my bf is poly and already has a bf, so he doesn’t want to initiate anything with me. he doesn’t wanna call nor hang out, and he always texts very dry. he’s nice, but i don’t feel loved.

I’m not doing well mentally though. my gf already ignores me (she and i are poly too) and i feel like i will die if he breaks up (though i clearly won’t die)

  • vvilld@lemmy.world
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    7 hours ago

    Are you sure you’re really dating? If he doesn’t call, doesn’t want to hang our, doesn’t initiate anything, and is very dry in his texting it sounds like he’s just a distant acquaintance…

  • klemptor@startrek.website
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    11 hours ago

    Is this your ex Sam, who you posted about only one week ago, asking whether it would be a mistake to get back together? And the general consensus was to stay away because he’s clearly not into you?

  • Ziggurat@jlai.lu
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    13 hours ago
    • Already has a BF,

    • Doesn’t want to initiate

    • Doesn’t call

    • Doesn’t hang-out

    It’s not your boyfriend, it’s at best a crush you had a one night stand with him

  • WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works
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    1 day ago

    So this person doesn’t want to call or hang out with you, never initiates anything, doesn’t make you feel loved, and just sends soulless loveless texts like they are sending a work email?

    Sorry to be blunt, but what makes you think this person is your boyfriend?

    • drbollocksOP
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      1 day ago

      well he does but he feels bad bc he has a bf he has been dating longer.

      sometimes he’ll send the occasional heart emojis if i do first

      “They mostly just type like this.

      Hello

      I’m fine, what about you?

      Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t want my boyfriend to be upset.”

      • WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works
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        1 day ago

        Sounds like he’s just using you as his fucktoy.

        Dump this bum. Have some more respect for yourself. You deserve love and respect. If someone is going to be in a poly relationship, everyone in that relationship needs to be OK with it. It sounds like his boyfriend isn’t. If his boyfriend being upset is a reason not to be with you, then you aren’t really in a poly relationship. He’s in a relationship with his boyfriend, and he’s just occasionally cheating on his boyfriend with you. A poly relationship requires that all members be fine with the other members getting together. That is the difference between being poly and being a cheating bastard.

        Dump this bum.

  • TheCriticalMember@aussie.zone
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    24 hours ago

    In what way is he your boyfriend? He doesn’t sound like he is. Poly is really hard, and it’s full of shitty people who use it as a justification for being shitty. Sounds like you need to do a whole bunch of work on yourself right now, and it doesn’t really sound like either of your “partners” are good for you.