I’ve recently met a man whose dating profile said that he’s Graysexual. I tried Googling the term, but it’s a bit confusing and I’m hoping to get a straightforward breakdown from the kind folks in this community.
From what I gather, it’s a branch of asexuality that sometimes feels sexual attraction. That’s a bit ambiguous, though.
I will ask the person directly once we’ve spoken more, but it will help to have a foundation of understanding beforehand. Thanks ahead of time!
Graysexual (or greysexual) is essentially where a person falls somewhere between asexual and allosexual. This is, generally speaking, where somebody experiences sexual attraction but only very weakly or infrequently.
Thanks for your quick response! Is it basically like going through periods of sexual attraction that come and go? That’s how my own sexuality has been my entire life and I thought that something was wrong with me - Like I can go several months without sex and be perfectly fine, then go two weeks of nonstop sexual energy. Never knew there was a term for this.
If that’s it, it sounds like I might vibe with this new guy I started talking to.
You could ask the guy. If he’s anything like me he’s identifying as greysexual because out of pure confusion about where on the Ace spectrum they belong. They could be going though a period of change and questioning. Everyone’s situation is going to be unquie.
Maybe? I’d say that sounds more like aceflux. Graysexuality tends to be very infrequent or weak attraction.
Of course, it’s your choice what label you use (if any at all). There can be a lot of overlap between different identities.
The descriptions you found on google are probably vague because different people will mean different things when they say they’re graysexual. The other person already explained well what it means, but the specifics can be different for everyone. For example, some might experience attraction weakly but all of the time, some might experience it more strongly, but only rarely, and then no attraction at all the rest of the time. Both of these people could refer to themselves as graysexual. But since you relate and plan on communicating well, I bet you’ll be fine. Good luck!
Thank you! It makes sense that it’s a “gray” area. :P I’m hoping to chat with this gent soon and understand what it means to him.
These terms are pretty vague by design as there’s no human out there that will always neatly fit in only one of those boxes. I consider myself a greysexual but mine is less random and more tied to emotional intimacy but not so much that I’d consider myself wholly demisexual
Demisexual is needing an emotional connection before sexual attraction, right? Forgive my ignorance - this is all new to me. I’m in my mid 30s and grew up in an era of “Labels are for soup cans” so we didn’t even attempt to put words to our sexuality. It’s honestly very comforting, though, to find that others have a similar experience.
Yep, you got it pretty much. Dasically for somebody who is demisexual, sexual attraction is a secondary attraction and it requires being attracted to the person in other ways.
TIL I’m demisexual. Thank you!
