In the end this ramble will be pretty meaningless until I actually manage to have any actual relationship, cuz its kinda dumb to talk about it never being in one (well technically there was one week long disaster, but that’s not a story for today). Ive got disorders and am well aware of my perception of reality being distorted, which doesn’t mean I actually can recognize these distortions. For some reason, whether those distortions or experience, I consider gay peoples very cool and interesting and it would kinda feel nice to be one of those? I think? Idk, am histrionic, Ive had a history of jokingly flirting with all irl friends regardless of gender, but I did it more for the sport of it than to make it into something serious (don’t do it anymore, realized it was too easy for me to overstep boundaries). Sometimes I get a like on a dating app from a man I would consider really fucking good lookin’, but like, why do they send me a like to never ever respond? I hate dating apps. So yeah, I just wanted to ramble a bit, please yell at me if you mind