70% of the worlds surface is covered in water. None of that water is fizzy. Therefore the earth is technically flat…
I’ll be my coat, no need to send the pitchforks.
You’re so wrong!
Only 70% of the Earth is flat.
I’m on part of the remaining 30% and feel flat everyday. Explain that, mainstream media!
If the world is round, why are my tits flat? Checkmate libtards!
I’m not sure where I’m going with this, but…
Prove it?
Banned for being too fun
Good news, ocean acidification is literally the result of the ocean absorbing more CO2, and thus becoming less flat. Bad news, it’s kinda causing a shit ton of animals to die, especially coral.
There are natural mineral springs that make water fizzy. Just saying
Don’t worry. The water might be flat, but we’ve been working on carbonating the air for some time now.
Many people who die “of old age” have an utterly miserable time of it at the end, sometimes for months or years. Medical treatment to keep a person alive when they’ve already lost their faculties irrecoverably can be incredibly cruel.
There’s a reason that longevity research focuses on prolonging healthy life, not just prolonging life processes.
There’s no such thing as dying of old age. Just dying of something where you’re old enough where people go “yeah that tracks” instead of “oh no! so young!”.
Movies lied to me.
Your eyes have “immune privilege” meaning your immune system effectively does not know they exist as it would attack them and make you go blind if it did.
Additional unfun fact, in case the implication goes by anyone; some few folks have discovered exactly how much it sucks when your immune system discovers your eyes and have, indeed, gone blind because of it :(
Meaning, if you ever get a cut in your eye, go to the doctor, or else you’ll lose the eye.
My dog scratched his eye to the point of having an ulcer. Went to the emergency room ASAP 💸
I was in the Army, and stabbed myself in the eye with so. Many. Branches. So much damage.
That was decades ago, and I’m not blind yet… what’s the point at which it becomes a danger?
Actual penetration. When the outside touches anything inside the eye. Something poking the outside really really hard isn’t going to introduce your antibodies to the inside of the eye.
What makes your immune system hate your eyes
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If your immune system discovers your testicles you’ll go blind? Is that what happens if you masturbate too much?
That explains why I started going blind in high school!
There’s tons of carbon frozen in Arctic permafrost. As the planet warms up, the ice melts, dumping more CO2 into the atmosphere and causing a runaway effect.
Yet we can’t runaway from that problem
Not enough profit in it
Not enough short term profit. The long term returns are infinitely greater.
Yeah nobody cares enough about those
There’s also tons of carbon dioxide dissolved in seawater. As the planet warms up, the warmer sea can hold less carbon dioxide, dumping even more CO² into the atmosphere and accelerating the runaway effect.
Statistically speaking, 30 of the dalmatians in the movie 101 Dalmatians were deaf.
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Just in case anyone was looking for a slickly-animated, duck-filled video with soothing narration that they could watch to learn more, here:
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Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I’m open-source, check me out at GitHub.
Good bot.
Once the expansion of the universe has accelerated enough we should be safe from this, right? My thinking is that if some galaxy starts collapsing as you described, but all surrounding galaxies are moving away at FTL speeds, it would never reach them.
That would reduce the chances, but this could happen to literally any particle. Kind of hard to avoid it when it’s in one of your spleen molecules.
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Correction, it should be the entire observable universe not the entire universe since light outside the observable universe cannot reach us due to expansion thus anything that travels at speed of light can also not reach us.
Of all the big scary things in the universe, this one scares me the least. Even if it does happen and is the worst-case scenario you just cease to exist at the speed of light before you even know something is happening. No pain, no dread at your inevitable demise, you just are living your life normally and in a nanosecond you are gone. Not a bad way to go, imo.
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There is an athropod that will replace a fish’s tongue.
There’s also a woman that will replace my will to live. I call her my ex-wife.
I know this is boomer humor but this got an audible laugh out of me.
I feel like it would be even more boomer if it was about their wife and not their ex-wife.
You should read the John Dies at the End series
Or the Laundry Files series.
spoiler
There’s an eldritch cult that uses mutant cymothoans for mind control. Some of them replace other body parts instead of the tongue.
That there’s notorious war criminals still alive such as Henry Kissinger that probably won’t face any repercussions for their atrocities in their lifetimes.
Also there are billionaires and politicians in power that could easily at least start switching to clean energy and plastic alternatives but choose not to.
Kissinger received a fucking Nobel Peace Prize.
It was one of the defining moments of my childhood that turned me into a radical.
Jason Steele (of Charlie the Unicorn fame) used to do a show called Vulo Lives which has a recurring game called Guess That War Criminal. The hint was always that they were also a Nobel Peace Prize winner. There were… quite a few of them.
Honestly, they’re all brilliant but the Grimace and Picachu episodes in particular are amazing:
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLI6HmVcz0NXoYFk41DycPJX3vttujU2G1
Here is an alternative Piped link(s): https://piped.video/playlist?list=PLI6HmVcz0NXoYFk41DycPJX3vttujU2G1
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I’m open-source, check me out at GitHub.
Good bot.
And I bet Alfred Nobel is still rolling in his grave for that considering the whole reason he proposed the Nobel Prizes.
Kissinger was on the board of Theranos, which feels a little anachronistic to me.
Fanta’s creation was a result of American companies cutting off business with Germany during WWII. Coca Cola stopped sending ingredients to the local bottling plant in Germany but the ones there still wanted to work and make money. They took the ingredients they still had access to and made a new drink, Fanta! Once the war was over and Coca Cola made contact with them again they liked the new drink and just made it part of their brand.
I had to stop telling this normally as it tends to make people hate me for making them feel bad about drinking Fanta. I tell them it’s fine. I drive a Volkswagen. But they still feel gross about it so I stopped telling people or at least tell them that they may not want to drink Fanta anymore and give them the choice.
Coca-Cola never gave up thier german subsidiary Coca-Cola GmbH and they never willingly stopped sending syrup.
Syrup was stopped by the allied blockades. They ran out of stockpiles in 1943 and so the owner created Fanta with apple cider scraps.
The Dutch Coca-Cola plant had similar supply issues and they sent the Fanta branding up there as well but used elderberry.
After the war Coca-Cola regained their subsidiaries and the Fanta branding.
Fanta would be discontinued in 1949.
The current Fanta we know today was created in Italy in 1955 to complete with an unknown Italian PepsiCo product.
This makes me want to drink Fanta more than Cola though.
I don’t blame the workers for wanting to continue earning their money. I wonder whether they provided the new drink freely to Coke once the contact came back, or if Coke just took it…
That our memories are all we really know and have. They’re also volatile, and are usually changed to support a narrative.
Be careful.
Hey remember when you promised to give me that $100? Don’t tell me your memory has changed to support the narrative that you’ve forgotten!
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oh FUCK
“There are a group of people who believe that each day, when they sleep, they die,” the old man continued. “They believe that consciousness doesn’t continue—that if it is interrupted, a new soul is born when the body awakes.” The old man continued…
“The thing about this philosophy is how difficult it is to disprove,” the old man said. “How do you know that you are the same you as yesterday? You would never know if a new soul came to inhabit your body, so long as it had the same memories. But then … if it acts the same, and thinks it is you, why would it matter? What is it to be you?"
We forget things but we remember people. As long as you take one life lesson from every person you meet you’ll never forget the important stuff.
3.14 backwards spells PIE
The word “bed” looks like a bed
These are fun.
“swims” can be rotated 180 degrees and still say swims. It’s an ambigram. “pod” would be another.
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There was once a study to test the amount of “poop particles” (feces based bacteria) on everyday objects. The study consisted of putting objects in places that would be more or less likely to have feces and a control group which was isolated from any source of feces based bacteria to the best of their ability. The microbiologists running the study were unable to tell which group was the control.
This is written to the best of my memory and some details may be wrong but the meaning is the same
In graduate school I swabbed a public toilet seat and wiped the specimen in a Petri dish. My cohort swabbed the bottom of their shoe and did the same. The public toilet specimen grew virtually nothing. The shoe specimen grew the equivalent of a rainforest in bacteria.
I can’t believe Americans wear shoes inside.
You expect us to step on our bathroom carpet in our bare feet?
LMAO, I was like what the fuck is bathroom carpet, then I got the joke. It’s a joke right? Please.
Unfortunately not, some areas of the US have nasty ass carpet all the way up to the toilet.
Hey! You leave my extensive-rug-of-back-hair out of this!
2 of the rentals I’ve lived in had bathroom carpet.
Rentals.
Student accommodation…
They were probably 40% vomit, 25% filth, 25% jizz and 10% actual carpet.
Some do. Most don’t (in my experience).
I live in California. The only people I know who wear shoes in the house are those with neurological damage making it painful for them to walk around in socks, slippers, or barefoot. CRPS sucks.
“No shirt, no shoes, no service”. You get kicked out of most places if you don’t have shoes.
I’m obviously talking about inside houses.
Me neither it weirds me out when people do this
Americans also don’t eat off the floor.
Toilet seats are naturally smooth and bacteria have a hard time staying on the surface. Most public toilet seats have an additional antimicrobial coating.
That can also mean we’re doing pretty damn well just with toilets.
A factoid is something that looks like a fact, but is not
The universally accepted meaning is:
a brief or trivial item of news or information
Interestingly, here’s what Merriam Webster says about the origin of the word:
We can thank Norman Mailer for factoid: he used the word in his 1973 book Marilyn (about Marilyn Monroe), and he is believed to be the coiner of the word. In the book, he explains that factoids are “facts which have no existence before appearing in a magazine or newspaper, creations which are not so much lies as a product to manipulate emotion in the Silent Majority.” Mailer’s use of the -oid suffix (which traces back to the ancient Greek word eidos, meaning “appearance” or “form”) follows in the pattern of humanoid: just as a humanoid appears to be human but is not, a factoid appears to be factual but is not. The word has since evolved so that now it most often refers to things that decidedly are facts, just not ones that are significant.
So you decided to ignore the last sentence?
No, I’ve just looked it up after reading your comment
Narrows eyes
There are more Panda Express restaurants than there are pandas.
Damn, that’s depressing. But considering the pandas sense of self preservation, it makes total sense.
The guy who shot john Wikes Booth was once solicited by prostitutes. He was so so appalled by his boner that he decided to castrate himself with pinking shears (scissors). He then goes to church and walks it off before seeing a doctor.
The real sad part is that he was undeniably driven insane by his work as a hat maker. Fur hats were shaped and then brushed with mercury, which led to hat makers getting mercury poisoning from the fumes.
Basically the poor guy melted his brain, chopped of his balls, enlisted into the union army and was forced to march on a boken leg, killed the most infamous man in the world, and was then locked up in an asylum.
