Hi y’all, I’ve been (slowly) doing my transition for almost 2 years now and it’s mostly good. I didn’t really have any plan in place when I started, just the vague idea of maybe transitioning. I think I’m running into this problem because of how my brain developed. I’m really bad at planning out past a year because all my life I assumed I wouldn’t make it past 21. So, is there some sort of guide on the steps of transition? Preferably a wiki sort of thing. I’ve looked a bit but nothing has caught my eye.
It’s not super important but it’d really help me figure out how to proceed. Like okay, I’m on HRT and that’s going fine, so now what? I guess I’m a bit lost.
There’s not really a guide that can tell you what you want, that’s up to you to decide.
Most of transition is just getting used to and getting better at living your gender, that just comes naturally with time and practice. This includes things like makeup, wardrobe, mannerisms and speech patterns for example.
Obviously, you can focus on one of these things at a time, like practice a lot of makeup or do voice training, and that is a very good start of you are new to it, as this sort of focued approach helps you get the basics down. But once you have that, it is, as i said, mostly a matter of slowly improving over time.
When it comes to medical stuff, there are a lot of options and you can choose which ones, if any, you want to pursue. Options include things like bottom surgery, laser hair removal, breast augmentation, tracheal shave, facial feminization surgery and so on. Now, i, for example, believe that i’ll be perfectly happy with only laser hair removal and bottom surgery, so think of this as more of a pick and choose thing, where you only do the ones that you think you need.
About planning. You said you’ve been at it for almost two years, so you should have a good feeling of how the amount of change you had feels over this period of time. Maybe a good approach would be to think about the next two years: are you happy with the pace that you’ve been going at? Would you like more changes faster, or perhaps even slow down a little? You can balance your transition around what pace feels right for you, again, transition is a highly individual thing that nobody can tell you how to do exactly. Keep in mind that surgeries are hard ro plan ahead because of waiting lists and there’s of course the question of money and/or insurance (i for one have been wanting to do laser hair removal for over half a year now but my insurance is gatekeeping me big time), as well as recovery periods that you have to plan around.
I apologize for the length of this comment but i hope it has been at least somewhat useful :)
I think it’s next to impossible to write a guide on how to transition. It’s so multidimensional and personalized that any guide saying do x, y and z is going to be wrong for someone. But maybe something very, very general can be written.
You’ve actually been at this longer than me so maybe you have a better idea of what transition is to you but I split mine into three broad categories; mental, social and medical.
Mental transition is working on how you view yourself and how you fit into the world. For me it mainly involves reflection on what exactly do I want, how do I get it, and why haven’t I. Usually unpacking internalized transphobia for me but also involves integrateing ‘girl me’ me into my view of myself. Slots in with medical transition in that you may want to talk to a therapist to assist you with it and helps you decide if and how you want to medically transition. Fits in with social transition in it is how you decide to transition and overcome inhibitions to transition. Maybe the hardest easy thing to do.
Social transition is changing how you interact with the people and the world around you. Probably the first thing most people think of when they say transition. Covers a huge range of things like how you groom yourself, clothes, pronouns, voice training and many many more. How, when and why someone does one thing or another is going to be very personal and specific to them.
Medical transition is basically anything you need a doctor to help you with. I include feminizing HRT here even though you could technically do it by yourself in a lot of jurisdictions. I would also include any mental health consoling here. My advice here is to basically get in line the second you have an inkling that you are going want or need help from the medical community. The wait times for it can be months or years depending on location. If when you get to the front of the line and decide you don’t want anything you can always decline and they’ll go to the next person.
You could try the GenderKit website for a general overview of what options exist. The advice there is a bit UK centric when it comes to doctors and official stuff, but most (western) countries have similar systems in place and at minimum this gives you a starting point.
I found this very helpful when I started my journey 2 years ago.
I understand a bit what you mean. But it really is up to you. For me getting bottom surgery was a long term goal of transition, and I recently was able to get it. I’m now looking at vocal feminization surgery as a possibility as for me voice dysphoria was the next worst after bottom dysphoria. But thats only how I feel, everyone is going to feel and want different things.
Transition is a unique and personal journey and there’s no set in stone method to it. It just comes down to what you want with your life, and what you think is necessary to achieve that.
As a lot of other comments said, what stuff you choose to do or not do is completely up to you, but I think I relate to the want for some kind of guide, just to get an idea of what’s possible in one’s transition. The closest thing I am aware of is this video, “The Transfemme Field Guide:” https://youtu.be/xJHlNX56K2E
It’s not really a guide giving steps on how to transition, it’s more of a collection of tips and advice on various aspects of transitioning, so you can pick and choose which advice to follow. Hope this helps!
I think that’s pretty much what I was looking for, thank you!
It’s up to you to sit down and write your goals. Work through how you feel about things and what bothers you. Maybe try getting into the mindset of not “transitioning”, but “gender unmasking” - focus on letting your inner needs shine, rather than go through a checklist of what you “have to do”.
Also if possible, the most generic advice, get more out to people (in real life!) to learn which interactions and opinions make you feel good and which you’d like to correct. Get support from the local community (and contribute back). I’m an awful introvert, so I know this can be hard, but even a bit of IRL interactions goes a long way when you’re working through stuff and in doubt
