I’m looking for book recommendations in the topics mentioned in title.
I often find myself feeling down and not being able to accomplish anything, and the tendency has been increasing.
I cannot even work on my hobby projects, because I’m just staring at the screen and my brain is not functioning, which leads to launching a game or watching YouTube videos and waste time.
I cannot find the way out of this madness, and my last resort is to find some books that might help with my issue.
I don’t wanna rely on search results on the internet, because I don’t trust random compilations of “read these 10 books to be productive”.
Well, this is optional, but in case the book you recommend indeed helped you, I’d be curious how permanent the impact was for you, if that makes sense. I know mostly it depends on the person; it’s me who has to make the effort, not the book. But I’d be curious how easy it is for you to consistently maintain what you learned from the book.
Regarding the format, it has to be in epub. And I’d very much prefer DRM-free books, price doesn’t matter. If the only good books are all DRM-enshittified, that sucks, but I’ll consider that too if I have no other choice.
Thanks in advance if anyone can help with recommendations!
not saying you have adhd, but https://howtoadhdbook.com/ is a book i gave to a couple of neurotypical folks and they found a couple of the strategies helpful for them.
and if your default status becomes “being in a rough patch” it might be time to seek help, you are worth that.
which reminds me that i have to get my copy back from a colleague…
How to ADHD was already mentioned. Atomic Habits could also be helpful.
I was like that for almost 4 years, during and after the whole covid thing. I could engage with activities outside of my house (gym, sports, going out with friends), but inside was apathy.
Only thing that helped was ADHD medication.
I haven’t read it yet, but The Willpower Instinct is on my list at some point because I’ve got good recommendations for it from multiple sources at multiple times, and it looks the part in terms of actually being supported by evidence.
Not a book, but an article
What worked for me was the realisation from articles like that, that I wasn’t lazy or unmotivated, just in a loop of: some reluctance to get started → distraction → feeling bad about not having started yet → distraction → feeling even worse → distraction → …
It was pretty much an emotional management issue rather than a motivation of focus issue.
The solution wasn’t to try harder, be more disciplined or structured or anything. The solution for me was to learn to identify the feeling and take a moment to go “I am feeling reluctant to start this and want to do something else. I’m feeling bad which is ok. Now I’ll just get started anyway until the feeling goes away” and usually once I got going I felt a bit better
Pretty much I dissociate for a little bit, which sounds bad but it really works for me. The bad feeling for me is mostly at the start, and once I’m actually making progress, that feels good
Longer term I have learnt ways to make getting started easier
- For a cognitively heavy task I try to make the first step easier; e.g. before I leave it one day, I make a note of what the next thing to do is, which means starting it takes less effort.
- For a manual task that is hard to keep doing because it’s mentally unstimulating, I do it while listening to an audio book or while having a phone conversation.
- For any big task I try to find small bites I can do and feel I have made progress, so I get a mental reward rather than an insurmountable thing. Even if the big thing is 1000 small bites, if I just make regular progress I will get there in the end.
The more I do these things, the less bad feelings I have about these tasks
Everyone is different and your tools might end up looking different, but there are probably ways you can get past it
I used https://solvingprocrastination.com/
You might feel overwhelmed by how much advice it gives, but you don’t need to adopt every suggestion or habit, just what you think works for you.
I don’t have any recommendations for books on focus/self help etc but some general advice would be to think of a topic that interests you in other aspects of life and find books about that. Also physically move yourself and electronic devices away from each other if that is having negative effects.
In my case I started reading books that were adapted from movies/TV and video games. Stuff like Metro 2033, The Expanse, The Martian, Silo, Jack Reacher, The Bone Collector were what started me off. Then that leads on to other book series from the authors and so on.
As for my phone I leave it in another room when I feel like I need to focus. Not having it in arms reach and out of sight is a huge help.
I liked Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport. I found myself reaching for my phone more often than I would few years back, and doomscrolling at nights, and I got some good tips from this book.
I wouldn’t say it solved all of my issues and I will be taking a look at the other books recommended here. But it did help me reduce screen time and focus more on tasks without feeling that I have to look at my phone every 5 minutes.
I often find myself feeling down and not being able to accomplish anything, and the tendency has been increasing.
I recently picked up The Daily Stoic to try and get myself out of this pattern. I know it’s not going to solve all of life’s problems but it has helped me set aside the heavier feelings that weigh me down.
Edit: Examples from the book.
Good luck.
