As a parent, if my kid did that, I’d likely side with the neighbour. I would put it (very loosely) in the category of “natural consequence” punishments.
It fits the crime, it discourages the crime, it forces empathy with the cat, and it does no real harm.
This is my favorite answer. I’d argue that he got less than the natural consequences of his actions. In nature, when one assaults another, even with something as harmless as water, it’s usually reasonable to interpret it as a threat, the response to which is usually violence. That kid is lucky he didn’t get a face full of claws. I’ve gotten a lot worse from gently touching cats that, as it turned out, didn’t want to be touched. Boundaries are important.
Natural consequences doesn’t mean “law of the jungle” here. It just means linking cause and effect in a proportionate manner.
I tend to use a lot of “natural consequence parenting”. Basically, the response should flow from the cause. If you throw water over your friend, you can’t then complain if they throw water over you. You learn that, while it’s fun when expected, it can be deeply unpleasant when unexpected.
It’s a lot more effective than random generic punishments. The trick is shielding them from excessive results, while allowing proportional ones to play out. E.g. swinging on a chair will get a warning, but often not stopped. When they fall, there’s an “I told you so” before/with the cuddle. If there is a risk of a more serious injury however, e.g. the corner of a table where their head may hit, then I step in and stop things.
I don’t have kids but this is pretty much how my dad raised me. It made me really respect when he gave me a hard no for something, it meant “no really the risk majorly outweighs the reward” and even if I didn’t understand it at the time I trusted it. I got a lot of I told you so after varying seriousness of injuries lol. Eventually I learned that the soft warning meant I was going to have a lot of fun but I needed to be ready for if it went sideways. Now I’ve got a pretty healthy sense of my own limits and when to start gauging risk/reward
That’s basically the goal I’m aiming for. It’s also worth remembering to always give an (age appropriate) explanation with the “no”. If you’re using a hard no, then there is something they don’t yet understand. Explaining it lets them integrate that knowledge into their future risk management.
The only downside is their confidence is high enough to terrify me! The job of containing and shaping that confidence, without damaging it gives me plenty of grey hairs.
As a native social media pedant, I’d just like to take a moment to split hairs and point out that’s the literal definition of that phrase.
With all that said, I’m glad you’ve taken that approach. They’re very lucky to have you. I wish I could’ve had more adults like that in my life as a child. Here’s to you and your contribution to supporting the next generation. May they pass on those values, too.
That’s why I clarified. There’s 2 ways to read the phrase, one a lot harsher than the other.
It seems to be working well. It also results in me being surprised a lot of the time. I’m ready to deal with a scuffed knee, or a bruised ego. Instead they either get back up and try again, or just pull it off. At that point I need to mentally correct for their new capabilities.
The key thing is, I’m not looking after a small pet, I’m training a future adult. They need to both instinctively understand how the world works, while packing as much awesomeness and magic into the formative years as possible. Letting them learn and practice is a big part of that.
It’s not really about the proportion. The rest you have right. Things (good or bad) may happen as a result of your behavior (good or bad). Those things are natural consequences. We talk about it a lot in the context of punishing behavior, but natural consequences can also reinforce behavior. Of course, if we design those consequences, they’re no longer natural.
I think it depends a bit on where the cat is. If my cat is in somebody’s yard and the owner does not like it, it’s perfectly fine to spray my cat with water. In fact I do the same to my neighbours cat to prevent cat fights. If my cat is on neutral territory, I would be more pissed.
Agreed, there are 1001 context points that could change things around, one way, or the other.
I like that approach. But when the parent only has their kid’s half of the story, it’s understandable why they would be pissed. I think most of us would be. Why did they do that to my kid? I’d want answers amd I wouldn’t be happy about it.
I suspect most kids who would throw water at a cat like that would not be very good liars about it. Also, adults tend not to dump water on kids for no reason. I would definitely take the time to pick apart what happened, before going full papa bear mode.
I might be pissed, but my instinct would be to find out who I should be pissed at first, before going on the war path.
Many people are not like that.
Unfortunately so. I know I’m slightly weirdly wired.
I agree with you personal. I meant more that people are irrational and if dad comes out back and the kid is soaked and crying, the kids most likely going to say idk she did this to me for no reason
My neighbors daughter had one of those water guns. I told her if she shoots at me, I’ll get the hose and retaliate. She grinned, shot at me, and ran away laughing.
I talked to her dad, he nodded, and when she came back for more mischief, she got wet.
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Like, I agree with the tit for tat. But don’t let your cat outside.
Who tf gets a pet cat and doesn’t let it outside? If you don’t have space for a cat don’t get one.
cats destroy native wildlife… at least in australia, it’s a huge problem
https://invasives.org.au/our-work/feral-animals/cats-in-australia/
(whilst this article references feral cats, there’s obviously minimal difference between feral cats and roaming house cats as far as wildlife destruction goes)
People with coyotes for neighbours.
I’m not gonna shame people for outdoor cats… but you’re being a little obtuse here.
usdefaultism
huh? I’m not from the us?
Aren’t coyotes a us thing?
Only in dog whistles mate. Coyotes live all over north america.
https://urbancoyoteresearch.com/coyote-info/north-american-distribution
Sry my bad then, I’m from Europe I did not know this.
If it was funny to do it to the Cat… It was hilarious doing it to the kid.
Can confirm.
I have a robot that clears snow on my driveway (it’s a diy build,). One winter, we were having problems with a couple teenage boys chucking snowballs at cars.
Their dads conspired to teach them a lesson.
They recruited me and S5-SY (the robot, pronounced “Sassy”,).
So they played some mind games to get the kids to think it was their idea to record themselves-live- chucking snowballs at the “defenseless” robot.
In the video, the robot turned to face them, drove itself into the snow bank and turned on its sweeper to give them the worst white wash of their lives.
I’m sorry, you can’t just say “I built a robot that clears snow”, like it’s no big deal! Do you have more details? Also, please link the video of it blizzarding the teens!
I don’t have the video (and wouldn’t link other people’s kids anyhow.), sorry.
In any case, I’d drop a how-to, except that it’s actually rather kludgey. just getting a driveway dialed in took about two weeks. (movement is largely dead reckoning in similar manner to using an FDM printer in relative mode.)
her working-side is a snow sweeper brush- you can buy replacement brushes online and not the whole snow sweeper, for the record. the big drum-shaped brushes. she uses a hub-mounted motor to drive that and her two driving wheels. a couple car batteries and and her control box provide counterbalance and mass (for traction,) while her 3rd wheel is a caster wheel.
she uses an inductive charger in a cradle, with everything basically sealed in a water proof enclosure/chasis that was 3d printed.
there’s a base station that’s mounted high up under the garage’s eaves that has a camera deciding when it’s time to go out. (she struggles with heavy, wet, snow, but this gets compensated for by going out more often when it’s warmer. the base station also provides localization and object avoidance.
building was simple enough. I’ve a giant home-build 3d printer, PETG works, Polycarb is better if you can afford it. For sealing the enclosures, I made my own silicone rubber gaskets using silicone caulk and aquarium tubing (force the caulk into the tubing using the caulking gun. if you want it hollow, use an air compressor blower nozzle to blow out the tubing after it’s full, if you want it solid, don’t, but after it’s cured in the tubing, use the blower nozzle to get it out, either way.)
the other thing to consider is the sweeper arm. It can just be set rigidly for simplicity (and that’s a 100% valid and probably smart choice to make…) or if you add the ability to extend on both sides, you can give the brush a cant so it pushes the snow to one side or the other… reducing how many trails you leave.
Some flashy lights are important (and raised up so people can see them in cars!)
Oh. also. she hums like R2D2 when she’s working.
Is the lesson “why throw snowballs at cars when you could be having a snowball fight with a robot instead?”
actually, I’m pretty sure the lesson they learned was they got more of the attention they wanted when they were funny rather than jerks.
Their friends thought the were in on it and were laughing. not sure how they passed that off, since their faces were 1 part confusion 1 part shock and 2 parts “fuck that’s cold”
That the risk you take with an outdoor cat. It’s not even like water is harmful to it.
I used to have an outdoor cat and if that happened I would have shrugged it off and expected him not to go there again.
That’s the risk you take with an outdoor brat. It’s not even like water is harmful to it.
I used to have an outdoor brat and if that happened I would have shrugged it off and expected him not to go there again.
Both takes are 100% correct
I mean… yeah
Oh my god i wrote mine after you wrote yours.
Yours is way better. Kudos.
“Nobody got hurt, just LET ASSHOLE BE ASSHOLES! MUH FREEDUMS!”
Nah, I’m a firm believer in ‘Fuck around and Find out’
That the risk you take
Well someone might just hit your car, that’s the risk you take by driving, nobody got hurt, they shouldn’t be held accountable. I would have shrugged it off and started taking the bus.
This is fun, we can remove all accountability from everything that’s not harming someone directly!
Well, you don’t have to let your cat go outside. In fact is kind of reckless to do so.
Well, you don’t have to drive it’s kind of reckless to do that too.
It’s cruelty. Can we chuck water over you?
I think calling a splash of water from some dumb child “cruelty” delegitimizes actual cruelty. It’s shit behavior for sure, but don’t compare it to someone who tortures animals for fun.
They didn’t compare it. You are putting words in peoples mouths now.
Only if I am walking on your fence
But why is it a problem if it’s not doing you any harm?
I am not saying it’s something you should do if someone walks on peoples fences.
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It’s the risk you take letting your kid go outside. It’s not even like water is harmful to it.
I used to have a kid that went outside and if thst happened I would have shrugged it off and expected him to not go there anymore.
If my kid did that, I’d let you splash them again.
Seriously my first thought if I saw this all occurring and my kid came complaining to me about it is I’d just say “well this is how the cat feels”
Truly cannot conceive of any other appropriate response. My kid’s an asshole sometimes, better he get gentle lessons now.
If my neighbor did ANYTHING to my pets, they’d be lucky to only get sprayed with water.
I could take shit from people to some extent but if it is my pets, I am putting a smile on that face
I personally can take all kinds of shit because I know my limits. As my pets sworn caretaker I have to do everything in my power to protect them from physical and mental stress, so i won’t let them take any abuse from anyone. Frankly my pets rank higher than a lot of humans in my life and are treated accordingly, I think a lot of people feel that way tbh.
Yeah but with a ten year old, talk to their parents first. You want to drench a child without their consent? Okay but they had better be in an environment that can explain to them that this is a tit for tat type thing. A ten year old doesn’t understand a lot of things and it’s not up to the child to perform what we expect them to. Do they need to be corrected, yes. Does doing it so callously benefit anyone? Only a bully. There’s a huge difference between constructive discipline and just straight up punishment. It takes an adult to know the difference.
Ten-year-olds understand quite a lot of things. They don’t always think before they act, but they would absolutely understand this object lesson.
It’s water. It’s not harmful. Getting splashed with water is most ten-year-olds’ idea of a good time in most scenarios.
Is this the most constructive way to go about teaching a kid how to behave properly? No.
Is this going to scar the average kid for life? Also no.
At age ten I was coding in Assembly on my C64 and build radio controlled model airplanes without assistance from an adult… so I guess in this case the ten year old should have a pretty clear understanding of his action and the consequences. And to be honest: What did happen? He got wet. Booo-hoo what a tragedy! Would he have gotten a good spanking (would perhaps have happened when I was this age in the 80s), then perhaps I could slightly understand the outrage from his dad.
talk to their parents first
This is key. It’s one thing to stop a child from harassing your pet. If you “teach them a lesson” after the fact without the parents’ permission, there are now two wrongs that need to be dealt with.
Good job making assumptions for your own argument.
i think i still remember where i was the first time i saw this posted
Lucky for me I’m one of today’s 10,000 and have not seen this before.
always my favourite reply, and always my favourite comic. be well, my friend.
Some say the neighor is still pounding on the door. But that kid went in Congress.
yeah, and now he’s albert freaking einstein!
Were you walking with your dinosaur next to Jesus on the beach when the footprints disappeared?
yes.i don’t know if it matters, but i was also wearing sandals with socks on.
What was Jesus wearing?
Nothing at all.
nothing at all
Stupid sexy Jesus.
For me, it was 3rd and Market. It was November 22nd, 1963 at about 1238pm. I was walking past Sal’s Electeonic Emporium when I saw the commotion on the TVs in the display window.
i can only begin to imagine the pandemonium. oh, my god…
We really thought it was about to be World War III.
sad when we found out it was just an old gay ye
Okay, you lost me here. Clearly, I’m not up to date on current events and references.
oh, sorry. so sorry. kanye west made a tweet the other day. that’s all i’ll say. google it, okay?
Date & location please.
18F/CA ;)
18F? Were you born a granny (or old person)?
sorry, force of habit. i’m actually a middle aged dude from canada. (i hope you have a good sense of humour)
it was actually a few days into my first year of college. i remember waking up, seeing it briefly on the news before making my way to school (remember, this was before cell phones and a lot of web stuff). when i got to school, i remember standing just inside the door by the bar watching it all unfold on one of the big, ugly CRT televisions they had mounted in the lobby area. i called my dad, but i don’t remember the conversation. back then i was still a dumb kid in the dial-up internet days, and i was on a big Nostradamus kick. i remember my ex-girlfriend called me up all freaked out because she remembered me talking to her about some shit i read that sounded a lot like what happened at the time. (i don’t believe that stuff now, but it was all really freaky as a kid at the time)
It’s fine. Taking at face value you’re supposedly 18 I was remembered of my kids talking about the old days - i.e. 10 year olds talking about stuff merely 2 years ago (Ok to them that’s like a is decade to us). So that granny comment was tongue in cheek as well… :-)
Idk,
Shouting “Hey, don’t do that” loud and clear may be more effective.
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kid may have thought they where alone and will get jumped from getting caught.
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May alert the parents their kid is up to mischief.
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Doesn’t potentially start an escalation war with neighbors
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Doesn’t carry the small risk of the child falling or otherwise getting hurt with you as an easy blame.
Think of it like this: Does the kid now understand the “evil” of their actions to try be better next time. Or will they feel vindicated by their parents support against your “evil”
You’re right, but this is fuck around and find out territory. I would want the escalation to make it clear where I stand with my cat.
You’re probably in the right here, but at least they’ll know what it’s like to be assaulted with water.
“Teach the bully to be more careful before they torment animals.”
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I’ll take things that never happened for 200$
Yes, no 10 year-old ever threw water at a cat.
Dollars two hundred.
I like to imagine she had the basin of water handy in that moment.
plot twist: kids a radical ecologist, keep ya cat indoors.
I agree with the “don’t be shitty to animals” sentiment, but I’m honestly a little surprised no one else has bothered to consider how shitty that cat might be. If it was always shitting in your yard, picking fights your cat or dog, using your bird feeder as a cat feeder, and tearing up your flower beds, then a cup of water is a pretty benign deterrent that still has a chance of being effective.
If they’re caught in the act, sure. A great cat training tool is a spray bottle of water. But from the story it sounds like the cat wasn’t doing anything at the time, so even if it is a nuisance animal, no correlation is made with an act and a punishment. Not true on the kid, he got something right when he did his malicious action, so if he has any intelligence he might connect the two and not do it again.
Lol minus the birdfeeder thing you just described dogs.
Cats bury their shit, tend to avoid dogs / fights with bigger animals, and I’ve never seen one dig up a flowerbed.
Exactly. There are endangered birds and amphibians who call my garden home. I do not want cats going in there and killing them for sport.
Get a catio! Don’t destroy native wildlife.
How DARE you interact with my poor, helpless cat, who I lovingly toss outside to slaughter songbirds, pick up parasites, and maybe get flattened by a car. I don’t generally give a single solitary shit what happens to it out there, but this splash of water is TOO FAR.
Edit:
Please stop letting your cat out. It’s not good for your cat or the local wildlife.
https://daily.jstor.org/environmental-danger-outdoor-cats/
https://www.bbc.com/news/scienceenvironment-21236690p
I think most people just have no idea how terrible outdoor cats are for native wildlife. It should be illegal, just like how you can’t let your dog wander around freely.
On one side, I like to prank cats. on the other, I hate other peoples children.
blocked, mauuu
We’ve a lot of cats coming through the garden. I wouldn’t mind if not for my dog, who does and goes insane when she spots a cat. So I’ve been thinking about getting a super soaker to chase them away. I think that’s pretty harmless, and perhaps they learn to skip our garden after a while… What do you lot think?
I think they taunt you by shitting in your flowerbeds while you’re not looking.
I know they do!
As a cat owner I approve using a a super soaker. I use a mini-soaker on my own cats in rare cases (being bengals they love water but despise being sprayed) - they probably catch on quickly and should bolt when they see you reaching for it soon.
That being said throwing a whole cup at a cat or making it soaking wet is not ok.
Thanks 🙂 I don’t intend to use one of those canon sized ones, I was thinking a mini like you said. Just a little squirt should do the trick 😇
Get a cat from your local shelter. Take them to the shelter to get spayed or neutered and adopted.
I don’t think kidnapping someone’s cat is going to solve anything
If they’re collared or chipped they can be returned to their irresponsible owners, and if the owner is so irresponsible they their unfixed uncollared cat is roaming freely then good riddance.
Well I’m pretty sure I responded to a comment about catching cats going through your garden. I’m talking about normal cats, not strays. Most people fix them or at least that’s what it seems like.
ESH. Kid shouldn’t have done it, but also the lady shouldn’t let the cat outside
I just assumed she might be British due to spelling/tone. Cats have been around here for about 1,600 years and it’s considered fairly normal to let them out.
