I’m new to the bidet scene, and this one has me slightly confounded. Should I install a new towel rack next to the toilet? Should my wife and I share the towel? Do you wipe first? There are so many unanswered questions in the ways of bidet-ing!
Bidet wash first. Then tp to dry and to, well there is no nice way of saying this, check how the bidet wash did its job. Used appropriately, you should use significantly less tp than before.
For anyone with a sewer system built for TP, this is an ideal workflow. Poops and poopers are not identical, and bidets are not magical. Trust but verify, friends.
Pet peeve. Whatever three-quarters of the world seems to believe, any sewerage system can handle TP. That is: real TP has almost zero fiber integrity, it literally turns to goop on contact with water. Goop that has no more structural consistency than an average pile of sh*t. If still in any doubt then just make sure to flush it in single sheets, each one will be a pea-sized ball of goop. This misunderstanding seems to be purely cultural. I’ve been to a ton of developing countries, all with the usual dodgy sewerage systems and narrow-bore pipes. Yet only some of them, notably Latin America, have the disgusting cultural norm of TP bins. The rest understand that there is a difference between TP and paper towels designed for the kitchen and your face. TP is always flushable, by design.
And generally, baby wipes, bottom wipes and face wipes aren’t safe to flush, even if they say flushable on the package. If they were safe to flush, you wouldn’t be able to pull out a wet sheet from the package; it would be goo.
I thought it was natural, but it turns out TP is using PFAS so that it disintegrates as much as possible. That was kind of a bummer to learn. :/
Wtf. Just looked this up and you’re right. It seems like literally everything contains either toxic chemicals or plastics, unless you made it yourself without them.
Yeah, that was a bit depressing. The PFAS make it a lot more water soluble. My guess is that old TP didn’t break down very well at all, and was kinda splintery (or at least more paper-y).
Luckily, the bidet removes much of that as long as you don’t use TP. And for those that have bad pipes or a septic system, I think a bidet is an invaluable part of saving you lots of money, since you aren’t packing extra material down the pipes.
The cheap toilet paper can be submerged in water for like 48 hours before breaking down. So for many who only buy the cheapest, clogging pipes is a reality. Their own fault, but still.
I try not to blame individuals for the failure of systems, especially ones as exploitative and damaging as capitalism. Why blame the people who can only afford the cheapest toilet paper when you could blame the corporation that made the cheapest toilet paper clog toilets? The people with the least money have the most negative repercussions. How are they supposed to know it clogs toilets without having to learn the hard way? Why wouldn’t you assume that toilet paper would all be equally safe to flush no matter how cheap it is?
I mean you could always just wipe your ass, leave the TP in the bowl for like 48 hours, and then flush it, but then that kinda seems unsustainable unless everyone has their own toilet and only needs to poop every 48nhours which isn’t gonna be the case in a poor country I bet.
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like RaulDook! 🤦♂️
Pooping solo, a roll of TP will last me a month or two. A pack of TP will last well over a year.
Gosh, I hope everyone poops solo. 🫢
I hope that one day you too can share a connection with a special someone or someones where you never have to poop alone.
You are valuable, loveable and you deserve this
Different stokes for different folks.
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Who’s this we you speak of? 😶🌫️
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I mean that no one else but me is using the ass loafs.
Let me introduce you to the Donnerbalken.
This is the way.
Ryobi cordless leaf blower. You have to aim for the rim because if you hit home it makes you burp.
Actually though, just dab with TP. You’ll use much less TP and not need “flushable” wipes that still clog your main sewage line
I know you’re joking, but i think I’d enjoy a Dyson ass dryer.
Technically, why not?
Because the butthole is sensitive and repetitive exposure to heat can cause issues.
Bumhole heatstroke is a thing. Gotta be careful.
No heat, imagine just a hand holdable blower with a complimentary vacuum to suck in everything blown away. Like at the dentist. The dentist makes a mess in your teeth while the assistant uses a little vacuum tube to clean it all up.
Be sure to grab extra batteries and keep one on the charger. Trust me
Got a solid chuckle out of me man, thanks. Needed that.
I wonder when Dyson is going to bring out their arse-sized airblade?
I twerk a bit over the bowl.
Copying the text from another comment i made here:
I have a standalone bidet, not the toilet bowl attachment, which is basically a mini sink, and it works like a sink in that you can regulate flowrate and temperature with the handle
with this kind, you have 100% cleanliness since you use your hand to clean everything, and after it there’s a mini-towel for each person, usually in a towel rack near the bidet so no-one gets confused, and usually in a smaller size then normal towels.
If you’re worried about the idea of using your hand being unhygienic, rest assured, there’s a radical invention called washing your hands afterwards, which, by the way, you should do anyways even if you use toilet paper.
This is actually demented
What’s demented is guys scratching their crotch and wanting to give me a high five afterwards
hey, smell this.
Do you live in a toxic fraternity!?
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People would rather have a filthy body than touch their own bumhole. I don’t get it, it is your own body, what is so icky when you are in the process of cleaning it? Would you rather live with a stinking baby with a dirty diaper, or change the diaper and have a clean space? Same thing, just deal with the thing asap and be done with it. This is why we invented soap. I swear to god this is same people who would scratch their navel then smell their fingers, or would eat earwax, but won’t touch their bums in a shower because it is gay. Guys would decry bidets but then go eat ass and pussy without a hint of self-awareness.
None of this explains why it’s not cleaner to use toilet paper than your hand after using a bidet…?
You don’t use your hand afterwards, you use your hand to wash along with the bidet, then you dry with TP or a towel. It is not demented. It is just washing like how you are supposed to wash when you shower.
I learned some time ago that some Americans just will never be ready for the bidet conversation, just let those people live in filth
Read the comment with instructions man. Wipe with toilet paper first, as normal. Then wash with soap and water. Then dry with a towel. If you’re smearing poop all over everything you’ve got other issues to work out.
To answer your question, it is cleaner than just using toilet paper because you are wash with soap and water after you use the toilet paper. If you manage to get poop all over the towel when you’re done washing, then TP alone was never going to suffice.
Because dry spreading your poop with toilet paper is not cleaner than washing your butt together with water.
Not what I said. Bidet + TP vs bidet + hand
No one only uses their hands guys. You use your hands in tandem with the running water to get all the shit off. Then you wipe with TP (modern) or a towel (more common before TP).
Ah, I see, I thought the bidet part only relates to your second option, there. I guess one reason to use your hands is that in some countries, toilet paper is not commonly provided, so it’s not always an option.
No one only uses their hands guys. You use your hands in tandem with the running water to get all the shit off. Then you wipe with TP (modern) or a towel (more common before TP).
Yeah it would be cheaper I suppose, that’s fair
Literally the whole world did this before we had pressurized bidets.
Why are people so confused about this comment? I live in a backward society that does not use bidets. However those from the image are the only ones I know from Spain. What is wrong about them? Or is it the hand thing? If yes, what is the alternative? Please, can somebody explain, I am serious.
they probably mean the Japanese style ones where you attach a seat to the toilet bowl, and on e you are done a small tube comes out and shoots water up
yea I don’t know how those are popular either
I tried the fancy japanese robot toilets when i went there. I thoroughly enjoyed them.
Heated seats ✅
Music to cover up sounds ✅
Deoderiser fan ✅
Adjustable bidet squirt level from 1-7 ✅
‘front bum’ bodet for the ladies ✅
Heated seat ✅
Any bidet is better than no bidet. The hand ones are great. But the Japanese ones with zero hand contact minimizes the potential for fecal-oral contact even more, just in case someone doesn’t do a great job washing their hands in a hospital or food service setting.
Side note, it really irritates me when people take a shit, wet their hands, and leave. Wash your hands with soap and water. It takes 20 seconds.
If you don’t, you are now slinging potential shit water everywhere.
Every time the bidet thing comes up, people are just DUMBFOUNDED by it. The sentiment is always “you smear shit all over your hands??” lmao.
No, first thing is you wipe thoroughly, then you use it aiming the faucet tangent to the bumhole, and with liquid soap on your hand, you clean it. Water is constantly flowing above your hand and against your hole, with soap on every contact surface. Afterwards, you wash your hands in the sink like normal.
Never had my hands smell like shit, never.
I saw one like this at a hotel in Austria once and was trying to figure out how to use it. I couldn’t figure out how the water stream was supposed to spray and clean coming out the side like that. Do you almost lay on it, face down or on your back to get it to spray your bum clean?
It never occurred to me that the spray wouldn’t be used to clean at all.
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When I was six or eight my parents were looking at houses and one had a bidet in the master suite bathroom, the kind that sprays up from the bottom of the bowl. I legitimately thought it was a water fountain for drinking and excitedly pointed it out to my parents. They did not buy that house.
Sitting next to the toilet??
You touch your bare shit covered ass?
I bought a cheap $30 Chinese bidet that uses water pressure to blast the shit crust off without touching anything or even getting off the toilet seat, then I wipe dry with TP.
Your setup looks and sounds barbaric.
You touch your bare shit covered ass?
Yes, absolutely, and then I proceed to wash my hands because I’m not a Neanderthal
it might look and sound barbaric but it feels amazibg
I’m only kidding about the barbarism; any use of any bidet elevates people above others. You are likely sophisticated, intelligent and attractive for simply removing the chance of “swamp ass” completely out of the equation, regardless of your methods.
I’ve got a menthol minty butt soap. For the small price of washing myself I get a refreshing, lingering blast of arctic freshness on those hot ‘n humid downstairs jungle days. It may still get swampy, but for a few extra moments- it’s glorious.
Agreed… the pressure cleans everything. Why use your hands at all?
This type is pretty good, but for food service workers, hospitals, and retirement homes, I’d prefer the hands-free ones with wide nozzles and oscillating sprayheads. Norovirus is a stupidly contagious GI bug, and for healthcare and food service, I want as little fecal-oral contamination as possible. Hand washing is great, but some people are terrible handwashers, and minimizing the potential vectors as much as possible is always appreciated.
Toilet paper itself is already pretty unsanitary. I wish all food service places had bidets for this reason alone.
What the fuck.
I’m sleepy and read that as “Biden voters, how do you dry your ass afterward?” and was very confused. But like… not as confused as I probably should have been.
with the amount of US political shit on here its no surprise really. honestly I had a pretty similar thought as I was scrolling over.
Yeah, I came into this thread expecting to learn more about some new brain-dead meme the right is using to pwn the left. Then realized it was a normal question I could answer.
You dab with toilet paper, for the love of all thats good, do not share an ass drying towel with your wife unless you went her to get chronic utis.
Just use the shells
I use 3 squares of TP, folded twice (into 4 layers). I never transitioned to a towel because the spray doesn’t always get everything and the 3 squares are enough to dry it.
Trim your pubes back there and on your balls. It can make a big difference in how much water you can hold back there. I was using an extra two squares before my last trim.
This is the information we need but wouldn’t dare to ask.
Spray with bidet then dry with toilet paper. Why are people so confounded by these things? Have y’all never used water to bathe before?
Why are people so confounded by these things? Have y’all never used water to bathe before?
I feel like some people were never given actual hygiene instructions from their parents growing up. I can only imagine the way some people are so hung up on genitals and waste products that they can’t even think about it, those kinds of people going on to have kids… do we really think they’re going to pass on useful information on self-care?
And it’s not like there’s tons of social messaging and helpful guides all over the place on proper bathroom habits, it’s purely a passed-down skillset.
Every time this comes up on reddit, there are a lot of people sharing stories about knowing men who literally don’t wipe their own ass or touch it while showering and just constantly walk around with shit all over their ass. I used to think it was a meme, but then met people in real life who also had encounters with men who thought touching their own ass would “make them gay.”
So yah, people getting anxious about using a bidet? That tracks. I think a lot of people are at very least, just anxious because they’ve never really been shown anything and might be doubting their own habits. Basically the bathroom and poop and related topics are just this mysterious realm that nobody talks about. Insecurity over our most intimate and private acts is a tradition as old as time itself.
In Italy, where the bidet is its own “seat”, we use small towels, one for each person. The ones that usually people vacationing in Italy think are for the face, they are actually for your ass. Hard to tell the difference on American tourists sometimes.
Especially because Europe doesn’t do washclothes, so as an American I had to learn VERY quickly what they were for
What do you mean we don’t use them? Those are exactly what I just described above.
In America a washcloth is a small hand sized cloth you use in the shower to clean your entire body, or your face
You mean “while” showering? With the water running?
Yep! Instead of a loofa washclothes are the thing here
Huh, that’s so random
Doesn’t it get just damp and smooth? How can you scrub properly with that?
Anyway good to know what they are for when there is no bidet in sight.
I use my “body” towel for the cheeks and toilet paper for the crack, same ad when I shower
My doubt about that is that, if you washed properly, it takes a lot of (usual 3 layers) toilet paper to dry the crack properly.
…toilet paper…?
Wipe, rinse with bidet, then wipe again to dry.
Why pre-wipe? This feels like washing your dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.
So you don’t splatter little bits of crap god knows where. The reason we use the bidet is because wiping isn’t enough, so it’s not redundant.
Rinsing your dishes before putting them in the dishwasher is actually a good idea if the dishes are very dirty though…
Scraping is definitely needed, but you might be able to make some changes to save water and time. Sharing this from Technology Connections, this guy saved me so much dish pre washing time!
Wiping first is just going to smear shit around and, if you have a hairy ass, get it more into the hair. Skip the pre-wipe and it will be just fine.
Pat dry with toilet paper
Did you dab? You have to dab!
Stop saying dab!
- The Venture Bros.
Dean, you gotta try this! It feels like a guy with a fever is yelling at my junk!
This is the way.
Yes. This prevents the tp from ripping.
I invested in one of those super fancy “smart” toilets with built-in bidet and hot air drying.
I used to work for the manufacturer and got a big discount on it before I left. It has a lots of overkill functions but damn I love that thing: Night light, dedicated remote, smell absorbing filter, mobile app, automatic flushing, sensor operated seat.
Its the fanciest thing I own.
what’s on the app? profiles for different butts? live feedback from a down-under camera? AI stool analysis?
I have a bidet with the functions he mentions other than auto flush as it installs on a standard American toilet. You scoff, but profiles probably are a thing.
Mine has a remote that probably does what his app does. It controls:
- Start/Stop
- Water temperature
- Seat temperature
- Water pressure
- Angle of nozzle
- Oscillator
- Turbo mode
- Air dryer
- Deodorizer
- Children’s mode
- Women’s hygiene mode
- Default run duration timer setting
- Power save mode
But what I really want is for it to say “Arigato Daddy-sama (ʘᴗʘ✿)” after I shit in it
I promise there’s no scoffing here! I love my analog bidet, and am always on the lookout for an upgrade, if the price is right. Especially if it can be fitted to a standard american toilet.
Happily taking recommendations, if you have any. The features you listed sound refreshing, relaxing, and somewhat intimidating. Which, to be clear, I’m into.
The settings for different users + all the functions the remote has.
Nozzle position, water temperature, etc.
- Some settings like when to open the seat/lid, when to
I never use the app it as its just a gimmick and the remote has dedicated buttons for everything, but in theory if I go to a place which has the same brand toilet it will set my butt profile automatically if I have the app on my phone with me.
I have one too, I’m on it now.
Upgrade to one with power. Never look back. Automatic flush, automatic seat raise and lower with a foot sensor, uv lights inside, foam/soap dispense into the bowl before and after, all the bidet features with constant and pulsing, articulating arm, heated seat, heated blow dry air, etc. It’s absolutely amazing.
Assuming you’re in the US just because the question only seems to come up there, and for our house there we imported them from Asia for less than $1k to the doorstep. Adding a power outlet is usually easy as most washrooms in the US have an outlet somewhere.
Bidet is like going to level 100 from 5. Super automatic Asian bidet is like a level 5000.
Sounds like you’re living in the year 3024.
Got a link to this black magic you speak of?
I am not affiliated with them at all:
I purchased from a sales rep for the company over WhatsApp and using Alipay because it was easy. They sell their products on Alibaba as well which would give you the sales protection and all that. I’ve bought about a dozen of them so far for 3 different houses. Wonderful.
What I didn’t understand from their catalog until I got one, is that they are very modular. Basically they have a couple bowl designs, lots of lid module designs, and then a few tank designs. Mix and match them to get all the SKUs.
I got the extra large tanks in-wall with wall hung bowls and then the super awesome everything lids. So the final product installed is just a floating toilet, with some buttons on the wall above it. You walk up to it, the lid opens. You either sit and the seat is heated or you wave your foot and the lid opens for guy mode. When you’re done in guy mode just walk away and it will flush and close and clean. In sit mode press the little knob on the side and it starts the water and then heat dry. You can also rotate the dial to get articulating wash and dry action. It comes with a remote control (why?) and an lcd on top. The soap dispenser inside creates a foam that shoots down when the lid opens. I’ve never been so impressed by a porcelain throne.
Just to second the other guy: Link? Brand? Any info to hunt this down?
I am not affiliated with them at all:
I purchased from a sales rep for the company over WhatsApp and using Alipay because it was easy. They sell their products on Alibaba as well which would give you the sales protection and all that. I’ve bought about a dozen of them so far for 3 different houses. Wonderful.
What I didn’t understand from their catalog until I got one, is that they are very modular. Basically they have a couple bowl designs, lots of lid module designs, and then a few tank designs. Mix and match them to get all the SKUs.
I got the extra large tanks in-wall with wall hung bowls and then the super awesome everything lids. So the final product installed is just a floating toilet, with some buttons on the wall above it. You walk up to it, the lid opens. You either sit and the seat is heated or you wave your foot and the lid opens for guy mode. When you’re done in guy mode just walk away and it will flush and close and clean. In sit mode press the little knob on the side and it starts the water and then heat dry. You can also rotate the dial to get articulating wash and dry action. It comes with a remote control (why?) and an lcd on top. The soap dispenser inside creates a foam that shoots down when the lid opens. I’ve never been so impressed by a porcelain throne.
This guy bidets
1k? Like… That’s it !?
Yes exactly! A bidet attachment plus a cheap bowl is like half of that. So it seemed like a no brainer.
As a vulva owner, for me, the big win with the bidet isn’t the butt.
Either way though, the goal is to get clean with water, instead of a dry piece of paper, and then use either toilet paper or a dedicated towel to dry down the now clean area.
Just like with a shower. You don’t clean yourself with the towel. You get clean with water, and then dry with a towel
