Currently wearing a skirt for the first time. Spinnies are life. Spinnies are love.

England is currently having a bunch of race riots while simultaneously throwing a shit fit over two women’s boxers who aren’t even trans, so I’m not feeling great about that.

I need to do better about loving myself. Any tips? lol

Hey! I’m glad to hear you’re doing well!

I’ve been alright. Four months on E as of three days ago! I’ve recently discovered that I have more support amongst my friends than I initially thought. There are only a few people in my life who haven’t actually been supportive and I am grateful for what I have, especially considering how bad some folks have it :(

Talk about emotional rollercoasters: Last week, I had a mental breakdown on Discord after my roommate opened a discussion about the Olympics. I went off on him, completely misinterpreting his message, and proceeded to unload my fears into the channel. The resulting conversation with all of my friends ended with me transferring ownership of the server to another friend, leaving, and bawling my eyes out for the rest of the evening. I discovered afterwards that my friends do care about me, that I am worthy of love, and that I can share anything with them. I have since properly introduced them to me, Téa, and they’ve been doing their best to acknowledge my new identity and treat me how I want to be treated. I feel loved and supported. I feel like I can actually face the nay-sayers now, as long as I have my friends behind me.

Suffice to say, I’m doing pretty well. I’m still getting used to HRT, but it’s been going well. I’m seeing progress and my levels are good.

I wish everyone here a safe and wonderful journey.

Hiya, and congratulations! Newbie here.

Now that I’m no longer using junk food and booze to fill the gaping void in my life, I’m slowly but steadily losing weight (for the first time ever) - went down a belt notch today :) I wonder if my man boobs will stay to give me a head start?

Plus, first laser session in a few hours. Bye bye, beard!

I’ve not been good, I haven’t gotten a referral yet and from the looks of it I won’t get HRT any time soon. Every day that passes life seems bleaker and the small bit of light only seems to get dimmer.

I’m always questioning myself. Intellectually, I have no idea what I want. My little instinctive thoughts and feelings, though, are pretty consistent, and that’s been a great source of comfort. Enby? Trans woman? I don’t know, but in the end it doesn’t really matter, I enjoy presenting and feeling fem and doing things to that effect makes me happy.

People say “it’s about the journey, not the destination”, which I think in most cases is generally a pretty hollow platitude. It rings very true about the journey to knowing yourself, though, because learning about yourself changes you, so there will always be more to know, the journey constantly changes the destination.

Not that that really makes being kind of out of touch with myself any less unpleasant, but at least it’s comforting knowing I’m self aware.

Except until I remember talking about this with someone who I was pretty close to and and they told me I’m way too self-absorbed and think about myself way too much. Which, while hurtful, is also kinda true. I do just wish I could stop thinking, it would be nice.

Depression’s been REALLY bad the last couple months, finally getting better again. Almost started writing notes at one point but called a friend instead. Things have gotten better to the point where the antidepressants override things again, which is nice. They don’t stop me from being depressed, but they kind of… disconnect it from me? Prevent it from causing symptoms? It’s nice.

I want to get laser hair removal for my face, and find some clothes that are more fem that don’t look super out of place on me, and really try doing makeup. Lately when I glance in the mirror my lips catch my eye and I think I’d look nice with lipstick. Following those little moments has led me here and made me happy, so I’m gonna keep doing it.

Content warning, sexual things below.

I caught oral herpes from making out with a guy, but didn’t realize it at the time, and unknowingly transferred it to my ass via toy that I used orally and didn’t sanitize before using anally. I’m thorough about sanitizing the other way around, but never thought about it mouth to ass. That really fucked me up and the day I found out I had herpes was the day I almost started writing notes. It wasn’t just that, I was physically feeling terrible from both another illness and the outbreak which I thought was a fissure, so did urgent care, so it went untreated for a week and got very bad. A friend was staying with me and had a major bipolar crash just before this, and I was the most stressed ai had ever been in my life. But fuck, I had just spent months in therapy getting comfortable with dating and sex, and then without anyone ever making contact with my ass (except for one guy who ate it and tested negative and is probably the closest you can get to a sex saint) getting infected with herpes? It just instantly undid all the progress I’d made. It also made my ass feel terrible, like I didn’t get to toy for two months and then it was was uncomfortable and even painful to start penetrating myself again. Even when I first started it was never painful and rarely uncomfortable. I’ve been slowly working at getting back ul to speed, but fuck it’s slow going getting back to normal and that was one of the few things that I loved myself for/through, if that makes any sense. Honestly, a core part of my identity and now it’s fractured into pieces. Still, things are improving, just slowly. I definitely won’t be able to ise my open source sex machine for a couple months.

I’m feeling fine at almost 4 months of HRT now.

In about a week I will have my first control appointment with my endocrinologist after the first appointment got moved because my doctor was ill. I’m anxious to know how my levels are since I’ve been having relatively constant heart palpitations which I suspect are caused by my E levels which might be too low.

But I finally started doing some exercise again (cycling with my brother) since 2/3 weeks ago after a break of almost 2 years.

Hey Olivia 👋

I’m also 6months on HRT!💖💕

Things are going pretty well, my body is finally looking ok-ish!✨

I still have to find the confidence to stop boymoding, but I have to wait until laser hair removal is fully done on my beard, because I can’t hide it with makeup sadly (pitch black hair)😠

Also I want my hair to be longer but it’s curly and takes ages to grow, it’s going to look good I feel! 🤩

Let’s nope oNevia is now oForevia on your self-love!

Ive… been. (US) I became less terrified of potential results of next election, and borderline excited after the Tim Walz news!

In less fun, the “temporary team” I joined at work to help out with a project for a few months just became my entire job (position was taken from my boss by bosses bosses boss and moved to form a new… department?) I was initially given a verbal “out” to go back to what i was doing, and it feels like a bait and switch, plus the job is functionally to automate myself out of a job within like, a year.

Its a federal job, so its not like they’ll fire me but still kinda bullshit. So I’m strongly considering looking for a different job now. I found this out yesterday after lunch. I am not happy.

All that said, I have been wanting to leave this state, so it might be time to see what my options are elsewhere (and have a bit of space away from family, and really explore transitioning in a safe state/environment).

I know I’m a bit late to this post but I’ve been doing really well transition wise. Last month I got to 1 year on HRT so that was very hype. Also started prog about 2 months back and its sedative effects have been very useful, as I usually have a hard time falling asleep.

Personally though, I’ve been very stressed out with college and I haven’t had any luck finding a comp sci internship, but I’m still hopeful I will get something eventually. 😅

Also the feeling of finally loving yourself and caring about the body you’re in is amazing. HRT is a wonder drug

I just realized I’m about eight months on HRT. Woah. Time flies.