I know staying up past bedtime is illegal but I did it once to check and fortnite was in fact off 😔

Truly terrible news

  • Aeao@lemmy.world
    126·
    1 month ago

    I love that part of the internet.

    Kinda like “guy code”

    “Was said he was with you last night”

    "Yep, all night. Cleaned the spark plugs in my car and drained the blinker fluid. Couldn’t have done it without him "

    But instead it’s “parent code”

    “Yeah fortnight is closed. They close it so everyone can get a good night’s sleep and be ready for the morning!”

    I was going to tell a personal story about telling my son McDonald’s was closed when I was broke or in a hurry but it reminded me of another cute store.

    My son broke his arm in a McDonald’s once. Hyper extended his elbow. Got a couple pins.

    Anyway a year or so later they completely remodeled that McDonald’s.

    We drove by the demolished building during the remodel and my son shouted “that’s what you get for breaking my arm! Who’s broken now!”

    Adorable vengeance served adorably cold.

    • JackFrostNCola@lemmy.worldEnglish
      7·
      1 month ago

      Just FYI that cleaning spark plugs is actually a thing. Not common but sometimes they can get ‘fouled’ from things like oil or incorrect air/fuel mixtures.

      • Aeao@lemmy.world
        11·
        1 month ago

        Sure wink and oddly enough spark plug cleaner smells a lot like perfume wink

        I got you bro.

      • JasonDJ@lemmy.zip
        2·
        1 month ago

        Depending on the engine and whether or not you use double iridium-platinum triple splitfire plugs, once you go through all the work of taking them out, no sense in putting the same ones back in.

  • HiddenLayer555@lemmy.mlEnglish
    69·
    1 month ago

    Easiest way to do this: Turn the modem off after bed time (you will also lose internet)

    Most expensive but still easy way to do this: Buy a “smart router” with time-based parental controls (lets you use the internet at night).

    Nerd way to do this: Pihole with a script that enables and disables certain blocklists at certain times (free and open source, because fuck “smart” products)

    • sudoku@programming.dev
      40·
      1 month ago

      Cheaper alternative: flash existing router with DD-WRT or OpenWRT and access advanced features for free.

      • MoogleMaestro@lemmy.zipEnglish
        8·
        1 month ago

        The Elon Musk method: Buy some shit for no reason with only the attempt to ruin it because, idk, oligarchy or some shit.

    • bstix@feddit.dk
      13·
      1 month ago

      The cheapst way is this: Don’t lie to your children. Take responsibility for your choices. Talk to your children and explain why an adult needs to make responsible choices.

      • Wes4Humanity@lemm.ee
        10·
        1 month ago

        I agree with all of this… Might cost you some time and fights depending on how poorly you did raising the kid to this age though… But now this kid is going to go into school adamant that the game can’t be played at night… You’ve set him up for serious ridicule because you’re too lazy to parent well

  • Omega_Jimes@lemmy.ca
    37·
    1 month ago

    This reminds me when my mom told my dad Netflix didn’t serve their area because she didn’t want another bill.

    He told me that and I was like “Well…” and my mom just yelled from the other room “I JUST CALLED THEY’RE TRYING FOR NEXT YEAR.” so I shut up.

  • slazer2au@lemmy.worldEnglish
    35·
    1 month ago

    Problem is that it’s regional. So even of you watch a big streamer, they are before 9pm so the game still works.

    • rockerface 🇺🇦@lemm.ee
      14·
      1 month ago

      All big streamers are time travelers. They stream from the times when the game works so that people who were too late to play can still watch

      • crawancon@lemm.ee
        7·
        1 month ago

        they login through 7 proxies to be time lords. hence origin of time cube you can’t deny the logic.

    • c0ber@lemmy.mlEnglish
      5·
      1 month ago

      actually if a streamer is every streaming fortnite past 9pm, they’ve secretly prerecorded the stream as an alibi

  • sloppy_diffuser@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    26·
    1 month ago

    This is why we trust but verify. Thanks mom for teaching me that cruel lesson of unplugging the phone cord to get me to bed (dial up days). It lasted about a week before I caught on you always came up from the basement before bed.

    I’m so glad you never noticed I swapped my line with the guest bedroom. Also glad that ancient block in the basement could be hand wired.

    • zerofk@lemm.ee
      12·
      1 month ago

      Ah the eternal arms race between parents and children. For me it was lights out so I couldn’t read, circumvented with a flashlight under the blanket.

      • AllHailTheSheep@sh.itjust.works
        2·
        1 month ago

        for me it was logging into the router webpage, getting my parents mac and ip addresses, and cloning them after they turned off their devices and my Internet for the night lol

      • psud@aussie.zone
        2·
        30 days ago

        My sister got told off regularly for reading after lights out

        As adults my mother told me that after they found books for me I liked they pretended to never notice the light leaking through my doona, they were just happy to see I was reading

  • Lysergid@lemmy.ml
    21·
    1 month ago

    I mean, mom could be right. Maybe there’s a rule on router to block Fortnite servers after 21:00. She just doesn’t tell that she the one turning it off