my bf is poly and already has a bf, so he doesn’t want to initiate anything with me. he doesn’t wanna call nor hang out, and he always texts very dry. he’s nice, but i don’t feel loved.

I’m not doing well mentally though. my gf already ignores me (she and i are poly too) and i feel like i will die if he breaks up (though i clearly won’t die)

  • WoodScientist@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    42·
    27 天前

    So this person doesn’t want to call or hang out with you, never initiates anything, doesn’t make you feel loved, and just sends soulless loveless texts like they are sending a work email?

    Sorry to be blunt, but what makes you think this person is your boyfriend?

    • drbollocksOPEnglish
      8·
      27 天前

      well he does but he feels bad bc he has a bf he has been dating longer.

      sometimes he’ll send the occasional heart emojis if i do first

      “They mostly just type like this.

      Hello

      I’m fine, what about you?

      Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t want my boyfriend to be upset.”

      • WoodScientist@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
        19·
        27 天前

        Sounds like he’s just using you as his fucktoy.

        Dump this bum. Have some more respect for yourself. You deserve love and respect. If someone is going to be in a poly relationship, everyone in that relationship needs to be OK with it. It sounds like his boyfriend isn’t. If his boyfriend being upset is a reason not to be with you, then you aren’t really in a poly relationship. He’s in a relationship with his boyfriend, and he’s just occasionally cheating on his boyfriend with you. A poly relationship requires that all members be fine with the other members getting together. That is the difference between being poly and being a cheating bastard.

        Dump this bum.

      • jol@discuss.tchncs.de
        3·
        25 天前

        That’s not how poly relationships work. You are a side bitch for when his bf is not around. Please remove yourself from this “relationship” for your sake.

        • drbollocksOPEnglish
          2·
          24 天前

          tysm! we are broken up for now n he said that was ok because he wanted to be with his bf

  • TheCriticalMember@aussie.zoneEnglish
    14·
    27 天前

    In what way is he your boyfriend? He doesn’t sound like he is. Poly is really hard, and it’s full of shitty people who use it as a justification for being shitty. Sounds like you need to do a whole bunch of work on yourself right now, and it doesn’t really sound like either of your “partners” are good for you.

  • vvilld@lemmy.world
    5·
    27 天前

    Are you sure you’re really dating? If he doesn’t call, doesn’t want to hang our, doesn’t initiate anything, and is very dry in his texting it sounds like he’s just a distant acquaintance…

  • Ziggurat@jlai.lu
    4·
    27 天前

    • Already has a BF,

    • Doesn’t want to initiate

    • Doesn’t call

    • Doesn’t hang-out

    It’s not your boyfriend, it’s at best a crush you had a one night stand with him

  • klemptor@startrek.website
    2·
    27 天前

    Is this your ex Sam, who you posted about only one week ago, asking whether it would be a mistake to get back together? And the general consensus was to stay away because he’s clearly not into you?