Kinda hasn’t been going. There’s not really much I can do given my current situation, so I’m mostly just waiting for college (which is in 2 years).

There is some stuff that I “can” be doing, like voice training, but I just don’t have the energy or willpower to do so. I’m trying my best, and recently my best has just been getting out of bed in the morning.

Overall, has been going pretty terribly. But I have hope that it’ll get better in the future when my situation isn’t so sucky.

Edit: Oh yeah I did get a therapist. They are basically everything I could ever ask for. Trans (nonbinary), ADHD, Autism (SELF DIAGNOSED which is huge), and just in general I really click with them. I don’t think I could’ve gotten any better.

I just want healthcare not to be a circus animal jumping through hoops

I’m pretty happy, aside from my voice. I’m three years in at this point and the HRT has done it’s magic. I can tell I at least sometimes can pass visually because men online have started condescending to me and being kinda creepy sometimes. I wanna lose more weight so I can fit into more clothes etc, but am otherwise pretty happy with my appearance (at least on a good day, I still get intense dysphoria sometimes).

My voice sucks. I’m not exactly outgoing and talkative, so getting the practice in to improve my voice has been hard. I’m pretty sick of the weird looks I get when I give my name in my still-masculine voice. Ditto to the staring oldies and the eshays intentionally “sir”-ing me. On the upside my social transition has gone well, my family and friends are pretty accepting, something I’m certainly not taking for granted!

Still haven’t gotten total body fat redistribution. Impatient for it to finish already. All of my pants are getting too big for me, so good sign I guess.

My transition’s been going decently well. I’m only about a year into HRT, so I have some physical changes yet to go, and possible surgery on the horizon, but socially things have been going really good! I am out at work, at home, and with all my friends, and it’s been nice to be called Astrid by qll the people in my life.

More often than not, I look in the mirror and like the person I see. Sometimes I worry that I am still visually exactly the same when other people look at me, but what can ya do 🤷‍♀️

I mean, visually, my face and body are unrecognizable from before. But that could be due to me starting HRT early on in my life (started at 19 years old, been 6 years since.) It’s still jarring to look at myself in the mirror and see a girl staring back. I get so giddy but then of course, I see something off and obsess over it. Currently, that’s my facial hair. It sucks having to shave everyday.

My hair has gotten SO LONG (Down to my stomach). So much so that other cis girls ask me tips on how I keep my hair healthy looking. >w< The first couple years I was afraid of wearing makeup out in public but lately have been having a lot of fun with it! It’s just fun to look and feel pretty. >°<"

Mentally am still kicking, and I still have some troubles with the past here and there, but I wouldn’t dream of giving this up for anything. I hope to have started some actual procedures like hair removal or bottom surgery within the next year, once I have figured out insurance. x.x But as of now, I’m just tolerating it down there (even tho it makes my life challenging…)

Anyways, that’s the gist of it. Also, hai! Used to lurk so am kinda new here. I might post some pics at some point once I’ve built up the courage ^~" Thanks, y’all! ❤️

Amazing. Especially the social part. Like, I finally just get it and how I feel like I want to communicate just fits right in. With guys it just felt kind of stunted somehow and I could never live up to their social expectations.

For example as kids the guys would ask me what football team I was for. Ajax, pvc or feijnoord (I am sure I have the spelling wrong). Well, I didn’t care, but I showed some interest. I remember seeing the logos and just thinking about their visual style, color combinations and so on. But they were all so pretty in their own right, so I couldn’t choose in the end because they were all pretty.

It’s like trying to connect two cogwheels but they just don’t line up right.

And as an adult this created so many issues. I absolutely adore going to the market and striking up conversations. Of course guys do that too, but somehow it just didn’t work? Like I don’t know, it was as if they felt I wanted something from them and they were confused. So I couldn’t really explore it, even though I knew it made me happy.

And now it’s so simple. I’m constantly making good contacts, especially with women. And the connection with kids is off the charts and finally it’s just simple and straightforward.

Like it was as if before I had to hold back all the time. It felt terrible.

Now the long journey of detangling and unknotting my emotions starts. It’s causing me to dissociate and go numb, and it’s hard to focus on them with all the stress in my life.

Haven’t started yet, but my state is red as hell so it’s up in the air what’ll actually be best for my health in the long term. Too much very causal transphobia around here right now, but I really do believe things are getting better.

There’s other factors too, but this is the one I keep coming back to. For now I’ve been getting away with presenting pretty darn NB as long as I don’t mention SHIT about pronouns or gender identity. The particular brand of “catholic manners” I’m surrounded by is at least good for keeping fuckers’ mouths shut as long as I’m super nonconfrontational and kill em with kindness.

Love y’all, stay safe out there 💖

Decent! Only 5 months on HRT and see and feel plenty of change. Really hoping certain muscles start to decrease in size - primarily shoulders and lats. All the tops I buy fit awkwardly 😞 I was also hoping my metabolism would slow down slightly and allow me to keep some fat, but my body has always liked staying lean… After so many years of bodybuilding, I’m just not in a place mentally to start eating like crazy again to help with weight gain; it’s liberating to eat what and when I want. Dressing more androgenous and getting plenty of compliments on my outfits, though I consider them a compromise while my body composition adjusts. I feel really good about myself, and that’s a big first for me!

Pretty well. I would say face and body hair are my current biggest issue but even then I’m in a pretty good place.

It’s going great.

I’m at 4 and a half months HRT now and recently had my first control appointment where I’m currently waiting on the results being sent to me. The boobs are growing and my body hair is growing slower (I think). Much of my facial hair is gone after 6 laser sessions Although I probably still have 6 more laser sessions before me and a bit of electrolysis after because of my many grey hairs. I’m not sure but I also think I can see the first changes in my face but it’s difficult to say.

I recently bought my first girl t-shirts and shorts and wore them out in public and it felt great. I’m also glad that sometimes I fit in women’s size L clothes depending on how they are cut. I’m also getting better at eye makeup, eyeliner especially.

Waiting…

… for my hair to get long enough for even a short feminine cut. I don’t really feel like wearing a wig, but I guess I might try a cute headscarf.

… to lose weight. I’m going about as fast as I safely can, and it’s noticeable, but there’s still a lot to go.

… for hair removal. Seeing the effects already, but gotta wait at least a month between appointments.

… for hormones. First appointment in six weeks or so. At least there’s DIY as a fallback.

But! I’m out to my family, and my immediate coworkers (I work from home anyway). So I can wear what I want, practice my voice and makeup, and things are good. I don’t wear anything more boyish than women’s jeans and a semi-fitted T-shirt (OK, fairly neutral), and I guess I’ll just tell anyone who asks. Just wish I could see in the mirror how I feel.

After a 2 year break, I’m going to start laser hair removal on my face again 🥰. Also turns out I was massively overpaying before. Groupon is the way to go

Sorry, this is gonna be kind of long and rambly. So, I’m transfem and kinda sorta nonbinary (still figuring it out, but putting an x on my driver’s license felt the most right to me, when I did that). Been on hrt for a year, my transiversary was this past Sunday in fact, and I am turning 30 this year. Finally got on progesterone, and switched from sublingual estradiol pills to estradiol patches, and they seem fine with no ill effects so far; very exciting. I’m still not out socially (I’m kind of afraid to) so that’s kind of a downer, but I’m still way happier than I was before. Consequently, I also don’t have makeup or girl clothes. Need to get those too, but it’s rather hard, between the dicey financial situation and a home life where I’m not completely sure how risky coming out to my mother will be.

Apperancewise, I’d consider myself a work in progress. I need to lose weight as a top priority for my health and looks, I’m very heavy. And I want bigger boobs (who doesn’t?) since my current measurements are a 44c, but while that’s apparently more than a lot of girls get in their transitions, they just look so tiny on me, between the chubby gut and the big rib cage. I was hoping I’d get lucky and not need breast augmentation to have a reasonably nice chest, but it’s looking like it’s gonna need to happen some time.

I also definitely need to visit a salon. I’ve needed to for like the last 4 years, still haven’t been to one since way back at the start of the covid pandemic (goodness gracious, where has the time gone), but despite that, my hair is nice and long and curly, and I wear it in a cute side style, even when boymoding (which admittedly is kinda my only mode when I’m out of the house at this time). Honestly, it just kinda fits me too well, and thats like my biggest source of euphoria right now. It’s just a tad scruffy, but otherwise so close to exactly how I want it to be. I need to dye it red some time, too. I have a thing for dyed red hair… Literally every customizable girl character in every video game I’ve ever played, I’ve always gone with red hair and this same sort of hairstyle, even before I knew I was trans. As if it’s written into my very soul!

But anyway, I also have some self conscious feelings about my face. You know, the common stuff like dysphoria about the stupid brow ridge, etc etc. So I’m thinking maybe facial feminization is something I’ll need to seek out some day too, but I am also trying to just get used to loving myself without needing surgery. I already got over my high cheekbones! But hair removal, gosh that really can’t come soon enough. Please delete every last one of these awful hairs from my chin and upper lip! I really gotta find a place for laser hair removal, and hopefully be able to afford it.

I’ll spare any additional rambling, I’ve said a lot as it is. I think my transition is going decently, like I could improve in a lot of ways, including actually coming out and socially transitioning some day, as I said earlier, but nevertheless I’m pretty happy with the progress I’ve made since a year ago. We all go at our own pace, right?

Done. I take it easy though. I just wear the clothes I like, use preferred pronouns, dye my hair, and correct people who misgender or deadname me. I have greater ambitions in life beyond the transition so I don’t spend much time or effort on it (no voice training sadly). It’s been 6 years since I discovered myself in this way, and I still haven’t taken any drugs or supplements because my granny died after taking estrogen for her menopause and I don’t want to tempt fate.

Cosplay is one of my goals, it’s a drag because pattern drafting and sewing takes so much time.

Kinda big win over the past 8 months I relearned how to talk about myself in Russian in the feminine grammatical gender which removed the gender dysphoria associated with speaking Russian.