Ok, I have no idea why this bothers me and I don’t even know what to call it. My husband is a “come here” guy. Something he thinks is interesting and wants to show me - hey, come here! Nuclear apocalypse - hey, come here! Why the hell wont he just tell me why he wants me to get up, trudge to wherever he is, so that he can reveal the surprise like some sort of performative art ? I never know if it’s going to be legitimate, a disaster, or something stupid. The walk to wherever he is is insanely stressful because the whole time I’m running through all possible horrible scenarios (we’ve had a lot of issues at the house lately so I never know if I’m going to find water in the basement or raccoons in the attic or a hole in my foundation, or just him looking at a funny cat video). I’d rather he say “hey, babe, something is happening wherever/whatever, come see this.” Instead I have to have the whole performance and reveal and I fucking hate it. Anyone else know what I’m talking about or am I just mental ?
I don’t think that’s the issue. Basically the OP doesn’t know what she is walking into (funny video, huge house/financial problem, or life threatening situation) and that is causing stress/resentment about the “come here.”
It’s definitely not “her alone” that needs counseling. Why doesn’t her partner just tell her what’s going on? Why the need to cause her so much stress so he can have a “big reveal”?
If he continues to do it after a serious conversation and her creating a boundary (eg, not going unless her partner tells her what’s going on), then they both need counseling.