Dude tried to rape me. Might be his worst date too because he left with multiple broken fingers and a broken nose. It could have been better for me / worse for him if the cops took it seriously, but the fact that I fought back and he wasn’t actually successful in raping me was enough for the cops to wave it away as a domestic dispute that self-resolved when I left.
That’s intense! You’d expect attempted rape to be thought of as quite a serious crime!
You’d think, but unfortunately it do be like that for those of us with female phenotypes.
Fuck the cops! I’m so sorry.
I’m so proud of you, stranger.
What The actual fuck?
A first date was already not going well, and I said I needed to go. He decided that wasn’t happening. Ended up having to run away from him, literally, through a park area while wearing heels to reach my car. It was daytime and many people saw what was happening, but no one did a thing to help. But I’m sure if it hadn’t been daytime, he wouldn’t have “let me” get away after catching me. There were just too many eyes on him.
I wore comfortable shoes I can run in to all first dates after that.
I wore comfortable shoes I can run in to all first dates after that.
This absolutely breaks my heart to read. Like I as a man will probably never relate to this struggle or be able to understand it on a personal level but probably all of my woman friends would read this and either think, “hey, that’s good advice” or “yup I already do that as well as XYZ to stay safe”
Like fuck. How is it that I put exactly zero effort into not being a creepy rapey predator, and I’m not chasing women to their cars, yet at the same time every woman that I know has a story at least somewhat similar? Why does it feel almost inherently true that there will always be a subset of shitty guys that view women as their prey/right/property/conquest?
What a shit world we’re living in.
I’m sorry for rambling and I’m sorry that this is something you have to live with.
It was going okay before dude started bragging about how he went out with a lady not too long before. He wasn’t all that into her and he said she clearly wasn’t into him, but he paid for dinner and guilted her into going home with him because he “might as well get something out of paying for her.” Giant red flag at this point. I went to the bathroom, when I came back the bill was on the table. He claimed that the server had brought it as one bill, rather than separate, and pointed out that she’d drawn a heart around the total in red pen. He refused to let me pay for my portion.
The thing is, it’s standard practice for servers to ask if the bill should be together or separate here, and I’d always been asked at that particular bar. Dude wasn’t a local and clearly didn’t know that. This guy told me about how he used “but I paid so now you owe me” to coerce a woman he knew wasn’t interested into having sex with him, and then immediately tried the same bullshit on me. He had deliberately asked for a single bill while I was away from the table. I’m reasonably certain he’s the one who drew the heart on the bill too.
Needless to say, it didn’t work. He still tried to drag me off to catch the train in his direction with him and got real upset when I told him to fuck himself and bolted. I’m very glad it was an early date so it was still light out. This guy did not take kindly to being told no.
As a dude, I’m constantly gobsmacked by how many dudes are just the fucking worst when it comes to dating. Like, fellas, it really isn’t that hard to avoid being a creep.
My current partner and I are planning on getting married in the next couple of years. He’s wonderful. I don’t see this relationship ending, but if it does my best friend and I plan on throwing darts at a map until we hit somewhere we both like. We’ll get a place and become old punk grandmas together because neither of us wants to deal with dating ever again.
Congrats and best of luck with plan A, but kudos for having a killer plan B!
This sort of story is unfortunately super common. It’s probably rarer for a woman to never have had such an encounter than it is for them to have had one.
It is when you feel like everyone owes you something. So many dudes are absolutely clueless about women. Its honestly scary how bad it can be.
I had one where she obviously wasn’t actually interested and just came for the free food cause she was poor. I hung out for a bit, bought her an extra meal to go and then just left.
Hey, man. You dropped this: 👑
That was really nice of you though.
Maybe, but I wish it wouldn’t be considered “really nice” and instead just be called basic compassion. Compassion doesn’t seem to be common enough to be a basic thing though 😕
I don’t think manipulating someone with the guise of a relationship is very compassionate. She could at least have been upfront about it.
Gtfo dude how are you acting more upset than the man that went on the date with her? If he’s being more understanding then maybe you should chill the fuck out
Well but a lot of people would not have.
She was an hour and a half late. I only waited for her because she was responding to my messages, apologized for her tardiness, and said a couple times she’d be there within 20-30 minutes which led to a 90-minute wait). Once she got there, she told me that she was late because she was having some anxiety that day and went to a friend’s to smoke a bowl first. She chainsmoked on the patio, and I sat away from her because I don’t want to smell that while I’m eating. She told me about a terrible book she was writing, with the sort of stupid plot you’d get from r/writingprompts. And then she said she needed to get high again and asked me if I wanted to come to her car with her while she did. I declined and said I was gonna head home. Proceeded to promply never see her again.
I’d love to know why this is getting down votes.
Possibly from stoners? Not badmouthing weed, and I have anxiety myself so I get it, and I get that some people medicate with it for the purpose of anxiety. But holy cow man, you gotta respect a person’s time.
Even tho I always like to defend weed(since I also smoke it occasionally) I’m always confused about people whos smoke it daily and then complain about cigarettes. Like bro, you aren’t really better.
My parents each smoked two packs a day inside the house for the entire 20 years I lived with them, and my mom had a massive heart attack and died at age 63. I carry a lot of trauma around all that, so I have a boundary about being around people who smoke anything, really. I should have exercised it that day, but my boundaries were sort of flimsy then.
tbh, tobacco does stink to high degree. But yes, pot and kettle, etc
That’s true.
First date with a girl: I open the car door for her when I pick her up. As she gets in, she hooks a hoop earing on the corner of the door and rips it out of her ear. The next 6 hours are getting her through ER to get stitched up.
Funny enough, I did get a second date and we hung out for about a year after that.
It’s a terrible date but I can see how it creates a bond.
As a guy who does woodwork, and other DIY stuff, I’d be terrified of wearing large earings if I were a girl. Heck I’m already terrified of wearing a ring.
Heck, I don’t wear gloves around the drill press, even if the metal I’m working on is hot and sharp. I’ve seen what happens there.
I never wear any sort of thick gloves, excluding gardening. I find that thick woven gloves only get your hands sucked into worse circumstances.
At first glance I thought the girl hooked the earring on the door and tore her ear to guilt you into paying the medical expenses on purpose, lol.
Well, medical expenses aren’t a thing where I’m from, so probably not.
Asked a girl out on a date. She invited me over to watch a movie with her at her parents house (we were in our late teens). I arrived; her recently deceased family dog and incredibly distressed mother were both in the kitchen. Dog was a really big golden retriever that had been euthanized, and the mom had bought him home? Not sure why? Maybe to bury in the back yard or something? Idk
Anyway I offered to leave but she was insistent that we watch the movie together, which we did, on the couch, with her mom crying in the next room. Halfway through the movie the mom screams he’s still alive, he’s still alive. Go into the kitchen, she’d gone to move the body and it had expelled air and made some noise. I had to explain, with my best year 12 biology, what had happened. Five minutes of this woman losing her shit with grief out of her beloved companion dying.
Girl insisted we watch the last 10 minutes of the movie, it finishes with us watching in silence, I get up to leave and said something stupid like hey I’d love to do this again sometime and she says “I have a boyfriend”
I’m like alright well that’s that then and didn’t put in any more effort. Stupid me, she was hot and I really liked her. Being a dipshit I wrote a song about it, using the three guitar chords I knew, which takes me to act ii…
…five years later, I’m at a party, exchanging worst first date stories with friends and fellow partygoers including a cute blonde. I wait my turn, tell the story, she laughs her arse off and then goads me into singing the song, accompanying myself poorly on the guitar. I absolutely fucking nail it, everyone is in stitches, sit down next to her and the night goes from there. We end up leaving the party for a walk down to the local beach, made out on the beach, things get frisky, jump in a cab back to my house, in bed together, have drunken sex…which results in a broken condom. She lives literally the other side of town so we have to wait till (a) I’m sober enough to drive and (b) pharmacy is open to get a plan b, then have the most awkward drive back to her house. Get there, offer to walk her to the door, she says no, kisses me goodbye in the car, then texts me…to say she has a boyfriend.
Worst date ever: Dude was drunk when I arrived on time. Apparently he arrived at the pub 3 hours earlier to just sit and drink. Claimed to be people watching the whole time.
He was argumentative, obnoxious and creepy. Even bragged about people he was making uncomfortable in the bar.
He said he Didn’t have a license to drive… likely because he lost it from drunk driving.
Anyways I made up an excuse that I had to work early (he insisted to stay and keep drinking) and I left and blocked his contact as soon as I exited the pub.
On another date the guy I think was homeless and couldn’t afford to go on a date which is not the bad part. We went around town and just went up elevators to look over the city scape. If anything that was a positive for him in that he was being innovative with his situation. The bad part was he was deep into the Rooshv bullshit. he started talking about how clever he was, making sexist comments about men and women and how they should be and making lewd comments about my body.
As soon as we got to street level from the second building I said I had to go and tried to leave, he clamped a hand around my wrist to stop me but I used a bit of a self defence move to break free and wander into traffic to lose him.
Okay I have nothing to complain about. This is awful
Omigod.
We met at a café for coffee and pastries. He talked about himself non-stop, I couldn’t even get a word in, like not even to ask follow-up questions. Every so often he would realize what he was doing and then pause and sat “Oh, uh, how about you?” as though he finally remembered I was there. I could get about 2 sentences in before he took over the conversation again.
After the first date I was willing to give him a second chance because I know people can talk alot if they’re nervous, so we called each other a few times, but it was the same thing, just him talking the whole time. He would call me after work and ramble for an hour about nothing. I finally broke it off because he just never shut up.
Newcastle?
Is there one guy in Newcastle who is so bad at shutting up that you just assume a story from anywhere in the world is probably about him? Lol
The guy is so bad I assume he is that guy of Newcastle. There must be other that guys in other cities - who knows, maybe several; but I would bet at least 15 pence (probably even 20) that if it’s Newcastle then it’s this guy.
Probably the first one I ever had.
Because my parents were there, too. 😩
In a world of bad dates due to abusive behaviour, this takes the cake for most cringe 😆🫣
It may be a cultural thing. Supervised dates for safety/approval is common in some parts of the world.
I’m so sorry
A friend persuaded me to go on a date with a girl I wasn’t particularly into. We went for a meal, then she wanted to go clubbing. But I’m not into that either, so she broke down in tears. I was pretty sure I hadn’t said anything that bad, but then the story came out: her ex-partner had the same first name and job as me, and the meal and clubbing were his favourite things, but he’d been found dead in another country with his common law wife and kids, and the similarity to me was effectively his coming back from the dead to be with her again.
No there wasn’t a second date. I haven’t seen her since either. Neither have I taken dating advice off that friend since, although we are still friends.
I don’t think there’s any circumstance where “replacing” a dead loved one with someone similar would ever end well. Way too many expectations, and context the date would be unaware of.
Met a woman on OKCupid back in like 2014. We seemed to hit it off, so we agreed to a mall date since we were both broke (she was a college student, I was a youngster in the military). We were gonna get food and just kinda walk around and window shop and talk. Gonna try to keep this short, but a lot happened:
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Had me pick her up from her dorm, went up to the dorm, her roommates were drinking even though everyone was underage, and they’re thanking her for having mom get it for her. She’s super nice about it, but proceeds to complain the entire drive and start getting emotional because she hates that they drink when they’re underage, etc. Yet… She provides it…
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She doesn’t eat when we get to the mall, and instead spends the whole time I’m eating, talking. No breaks for me to respond, just keeps going.
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We start walking around the mall, and she starts randomly pinching me. Like, painfully, randomly pinching me in my arms and torso. I’m finally like wtf is with the pinching, and she says that she was doing it because I wasn’t holding her hand while we walked around… We just met, and the vibe is already pretty crap, and how in any way is that a way to communicate…
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We finally leave and get back to her dorm, I walk her to her door, and I’m invited in by her/the roommates. Fine, I decline drinking because I’m a good sailor, but my date and I exchange some pleasantries with the roommates and then head to her room. It’s basically just a bed, I think maybe she was just super nervous at the mall and being in her own environment she’ll relax.
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We’re just chatting, and the pinching starts again, and she’s kinda just going for it with no breaks. I’m getting pissed and finally grab her wrists and tell her to stop, and she bit me. On the chest, like, hard, not a romantic playful lil love bite. I’m, again, taken aback and am like, wtf?!?
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She starts giggling and tells me that that’s how women tell guys that want to make out/get intimate. What?! No, not how that works, at all… Especially not on a first date. But, fine, I tell her she can just ask, figuring she just wants to make out.
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After a little while making out, the pinching starts again, and apparently this time it’s how women say they want to have sex. I wasn’t so turned off, it just didn’t happen, like, at all.
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She walked me back to my car, and I drove her back to her buildings door, and she bursts into tears about her roommates and the drinking again, I console her enough for her to feel better and go back to her room. Say goodnight, and she just sits there staring at me. I’m kinda done at this point and just ask what, and I get, “No kiss?” Fine…
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Get a text while I’m driving home telling me it was one of the best dates of her life, she really hopes we can see each other again soon, she really liked me and was attracted to me, etc. I respectfully declined, and when she wouldn’t just take that as an answer, I sent her a text essay outlining basically all of the above, and I honestly can’t remember if she responded.
Honestly, she wasn’t a bad person, and maybe at different stages in our lives things could’ve gone better… But she had a lot going on and a lot of life to live and learn from, and I wasn’t up for the ride. Hope she’s doing well, if she sees this and recognizes it, and that she stopped using pinching as a means of communication.
Oh, and to illustrate how hard the pinching/bite were, I had dime sized bruises all over my arms and torso the next day, and a bite mark bruise on my chest.
I cannot begin to imagine the environment she grew up in, or if she’s actually neurotic. Where in the world do you learn of using direct painful stimulus as your “go-to” form of communication? Also massive red flag when people say “That’s how all men/women act!” In response to problematic behavior. I’ve gotten that from the most toxic people I’ve ever met.
I’m not sure if you were just horny, but kudos to being able to withstand that.
Wonder if she had just gotten out of a relationship and she was trying to recreate the same thing with a new person (which probably never works).
bruh. just. what. the. fuck.
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He kept talking on the phone before the date about how short he was. I assured him it was ok. He really was very short in person but I’m not bothered by that kind of thing, but the way he kept talking about how he was shorter than me (and I’m short) through the whole date just made it so pointless and self centered. When he asked me out again I said I had met someone else and it was getting serious just to avoid going through that again. He didn’t attempt to get to know me at all, so what was the point?
Date was fine enough, when the girl gave me a handy like she was trying to strip me with sandpaper, that’s where things went south.
Handjobs are never worth it, and at this point in my life, if I ever received a good handjob, it would set off all my red flags alerts and alarms.
Of course, I am speaking as a straight man. I’m assuming gay men don’t have this problem, but can’t speak to that with any authority.
Nah, I’ve had some pretty bomb handjobs, that single one was where things went bad
I’m of that option with BJs. I’ll take a handjob any day over a blowjob, especially with a little lube. Hell I’ve had a few partners that I would have preferred a handy over sex.
I wholeheartedly disagree. Not only is it much more effort, it’s a blazing bright sign that a girl that’s not completely nuts is that into me, it’s way more of a turn on.
We were teenagers and I went to her house in the boonies to shoot crossbows and play NBA Jam. Sounds ideal, right? So after shooting trees for a while she asks if I want to shoot her hamster.
Maybe she was trying to be edgy or funny but I was so disturbed I made an excuse and started walking home (which was hours away). I finally managed to hitch a ride with this creepy couple into town (but that’s a whole other story - definitely did not give those two my home address).
