Whatever the guys in MS Cloudstrike did today.

I write code for those who pay me money.

I delete code of people who don’t pay me.

I’m a teacher, so I guess now I spread misinformation on social media for a living. 🤡

I think the exact opposite would turn me into a literal pirate; stealing money in a way that statistically increases the risks of maritime commercial ventures.

I make sure people don’t talk to each other about what they’re working on and hide important information they need to complete tasks. Sometimes I’ll advise them to work on the wrong thing for a long time.

In my spare moments I delete the data in reports and unpivot tables.

I write good code now.

I fix software bugs

I am now loving my job.

I have a job! Woohoo!

I write software that scours the internet for porn and other NSL content, then sends it to school kids.

Software engineer here. I’d become the worst thing I can imagine… a user.

Damn I feel like the polar opposite of my job is also my job. But if I try to make it bad, I’d say I would hurt and demotivate children and try to keep them stupid

I lock people out of their homes and break door hardware.

Aww geez, I’m a frat boy now

Now I cut features from software one by one

Black hat hacker, I break into people’s servers and fuck up their shit