don’t go to unpaid work functions
I got chewed out for not going to a company bowling party once because I was working that night and asked for overtime if I went. I was doing security patrols which in that job meant 12-hour overnight shifts that were mostly driving, and I refused to lose 3 hours of sleep so I could go out before work. The HR lady or whatever she was couldn’t understand why I refused to go even though she so thoughtfully planned it outside of work hours. Oh, forgot to mention, she and the other admin people were on the clock of course, just not us night shifters.
that is shitty and should be pointed out to her if she genuinely didn’t know
Yeah, I was honest, I assume she was just one of those people who has never had to work long or unusual hours. A lot of people can’t wrap their heads around the fact that night shift workers need to sleep during the day, and that a few hours to hang out in the afternoon at the end of an 8h shift is very different to that same few hours before a 12h overnight.
That said, she was awful to deal with, so maybe she just didn’t care. All of the management was. My direct manager at one point was fired because his wife (definitely not a nepo hire) embezzled half a million over a few years.
Day walkers don’t get it.
And a few hours at the end of an 8 hour shift is already horrible. Every hour is precious if you work full time. Don’t waste it on people you can’t stand.
fuck companies like this
“If I’m not being paid, I’m not coming” is something i make clear with my bosses early on. It doesn’t ingratiate me to mgmt, but i already tried the “team player” route and it’s an investment with no fucking returns.
I’m too old to fuck around. I’m tired of corpo-speak. im only there to get paid, so miss me with that off-hours shit. i have plenty of friends and bossman aint never gonna be one of em.
yep, I think age plays a large role
companies love to abuse the inexperienced
Unless there is free food. Never pass up free food.
there is a food to effort ratio
(quality + cost + favor) / (pain + suffering + people)
Donuts
Check.
Meh I wouldn’t go to an event for donuts unless they’re really fancy. Panera or pizza is a “maybe” bordering on “unlikely”. One department at my workplace caters their optional events with a local fried chicken joint and their meetings have the best turnout because everyone wants that delicious, delicious chicken.
I’m only going if there’s free beer. Like, real, actual beer. None of that 0% BS.
Wow anon thank you for the illustration
I wasn’t sure what you meant by “plain white t shirt” lolCan you circle it for me? Still having trouble…
Here. I’ve circled in the color white for you. Maybe it’s helpful imagining a shirt with that color
i would definitely have laughed at that.
Everyone is now blankly staring at you.
Yeah, that would have been my cue to leave and never hang out with those people outside of work ever again.
I’m at my first office job. A lot of people seem to eminate of the same forced positivity I saw during college. I don’t want to isolate myself, but I can’t see myself making connections.
Start signing your emails with “Kindest regards,”
Everyone knows that such people are not to be trifled with. It’s the office job equivalent of killing an inmate in the prison yard on your first day.
“Thank you for all you do.” Is my go to.
I regularly beef with the kindest regards lady. She’s a lazy ass lol
Hey, it beats a “With purpose,”
Biggest pains in the ass in the world.
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Just keep telling people that you’re swamped. “Aw man I wish I could go but I’m swamped. Thanks for inviting me though!” I’ve been in my corpo job for two years and have yet to attend any social events, except when catered and then I just sneak in and grab a plate then bail.
Anon used the word ‘bro’ when they should have used the word ‘friend’ and cupped the balls of their white shirt brother. Also, that’s a t-shirt not a shirt, no wonder anon disappoints everyone
It’s very offensive when people try to talk to me without cupping my balls first. Politeness is dead!
You never needed a friend in me before. But now you come to me and you say “Empricorn, nice t-shirt.” But you don’t show me respect. You don’t offer friendship. You didn’t even think to cup my balls."
“Gabagool!” Or something, idk. Sorry, I haven’t watched The Godfather yet…
It’s not required watching but it’s pretty good. Holds up better than a lot of old films! If you like part I, part II is great (actually my favorite).
Fun fact: when you see Marlon Brando ‘searching for words’ in a scene, its not always “acting”. He often forgot his lines and had crew members standing around with lines written on signs to help him remember
T-shirts are a sub-set of Shirts in general.
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found the middling-manager in HR that set the whole thing up to begin with.
*below mediocre manager.
Even the average HR person can see a large scale roasting in a work environment would be a disaster.
Yeah it’s a fun concept but maybe the prompt should be more positive, e.g. “draw an emoji of how you’re feeling”?
whoosh The closest thing to a shred of humanity that suggestion had for it was the “roast” bit. Forced positivity is so much worse.
Really whoosh? Suck out my farts.
No thanks, I’ve had enough corpo-nonsense this year. The diesel exhaust from the tow-boat I’m working today is more pleasant.
“He he, that’s a good one, Denise! Got me good! I have to go to the bathroom now, but definitely not to sob in the stall…”
