NEW YORK—Describing the newborn’s stint in a neonatal intensive care unit as a brief, blissful period during which she was still beyond the reach of marketers, sources confirmed Monday that her 17 days in an incubator would be the longest period of her life in which premature baby Rosalyn Williams was not exposed to…
  • TropicalDingdong@lemmy.worldEnglish
    18·
    7 months ago

    “This incubator mattress pad is brought to you by Casper mattresses. Casper mattresses was one of the earliest direct-to-consumer mattresses for new borns. They disrupted the traditional mattress purchasing process by offering online selling. They sell just one model, which means there’s no decision paralysis while shopping. With a 100-day return policy, a compact package, and no need to go to a showroom, there is plenty of incentive to try them out.”

  • ChillPenguin@lemmy.worldEnglish
    9·
    7 months ago

    At press time, reports confirmed the baby’s 17 days of serenity had been cut short after the walls and roof of her incubator had been sold as ad space.

    Honestly, the onion is just too good. Pure gold.

  • xantoxis@lemmy.worldEnglish
    2·
    7 months ago

    It’s not even true. If there’s a medical product in eyeshot, they’ll be seeing its logos

    • Raiderkev@lemmy.worldEnglish
      1·
      7 months ago

      Babies can’t see for shit when they’re just born. Maybe the pampers logo in their diaper, but even that’s a stretch.