My friend Amelia has been pretty irritable lately. According to Ana, Amelia is obsessed with her.
Amelia gets upset when someone else is sitting next to Ana. Even if that seat is assigned, Amelia gets mad and tells the other person “Excuse me, that’s my seat”.
Amelia doesn’t like sitting with anyone else unless it’s Ana. If someone gives Amelia a gift, she’ll be like, “nah, you keep it”. If Ana, however, takes the gift and gives it to her, she wants it because it’s from Ana.
If Ana tells her not to do something or mildly criticizes Amelia, she gets upset for the rest of the day.
(She can handle criticism, but not from Ana).
Amelia will sometimes ask to go to the bathroom, but is actually leaving class to go to talk to Ana.
Amelia has been in a bad mood for a while and will get in a feeling where she only wants to talk to and only likes Ana and doesn’t care for anyone else.
Amelia even refused to spend time with her friends because of this, as she doesn’t want to be anywhere without Ana.
I kinda feel worried for them both, and I wonder if Amelia will be able to function well (or if Ana will not be annoyed and be able to have her own life sometimes).
I’d assume this is just a typical crush/attachment, but I’m asking for advice because I want to check in, but I don’t know if that’ll be necessary.
I’m also worried because what’ll happen if Ana’s not there and she’s somewhere else? What if she moves away? Knowing Amelia, she would probably fall into a depression :(
Frankly, having dealt with situations like this before, this level of attachment should be walked away from or cut off. Amelia seemingly needs to get over this and I don’t even know that theres a charitable solution to this where everyone wins. I’ve always governed myself with the philosophy that I should look after myself. This can superficially sound selfish but it’s because I can’t take care of other if I’m not nearing my best. If Amelia is this dependent on Ana, for both of their sakes, I think the tie should be severed or minimized. This sounds cruel, I understand. How does Ana feel? Does she feel burdened by this? If so, it sounds like we have our answer.
Ana is attracted to her is all I know
Look into the concept of codependency. One should never be in a relationship DESPITE their wellbeing.
My friend is going through similar thing. :(
