🎵 Every day is exactly the same. 🎵
There is no love here and there is no pain.
I retired in January, and I’m having this issue to a point it feels insane. The other night I got undressed for bed and was dumbfounded when I saw that the hamper I was tossing my clothes into was otherwise empty. My brain just could not accept that I was at the end of the same day that featured doing laundry earlier. That had to be at least the day before. But I’ve had other things that were the opposite: didn’t I just run the dishwasher? No, that was a week ago.
I have no time cues. Trash day is about the only think that happens on a regular schedule. Some days I’m busy and they go quicker. Some days are mostly reading or whatever, and they go on forever. After 40 years of getting up and going to work, with certain things happening certain days, it feels pretty surreal.
I’ve started writing down hour by hour day plan, setting up timers and alarms on my phone and even keep a desk clock on my table and I still fuckin lose track of time and waste it on my phone and shit instead of getting things done. The first thing I’m gonna do once I get a job is find a psychiatrist and get medicated for adhd, I hate living life with no motivation to do anything and in a constant state of unfulfilled distractions.
I have two modes; taking weeks to reply and sending a paragraph in response seconds after you hit send.
With my 1-2 combo of ADHD making me extremely easily distractible and prone to lose track of time along with social anxiety making me second guess everything, it’s frankly a wonder that I’ve ever replied to anything!
I feel this so hard. Is it happening to everybody else, too?
Time is a two dimensional force. One axis represents “time” as we commonly experience. The other represents the amount of starch in my stomach. Consumption of potatoes (especially fried potatoes) creates a divergence point into multiple timelines. This is why I was late to my meeting this morning.
I’ll save this for when that special day comes around 😅
