• DUMBASS@leminal.spaceBanned
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    4 months ago

    Pink, you can control any situation with that.

    You got some dude coming to attack you with a knife? Point finger guns at him and say “Poop”, they poop instantly stopping them in their tracks, confusing the ever loving fuck out of them… Then you do it again while they stare at you, slowly working out it’s you doing this.

    You walk up to them as they slowly try to retreat from you, you hit them one more time and walk off into the distance, leaving him to try to get home without anyone noticing he pooped his pants, because who’s gonna believe him?

    • Capt. Wolf@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      What I want to know is, do I have control over consistency, force, and quantity? Is there a limit to the range for this power? Do I need line of sight or is it more of a “Death Note” thing? Can I cause defecation syncope? Can I make someone poop themself to death?

      • DUMBASS@leminal.spaceBanned
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        4 months ago

        So far it seems to be whatever they have going on already, you can modify force tho, but that has risks of its own… It seems that as long as I have some form of live visual of the person it works.

        • DUMBASS@leminal.spaceBanned
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          4 months ago

          Insides become outsides, but it takes a while for that to happen, people are full of shit.

    • nifty@lemmy.worldBannedOP
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      4 months ago

      Because you have the soul of a puppy and you can’t imagine harming another?

      • Kitathalla@lemy.lol
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        4 months ago

        We’ll all be your friend here. We just have to avoid all things that could potentially cause strife, because we are on the .world server, after all. No real discussions, no delving into topics that unnerve cowardly mods. Everything is surface level and calm, just like any casual… friendship… without feeling…

        You took the blue pill already, didn’t you?

    • Ziglin (it/they)@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      If blue is not already the case (I would question how they became your crush) that seems like a good option. Otherwise pink is the only useful one.

  • Seigest@lemmy.ca
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    4 months ago

    The older you get the more your going to want that poop command to use on yourself.

  • BigBenis@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    Assuming I could force somebody to poop on command with little effort beyond sheer willpower, I would absolutely take it upon myself to dish out petty justice with that power.

    I see you being rude to people working in a service job? You get poopy pants.

    I see you playing music on your phone or otherwise being obnoxious on the bus or some other public space? You get poopy pants.

    Are you driving like an asshole? Following too closely? Cutting people off? Honking the moment the light turns green? Words can’t express the satisfaction I will feel in knowing that you’re now sitting in your car with the poopiest of pants my power could possibly muster.

    • Valmond@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      Okay, but at all times there is a mass of constipated people surrounding you, lining up in a queue in front of your home, begging you to relieve them! And obvioysly many havent really thought about where to go about it if you help them…

    • boonhet@lemm.ee
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      4 months ago

      I mean the weed gummy isn’t that bad

      But of the rest, pink is the only one that does anything fun. And it could technically be useful. If you need to distract someone during a heist, for an example.

      • Da Bald Eagul@feddit.nl
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        4 months ago

        Yeahh I already have the blue pill. I mean I’d like to try weed some time but with some friends too. And it’s not like it’s super expensive, so that’s always an option. Pissing loud is useless, and making shitheads get shit pants actually sounds fun, so that’s what I’d go with.

  • Polysics@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    Pink all the way. Rude to some service worker? Poopy pants. Didn’t return the cart? Poop. Drive like an asshole? Poop. Politician spewing hateful garbage on national television? Oh you bet you’re getting the poopy pants.

    I would be The Punisher, only with poop instead of guns.

  • figaro@lemdro.id
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    4 months ago

    Pink would be politically beneficial. You could legitimately make major progress in the world with that power. Someone who disagrees with you tries to speak publicly? Time to poop. Hell. Just harass them with explosive diarrhea until they notice the trend that whenever they do something political, the diarrhea returns.

    • Cordyceps @sopuli.xyz
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      4 months ago

      I think it would be just enough to go for those massive diarrhea spasms where you no longer even have anything to expulse but your body keeps pushing. Although I guess it would be cooler to have a Tarantino level spray, choco edition.

  • SparrowHawk@feddit.it
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    4 months ago

    Imagine being surrounded by cops and just saying “get sharted!” And running away while the cops cry and moan in excremental pain

    The Sharter strike again

  • _stranger_@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    I like that it’s “Forced”. If it was just “make people shit themselves”, it would just happen and then they’d wonder what’s going on But Forced implies they’re fighting it, it implies resistance. That’s kinda messed up.