Dammit, The Onion got me again. These headlines lately are too believable.
I believed it at first
This seems less crazy than the things he’ll actually say
the onion has been on fire recently.
The length of time I’ve seen people commenting this, makes me think they mean ‘recently’ on a geological scale.
Stop giving him ideas
Ah fuck almost bit this onion.
Did it smell good? Might need to ban onions too.
Satire is dead.
The onion should really start hiring like crazy. They’re about to start getting so much material that their staff will be totally overwhelmed.
Watch out, he’s coming for scented markers next
Well it would be bad if we began eating soap. Right?
Better than bleach… Right?
I’m no scientist, but I think so.
But if you only eat poison, the brain worms will starve
I love eating Irish spring. tastes like Guinness.
You can’t eat the marbles.
