They can fuck right off. Especially on International Asexuality day.

When I first realized I was ace, I brought it up to my therapist at the time because I was having so many issues in my relationships around sex and I wanted help exploring it. She laughed at me, and told me there was no way I was asexual because I had been in sexual relationships. I never even got the chance to talk about how suicidal I felt every single time I had sex. I know some of that ideation is because I never initiated, and was often blindsided by it, which should have been an indication to her that I am ace.

About six years later I had a more complete diagnostic appointment, and one of the things I was diagnosed with is a sensory disorder. I knew that was coming because I’m extremely sensitive to some things like sound or scent, but the doctor explained that it can affect me in other ways such that I might have an extreme emotional imbalance after an intense sensory event. The sudden drop off of sensory input, and the chasm that builds as the other person withdraws is like a one-two punch. Here I’ve gone through something that is extremely uncomfortable in many ways for someone else, and they don’t have a clue or care that I’m drowning in despair afterwards.

Yeah, I could probably do some therapy about that last bit. But it won’t change the fact that I have no interest in the act in the first place, and it’s a lot easier to be in a relationship with someone who isn’t hurt that you don’t want to mix bodily fluids.

Putting a spoiler because fuck people’s uninformed opinions on what can be “cured” but if you want to know where they are coming from heres the tldr

These people can fuck off, how is it anyone else’s business if someone else doesn’t want to have sex with and isn’t sexually attracted to other people? Like for real, other people’s sex lives or lack there of is not any of your business. So this rhetoric that asexuality should be cured, or talking about them “finding the right person” shouldn’t even be a thing.