Just a mild passing thought and curiosity to mull over
Validation is one of the things on maslow’s hierarchy of needs. It’s essential for people to feel belonging and connection with other humans. We’re hardwired for it and the lack of it leads to poor outcomes almost always.
Social media is not a good source of validation. If social media were limited to just the people you knew and communicated with at least semi-regularly it would be very useful for receiving validation. However once you branch out to people you don’t know, healthy validation becomes more difficult. It also introduces a number of unhelpful facsimiles of validation (parasocial relationships, internet points).
100,000 likes/views/upvotes/retweets does not replace respect and acceptance from your peers for your emotional wellbeing, it’s not even a good substitute.
No social media platform has figured it out yet, but that doesn’t mean it’s not possible to build one that could be a good source of validation. It’s unlikely though so long as roi is important to the people that build social networks.
Validation is their way of figuring out that they’re “normal” or a good human being.
- They’re afraid of being an outcast + they’re anxious that they can’t take care of themselves
- They don’t know what is “right”, so they rely on others to tell them that what you’re doing is “right”
Social media crowdsources the feedback that you did this right, you did this wrong, etc
This is so simple but put so well. Seeking validation is a perfectly normal human behaviour we need to normalize. Especially in the west where talking shit behind people’s backs is so normalized nobody ever knows what anyone really thinks of them.
I take it one step further in tangent. Anyone that complains to you about everyone else, is complaining about you when they are talking to anyone else. It is their form of social bonding, or just a lack of any self awareness filter. These types of people are not your friends. They are not bad people, but they can give an impression of comradery that is only an illusion.
Massive agree. If anyone here is one of those whipper snapper youngsters with their iPhones avocados, put down the Fortnite dab and the Ohio rizz because this man speaks da tru-tru and it’ll help you the most in the workday.
Thanks! I’m validated by your response.
I’d try to do tasks with some sort of reasonably objective testing system or I’d go crazy.
If that’s not possible for a task, then minimise the time spent; try to spend a bit more time doing the other type of thing.
I don’t mind doing something artistic as a passtime/hobby. But no way could I do only tasks like that as my sole contribution to society - I’d probably have to do as much drugs as a stereotypical rock-star.
I’m kinda the inverse. I have two careers for context. My day job is in tech, my second is as a professional sideshow performer
My day job is often soul crushing and drains me of energy, but it pays the bills. Performing is what keeps me going. I have a deep need for art, community, and self expression, and while I’m grateful that I do make side money from performing, I don’t mind taking a small financial hit for the fulfillment it provides (eg, when producing a show)
To the original topic, validation does play a role in that. If we didn’t get some sort of validation, we wouldn’t continue to create art
