• Jyek@sh.itjust.works
    55·
    9 days ago

    Girls have a super power they can use to live rent free in any guy’s head pretty much eternally. All they need to do is catch them off guard with a compliment.

    A guy will keep a shirt until it literally disintegrates if one time a girl said “that color looks good on you.” Pretty much every guy that wears a particular cologne, wears that cologne because at some point a girl said he smelled nice. It’s not even a horny brain thing I don’t think. It’s just that guys get so few compliments on their appearance that every single one is massively precious to them.

    • aeshna_cyanea@lemm.eeEnglish
      17·
      9 days ago

      girls would do this more often but there’s always the (justified tbh) fear that the guy will take it the wrong way and get weird about it :(

      • ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.worldEnglish
        8·
        9 days ago

        It’s absolutely justified fear. For every one guy who will just take it as a sweet compliment, there are ten guys who will think “she wants the D!”

      • QuantumSparkles@sh.itjust.works
        6·
        9 days ago

        It goes both ways I think too. Guys wouldn’t obsess over the idea that a single compliment might be flirting if they were more used to compliments in general from both sexes. On the other hand some guys are so afraid of misreading a compliment or normal friendliness that they can’t tell when someone actually is flirting. I sort of think there need to be more voices out there meant to speak directly to men and masc people about social literacy that aren’t trying to turn them into hateful, violent, incel republicans.

        • nylo@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
          1·
          7 days ago

          hard agree, it’s a tragedy that toxic masculinity has taken over that space. I’m not the target audience being nb but I have a lot of respect for the Speeed yt channel for doing exactly that.

    • Aviandelight @mander.xyz
      8·
      9 days ago

      I’ve always bought my husband red shirts because I think he looks good in a bold red color. About 17 years of marriage before he finally told me he doesn’t really care for the color, that he just wants to look good for me.

  • idiomaddict@lemmy.world
    52·
    10 days ago

    I (afab) intentionally give my male friends and coworkers lots of non sexual compliments, and it’s been a mixed bag for people I don’t know well. I genuinely love men’s business wear, so I frequently go for a comment about what they’re wearing (think “I like your shirt” or “that’s a cool pattern,” not “that shirt makes your eyes pop” or “you look sexy in that shirt”), and about a third of the time, they still seem to think I’m coming on to them. Since I got married and wear my wedding ring, that’s down to about a quarter.

  • BillibusMaximus@sh.itjust.works
    46·
    10 days ago

    In 1998, the young lady working the cash register at the taco bell near where I worked told me I have really pretty eyes. So I have that going for me, which is nice.

    • Empricorn@feddit.nlEnglish
      6·
      10 days ago

      The same thing happened to me, only it was at a Carl’s Jr! Rejoice, for we have pretty eyes! (At least according to 2 random fast-food workers)

  • blady_blah@lemmy.world
    33·
    10 days ago

    It’s crazy how few times in an average man’s life he gets real compliments on clothing or looks. It happens so rarely most of us can tell you about the times even when they’re 20 years ago.

    • Glytch@lemmy.world
      9·
      10 days ago

      Speaking from first hand experience: try growing a handlebar mustache (if you can). If you groom it well you will get complimented all the time. I’m a fairly generic looking guy without the stache, and almost never got complimented on my looks before I grew it.

      • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
        3·
        10 days ago

        Similarly if you grow a John brown beard but condition it that worked for me as a 18 year old but that was 12 years ago so ymmv. Also admittedly I was apparently hot

        Muttonstache also works

    • other_cat@lemmy.zipEnglish
      3·
      9 days ago

      I try to be mindful of this (I compliment people fairly frequently when I’m out of the house), and I still find that I don’t really ‘notice’ men as much as women (I am asexual, so it is not an attraction thing either.) I think it’s because a lot of women’s clothing is varied, lots of different and interesting patterns and color combinations and cuts and styles. Men’s fashion tends to be pretty… similar? The times I remember noticing and complimenting men has usually been when they’ve worn a t-shirt with an anime or something I like on it. One time I saw a guy with these really cool, vibrant sleeve tattoos too and I mentioned how much I like those.

      Not that I’m saying it’s men’s faults–men’s casual fashion seems to really stake itself on being ‘plain’ and ‘simple’. All the t-shirts look the same, just in different solid colors. Plain jeans are plain jeans. Cargo shorts are cargo shorts. It’s easy to let your eyes sort of slide past it without registering much. Almost like social camouflage!

      My husband wears a lot of 90s nostalgia t-shirts and he gets compliments on them!

      I’m pretty average looking but I have a cool looking cloak and I get a compliment literally every time I wear it because it pops. It’s different.

      • ZorsithEnglish
        2·
        9 days ago

        As a wearer of nerdy t-shirts, i appreciate you! 😁

    • SnortsGarlicPowder@lemmy.zipEnglish
      2·
      10 days ago

      2 I have had 2 on the exact same shirt. I have no idea where that shirt is and it is my favourite shirt because of those compliments.

    • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
      2·
      10 days ago

      And honestly, I’m happier that way. The less I’m noticed, the happier I am, generally speaking. I’m an introvert and feel obligated to spend some “social energy” whenever a random stranger says something to me. They might compliment my kid or ask about something I’m wearing or whatever, and I need to respond to that in some socially appropriate form.

      I’m not socially anxious or awkward or anything, I just don’t like putting in the effort. So I generally avoid the things that would lead to random social interaction.

  • GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
    24·
    10 days ago

    I’ve received two compliments from women out of the blue in my life. The first time was when a coworker told me i had a nice voice and should do voice acting for anime. That was 2006.

    The second was another coworker said “at least you’re cute” to some offhand joke i made. That was 2018.

    At that rate, I expect another nice comment around 2032 or so.

    • x00z@lemmy.worldEnglish
      11·
      10 days ago

      The data indicates 12 years which would be 2030.

      That’s a lot more optimistic!

      • qarbone@lemmy.worldEnglish
        7·
        10 days ago

        It’s austerity now, so we can probably expect a bit of deflation on the compliment market, pushing back projected compliment growth rates.

        • x00z@lemmy.worldEnglish
          3·
          10 days ago

          In my projections I have substituted the loss in volume with AI bots and OF girls.

    • Hadriscus@lemm.ee
      2·
      9 days ago

      I had a girl compliment my voice too ! I was maybe 17, had her on the phone, she was a friend’s friend. Then we met and she ostensibly lost all her excitement

      • Malfeasant@lemm.ee
        2·
        8 days ago

        Many years ago, my girlfriend’s grandma said I had a good voice for radio. I misheard her, thought she said a good face for radio. I didn’t react badly at the time, because being polite and all, but I didn’t like her grandma for a while. Then it came out what she had really said, girlfriend had a big laugh. I don’t remember what grandma thought of it, I was a little too embarrassed to have any attention to spare…

  • gmtom@lemmy.world
    23·
    10 days ago

    I don’t remember basically anyone from my secondary schoold other than my 4 close freinds and this one girl that randomly asked me for a hug one day, said I give really good hugs, then basically never spoke to me again.

    • RedAggroBest@lemmy.world
      8·
      10 days ago

      I feel that pain. It’s like that “worst she can do is say no” thing. When I was 12 my friends were joking about who another friend should “date” (ofc in the capacity that 12yos manage that) and someone JOKINGLY suggested me, I even laughed along for a second. Her answer, rather than laughing along or something, was a deadpan “eww”. That fucked my confidence for years

      • Hadriscus@lemm.ee
        1·
        9 days ago

        Shit, I’m sorry. I have had a similar experience at around 7yo that imbalanced my relationships to others for the next 25 years. I’m pulling out of it now by sheer force of will and analysis. Wish you the best,

      • WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world
        1·
        9 days ago

        Once a group of us were playing spin the bottle and it landed on me and the girl said eww, he’s like my brother or whatever and then spun again and the guy it landed on got a double bj from her and her friend. I felt sad at the time, especially since we were all camping so we could hear them in the tents. I’m still friends with those girls (now grown women.) Your story reminded me of that and I haven’t thought of it in 20 years.

  • ZorsithEnglish
    18·
    10 days ago

    I’ve received a lot of compliments on my voice in life, Nicknames for it throughout school; i didn’t have a period of voice cracking, literally woke up one day and my voice was different (scared the shit out of my parents that morning).

    I hate my voice 🙃

      • azalty@jlai.luEnglish
        2·
        9 days ago

        I feel like I prefer the voice I hear in my head than the voice I hear when I record myself :(

        The voices in my head 👀

  • Lv_InSaNe_vL@lemmy.world
    17·
    10 days ago

    One time a buddy and I were out drinking and on our way out he ran into a childhood friend. So while they were catching up I was just leaning against a table and listening to their conversation and people watching.

    A pretty attractive woman came up to me, looked me dead in the eyes, and said “you’d be more attractive if you had some self-confidence”, and then walked out of the bar.

    I think about that every day. Because I have never in my life been told I need “more confidence” (actually, it’s usually the opposite haha).

    • zaphod@sopuli.xyz
      9·
      9 days ago

      Maybe she wanted you to approach her, you ignored her “signals” and the only reason that could be, at least from her point of view, was that you lacked confidence.

      • Lv_InSaNe_vL@lemmy.world
        4·
        9 days ago

        Yeah I assumed so. It was a few years ago so we probably talked for a bit at the bar (I am not allowed to go get drinks by myself cause I’ll end up talking to strangers for 45 mins haha) but I don’t remember her from any other point in the night.

        Idk it was just really strange haha

    • Isthisreddit@lemmy.worldEnglish
      3·
      9 days ago

      Shit like that, I’d probably not read too much into it. Some girls just like to fuck with people (people have been trolling before trolling was an internet term). She probably left laughing how she fucked with your head (yeah, some beautiful girls are fucking deeply ugly on the inside, and vice versa)

    • sit@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
      3·
      10 days ago

      Maybe the standard issue coloured 4chan post text is the greentext we made along the way.

  • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
    16·
    10 days ago

    I must be a heck of a lot more “attractive,” than I think I am. I’m male, and 44 y/o. I get a random compliment from strangers about once every month or two.

  • jaschen@lemm.ee
    15·
    9 days ago

    Everytime the cashier flips the tablet over before a tip, they say a compliment. I always tip more than I usually do.

  • Agent641@lemmy.world
    15·
    9 days ago

    “You smell so nice” - a gay female co-worker. I was wearing a new cologne that I purchased for myself. It was very expensive so I’m glad I chose well