An excerpt from Red Delicious:

Oh how the mighty have fallen! Believe it or not, the coffee grinds in a leather glove known as “The Red Delicious Apple” was once a robust firebrand credited with reinventing the apple from mere cider-fruit into a full-fledged lunch-worthy sidepiece. It even won the Stark Brothers apple contest in 1894. Likely your great-grandma’s favorite apple, this once flavorful Prometheus has been mass-produced into desolation.

Nowadays, you can find this thick-skinned, flavorless, mealy imposter unwashed in a dirty wicker basket on the floor of a convenience store. What a sad state of affairs. It’s time to hang them up old man, your time has passed.

  • NeonSkies
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    1 year ago

    As an enjoyer of apples, I feel seen :D So very many mediocre ones out there, and yet they keep hanging on!

  • nhgeek@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    Old Reddit quality post (I mean peak Reddit not the dystopia its quickly becoming). Awesome site! Very funny and useful. Thanks for posting.

  • anxietysloth@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    My favorite apple is opal so that’s the first one I looked up when I came across this website a few weeks ago. I didn’t know what to expect but definitely not what I found. 10/10 website

  • Lenguador@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    Clearly they’re just ragging on every apple because they didn’t rank Fuji as the best. What’s the point of a list if they’re just going to blatantly lie?