- cross-posted to:
- exmormon@lemmy.world
- cross-posted to:
- exmormon@lemmy.world
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Nah. They’re shopping for a third.
More specifically, a handmaid.
What type of… handjobs?
The kind of jobs where you use your hands to do all of their housework for them for free while bearing the husband’s children.
It’s not a sin if you keep your grip still while a third bounces on the bed.
The classic Provo soak+jump hump
…may the lord open
Blessed be the fruit.
Nah, they’re Mormons. They’re actually this crazy
Spencer definitely wants to film his wife being nailed by another man
He wants to be the one to jump on the bed.
We can only assume that if soaking isn’t premarital sex, then it can’t be extramarital sex either.
Good for Spencer.
Maybe Spencer wants her to film him getting the nailing
hey bi switch vers people exist yannow
That’s fine…but Spencer’s wife is probably in the dark. Because he doesn’t accept himself
I’ll go to your church, you come to my orgy. Fair is fair, right?
Imagine the uproar if you went to a church and said “you’re so prudish, you need to fuck more, come to Tinder.”
Joseph Smith: “No need to make them exclusive.”
Oh sweet summer child.
The church IS the orgy. Now here, have some Kool aid, we’re going to see the face of God together.
Liar, this is Flavor Aid.
Ah yes because Jesus was known for his condescending, judgmental attitudes against others.
Can bukake be used as a baptism if it happens in a church?
Now there’s a brand new sentence (probably)
nah I bet you could find a dozen death metal bands with that as the lyrics
Thank you, Internet.
The church I grew up believed in immersion, not sprinkling. It’s not a no, but it’s gonna be more difficult.
Logistical problems aside, if it’s a non-Newtonian fluid, it’s going to be an issue.
We’ll deal with them walking on it if and when it happens
I am church contracted cum supplier, noseplugs sold separately
What the fuck
Well it’s obvious Becca wants to open up and be filled with the Holy Spirit, and that got me thinking.
Let’s face it, that question has probably been at least thought of by Catholic priests before.
If I saw this in the wild, I’d immediately hire the most attractive single person I could find to reply to this ad, go to church with them, and low-key try to have sex with either/both of them on the side
my partner and I did some butthole fingering at midnight up against a church the year we started dating
we’ve been together for 13 years
thank you jesus
My first time was while vandalizing a church. Yeah it was pretty great. Be this couple’s unicorn.
It’s called the loophole!
If the loophole works it means God is okay with gay sex
Why do you think he put the prostate up there? 🤭
The sound like the second most insufferable couple ever, right after the couple that is going through a very public breakup right now.
Would. Both of them.
The only correct response
“Come with us”
But you guys will put out after Church, right?
During.
They did don some crazy underwear in anticipation of the event. Also, polyamory is definitely on the table if they’re true to their founder’s beliefs and actions.
Don’t sully polyamory with the misogyny that is polygamy. They want multiple wives to have multiple women to control
I don’t think polygamy has to be misogynistic, although I agree that’s the way its been overwhelmingly applied throughout recorded history. It could hypothetically be misandrist if power dynamics had the opposite gender polarity. I think the core issue is the power imbalance being expressed in the construction of a harem. Anyway, I think of polyamory as the broad term and polygamy as an unfortunate subset of it, designed to legally and unilaterally enforce an inequitable and exploitive type of polyamorous relationship by members of one gender against the members of another. That’s a pretty broad generalization of gender, sex, and orientation dynamics, but I’m not an expert in the field. I assume there’s still some kind of conventional, ontological hierarchy with corresponding terminology. I think that’s what I was reaching for.
It’s about the term. Polyamory and Polygamy could basically mean the same thing if polygamy wasn’t already having heavy ties to a man controlling a harem of women.
Yeah, connotation and context are important.
i dont care if you call him “little extra jesus”, spencer, PUT HIM AWAY IN CHURCH
Disgusting.
I’ve got nothing against their kind per se, but do they have to shove it down our throats?
Kinda. The most powerful, fastest growing and largest religions seem to depend on aggressive proselytizing.
Cum with us!
No thanks, Satan gave me a good deal for mine.
The problem is they are Mormon so they can’t save your soul
I don’t know. There’s got to be at least one decent Morman cobbler.
Cobblers deal with soles not souls
I feel like there’s got to be at least one cobbler with an active spiritual life.
Meh, they are mediocre pastry chefs. Their venison stews are pretty good, though.
