2 years ago

        I mean, it was dark humour, but as I read it, the comment was about those people trying to survive on that tiny sub for several days before they could be rescued, with no extra food, no toilet and no space.

  • LollerCorleone@kbin.social
    9·
    2 years ago

    At this rate online tabloid writers are going to start frequenting kbin and Lemmy for content soon, like they do with Reddit lol

    • Kettlepants@lemm.ee
      3·
      2 years ago

      After keeping it in their guts for three days, they’ll probably need a poop knife to get it down the toilet.

  • fatboy93@lemm.ee
    3·
    2 years ago

    I’m not sure if the post was in response to something in 196 community or if it got screenshotted there.

    Either way was a funny take on the submarine situation, i suppose

    • livus@kbin.social
      2·
      2 years ago

      I don’t think the original OP had the submarine in mind. They said they were going to do a lot of walking.

      • jherazob@kbin.social
        2·
        2 years ago

        A meme community, with the main rule being that every time you visit it you must post a meme, therefore they have a big volume of meme content posted