• EdibleFriend@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    I don’t think there is a single person behaves that way online that thinks it doesn’t change the person they are IRL. It’s just online they have the balls to be the person they really want to be.

    • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      I know a couple of people (brothers) who definitely thought that online wasn’t real and they could act without any consequences in their real life. This was back in the 00’s when social media was just catching on. They were absolutely awful to real life friends online and then acted like nothing happened in person. They lost pretty much every friend they had as a result of it. I still don’t talk to either of them. We tried to explain to them multiple times that it was absolutely unacceptable behavior, and they thought it was funny.

      • EdibleFriend@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        I never said that they weren’t. I’m just saying I don’t believe anybody looks at their online behavior and thinks ‘thats not the real me that doesn’t count.’

        • agent_flounder@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          Several comments here provide evidence to the contrary.

          And maybe that’s the problem. The people who are assholes online don’t think about there being real, earnest people behind the other keyboards.

          Anonymity and the abstraction of interacting online can and does weaken the sense of social contract for many people, unfortunately.

          And it does count. Because what one says online can and does affect others in a real way.

        • Gnome Kat
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          9 months ago

          I duno i have definitely seen people argue the internet isn’t real and none of it counts. I think people definitely try to justify it to themself like that. Like if a trans person complains about online harassment, that argument gets used a lot to dismiss it as lesser or not really important.

          • magnusrufus@lemmy.world
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            9 months ago

            EdibleFriend isn’t saying that people don’t make that claim, they are saying that those people are being dishonest when making that claim. That they don’t really believe what they are saying.

        • GladiusB@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          I dunno. I agree and I don’t. I am part of a gaming community where RPing and ERPing is a decent chunk of subscribers. It does not appeal to me, but does that make them a catboi that will lick the back of their paws for a million gil? I kinda doubt that.

          • Gabe Bell@lemmy.worldOP
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            9 months ago

            There is a big difference between me being “Sir Markham of Viewhampton” online, and playing that role as a total dick, and me being me online and me being a total dick.

            If I play Sir Markham as a dick who goes out, woes women, wines them and dines them then dumps them for the next bit of tail that comes along, that is clearly a part I am role playing because I am roleplaying him as that.

            But if I come on here as me – as Gabe and am rude, obnoxious, racist and a total twat then it is far more likely that is what I am like in real life.

            If I roleplay a wizard in an online game do you think that means I can do magic in real life?

            • GladiusB@lemmy.world
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              9 months ago

              Not sure all! However both our scenarios are fairly apparent where fantasy starts and reality ends. But where is that line in other mediums?

              I’m not justifying bigotry or anything else you brought up. I completely agree that they are assholes.

              But is shittymorph just a shitty wrestling guy?

          • VinnyDaCat@lemmy.world
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            9 months ago

            Unexpected XIV.

            Honestly, if you’re online enough you do start to feel like a lot of people aren’t authentic, and it’s true enough, but I also think that validates the OP in a way. People are living our their fantasies, and they wouldn’t be fantasies if they weren’t appealing.

            • GladiusB@lemmy.world
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              9 months ago

              Yes! But I’m not a WOL with a mansion. I dunno. I hear the sentiment about being a dick and bigotry. We both know that XIV is not about that life and I am happy it’s that way. However I was going down the wormhole of possible exceptions.

              • VinnyDaCat@lemmy.world
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                9 months ago

                XIV has a lot of content to delve into besides just being either a roleplayer or a raider. There’s definitely some unpleasant individuals in certain circles, but yeah we do usually call them out.

          • daltotron@lemmy.world
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            9 months ago

            but does that make them a catboi that will lick the back of their paws for a million gil?

            Absolutely it does, you just can’t do that in real life, because catbois, contrary to popular belief, don’t exist, and gillionaire whales willing to fund these ventures also don’t exist.

            I think the difference here is that people are more multifaceted than they care to admit, and there is no real “you”. You can just as easily get lost in the sauce of catboi erotic roleplay as many can get lost in the sauce of ironically being a callous asshole. If I have learned anything, it is that irony doesn’t exist, and there is no core “reality”. I mean, there’s like a core physical reality, probably, but that’s not really what I mean.

      • EdibleFriend@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        Actually I just need to address this a little further because this is a beautiful example of what I’m discussing. All I did was post my opinion and you came along being a condescending ass about it. Do you believe that doesn’t count towards who you really are?

        • Simon@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          9 months ago

          Wow so touchy. Not only was that not condescending, it was lighthearted. Yet you’re just too fucking miserable to not make it personal huh?

          • skeptomatic@lemmy.ca
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            9 months ago

            calls op a child
            Condescending: 1. having or showing an attitude of patronizing superiority.
            Denies being condescending

            • EdibleFriend@lemmy.world
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              9 months ago

              I honestly couldn’t have asked for a better example to prove the point I’m making about people being assholes on the internet versus their real life behavior. There was absolutely no need for him to talk the way he did yet here we are.

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                9 months ago

                To be fair, at first I’m sure he didn’t mean to be condescending. I have certain friends that use the “poor child” type phrases like that as well, but it’s usually used for a comedic spin, because the language is from a few generations ago. His following reply was shit though 😆 talk about touchy.

                • Gloomy@mander.xyz
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                  9 months ago

                  Isn’t “sweet summer child” just a game of thrones reverence calling the other to be a bit naive? Or am i just missing context here?

            • Simon@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              9 months ago

              It’s a platitude my dude. You can guys can self victimize yourselves all you want - I certainly am not gonna spend time arguing with professional victims.

              • skeptomatic@lemmy.ca
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                9 months ago

                Lol. No one is feeling victimized by you. You’re just providing the example for the conversation.

          • EdibleFriend@lemmy.world
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            9 months ago

            And there’s some very hostile toxicity and insults.

            Again…is this not the real you? Do you believe that?

            • jwiggler@sh.itjust.works
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              9 months ago

              Allow me to come in and analyze both of your conversations.

              Firstly, I think you probably misinterpreted the “sweet summer child” thing. I think it is pretty lighthearted, but I do understand how it could come off condescending. You were the first to use an insult, though, for calling the person an ass.

              On the other hand, the person also engaged in insult throwing, by calling you too fucking miserable to take something lightly.

              Finally, do I think either of you would’ve thrown such tantrums in the real world over such a stupid issue? Absolutely not. Do I think both of you are complete assholes for being assholes to each other online, based on misinterpretation of tone? Also no. Would I talk like this in real life, butting into a conversation I’m not a part of, offering my opinion that nobody asked for, and generally being annoying? Also no.

              Does it mean I’m annoying in real life? Probably still yes. But I also think that you are probably not both assholes IRL.

              • brbposting@sh.itjust.works
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                9 months ago

                Would I talk like this in real life, butting into a conversation I’m not a part of, offering my opinion that nobody asked for

                That’s not super fair to yourself - makes me realize we all have special privileges here… we’re all not part of 99% of conversations yet we’re all welcome to become a part of about 100% of conversations anyway.

                BTW I think of our behaviors as drivers as somewhat analogous.

                When was the last time somebody cut you off in traffic?

                When was the last time somebody cut in front of you in a grocery store?

                Spend an hour in traffic, spend an hour in a grocery store… experience entirely different parts of people. A cage (car) and removal from direct interaction (internet) both change our psychology ever so bigly.

                • jwiggler@sh.itjust.works
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                  9 months ago

                  I think you’re right on the money in terms of relating the Internet to the car. It’s so similar. Like, why am I calling the person in front of me an asshole for cutting me off? I’ve done that a million times to others. I’m just as bad as them. But because I can’t see them and they can see me, I feel freer with my emotions and words. I think it’s similar with communication on the Internet.

              • EdibleFriend@lemmy.world
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                9 months ago

                I’ll be honest maybe it was a little lighthearted but… At the same time still condescending and there was no need for it in relation to my perfectly innocent opinion on this post. Especially when it comes down to it he clearly didn’t understand my opinion because ’ everyone is the hero of their own story’ honestly completely fits with my point of ’ people don’t look at their online behavior has not actually being the real them.’

                When people are complete assholes on the internet they feel justified. When people said death threats on Instagram they believe they were doing the right thing.

                And I’ll be honest… Yep. I behave like this in person too. If somebody’s condescending to me I call them on it so… Yep. I would have behaved just like this in person.

                Thank you for actually talking rationally about this though :)

                • jwiggler@sh.itjust.works
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                  9 months ago

                  I agree with you that people believe their death threats are justified, and probably aren’t like “oh that’s not me in real life.”

                  But also, for me personally, I find it way easier to be an asshole online than in real life. I’ve definitely said things online (thrown insults, name-calling, etc) that I would never say in real life, and I would probably say, “that’s not really who I am.” But it is, because I said it. But it also isn’t, because I was younger and dumber and more emotionally unregulated. Yes, it was still me who said it. But when you see someone’s face, you see their expressions, their body language, you see them as a human rather than a username. And I understand for me, personally, that I’m more likely to be a dick behind a screen than to someone’s face absolutely unconsciously, so I’ll give someone else the benefit of the doubt there, as well.

                  In the end I would probably push back against the notion that we are always one person. We all should be capable of kindness and sternness, gentleness and seriousness, somberness and goofiness.

              • Simon@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                9 months ago

                So in regards to your point, I absolutely would use that language in real life and no one I know would be offended by the words ‘sweet summer child’ unless maybe English was their second language. If EdibleFriend responded by getting in my face and calling me an ass and we weren’t in public he would be on the floor very quick. And likely would if he said that to anybody. Analyze that how you will. The internet doesn’t teach social skills.

                • jwiggler@sh.itjust.works
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                  9 months ago

                  I mean, I would also use sweet summer child in real life. I have. But people don’t always know it’s a joke, and I understand that. I certainly wouldn’t deck them if they called me an ass, that seems a bit extreme. Probably would go on the verbal defensive, try to explain it was a joke, and feel bad that they took it the wrong way.

                  But if that’s how you carry yourself through life, I can only say I feel bad for you that someone else’s words would affect you so much as to prompt you to physically assault them. Just seems a bit silly, doesn’t it.

          • daltotron@lemmy.world
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            9 months ago

            I feel more like I’m one of those framing device characters, you know, like I’m the kid or the grandpa in the princess bride. I’m not the main character, or a main character, but I’m kinda like the guy in the twilight zone that sort of introduces things and then summarizes afterwards. DAE feel that?

  • jpreston2005@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    I think this as well. People in on-line video games are so quick to flame, troll, and ruin a game. But Ask them if they think it reflects poorly on them and they’ll either get defensive, victim-blame, or say they were just joking. They complain about having bad community scores in these games, and blame literally everyone else before they can admit any semblance of culpability. Saw it in DOTA 2, saw it in Smite, and every other online forum.

    However, we all lose our cool sometimes. I am usually the chillest dude on the server, but if I’ve had 3 games in a row of being flamed, trolled, having teammates quit, and on that fourth game some teammate “woohoo’s” my death? I’m already so steamed from the previous games that I’ll unleash a nasty comment right back, even if the dude accidentally hit the wrong emoticon thing. And if they are legit trolling, and I’m fed up? yeah, that’s definitely a nasty message right back at’em.

    I guess I’m trying to say, we all lose our cool on-line once in a while, just like we all lose our cool in real life once in a while. Those once-in-a-while situations don’t define us, as long as most-of-the-time we’re chill. But if you’re edging towards losing your cool most-of-the-time, with your chill moments only once-in-a-while? then yeah, man. you’re the a-hole.

  • driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br
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    9 months ago

    Zizek says that our online persona is our real persona, because it doesn’t have the weights and limitations of our physical bodies and can be free to express as itself.

    • nifty@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      I don’t know, this sounds very mind body duality to me but I don’t think it’s reasonable to assume such a duality exists?

      I think being removed from legal or social ramifications enables a lot of misbehavior. If there were social or legal ramifications for online behavior, then maybe people would behave consistently online and offline. In fact, you see that with places like LinkedIn.

      Before social media, “trolling” was a game of inciting reactions without malicious intent. IIRC the norm was to induce anger or reaction or exhaustion without using violent language, like death threats etc. But of course people always behave stupidly for any number of reasons! The death threat people, from my old school pov, are not OG trolls. The death threat people are politically motivated actors or sociopaths.

      So I think it’s less about being real online vs fake, and more about what you’re doing vs everyone else. If you’re looking for a cozy time online, then someone coming in to incite reaction by being contrarian (because that’s interesting to them) would seem aggravating to you, and that’s just unkind of the contrarian person (or troll).

      If you’re shitposting and assume everyone is just a troll trolling trolls (and that’s true), then all interactions are performative and a game. However this cannot apply anymore because the rules of engagement on the web have changed, and there a lot more people online now with different needs and different expectations. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being inclusive. The chans etc. are filled with glowies or nation state actors, so it’s not worth engaging in old school trolling in any form because you just provide convenient camouflage for people with malicious intent or political agendas.

      So in short no, I don’t think body vs non body is the reason for differences in irl or online behavior.

      • Godric@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        I genuinely miss the good-spirited trolling that existed before the political-minded decided to abuse it, ruining it for everyone :'/

      • daltotron@lemmy.world
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        If you’re shitposting and assume everyone is just a troll trolling trolls (and that’s true), then all interactions are performative and a game. However this cannot apply anymore because the rules of engagement on the web have changed, and there a lot more people online now with different needs and different expectations. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being inclusive.

        Maybe I just have an old school mentality about this, but wouldn’t this be kinda, a better stance to take, even if you were looking for a cozy time online? Would it not be the more accommodating position? A troll is easier to dismiss out of hand for being bad faith, rather than assuming someone who’s good faith, but inflammatory, has entered into your space and decided to talk shit and incite reaction. One of those cuts it off before you spend more thought process on it. Thought terminating cliches are useful sometimes, for controlling your own behavior and not engaging with that which you do not wish to seriously engage. Which, I think, is something we need more much of, online. The fallacies are fine, it’s just that they are meant to be helpful to you, personally, rather than being a kind of, moral creed to which we all must conform, a creed that must be enforced, if not by strict rule, than by a kind of unspoken social norm, by chastisement.

        I think probably it’s also weird that people comment like “this person is a troll” or “this person is a bot” as like, a kind of weird flag that’s supposed to be helpful, but then they expect not to get engaged with after they post that, by the poster. I’m not super convinced the people doing that “flagging” are always doing it in good faith, though, anyways.

    • Churbleyimyam@lemm.ee
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      9 months ago

      Makes sense. It does make me wonder how many people I meet IRL secretly want to beat me up though.

  • Ethanol@pawb.social
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    9 months ago

    There is no division between who you pretend to be and who you are.

    This is quite the nice message in view of imposter syndrome too. If you’re being a kind person online then you are simply a kind person.

  • jwiggler@sh.itjust.works
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    9 months ago

    I mean, kinda but not really. Death threats? Yeah, you’re a definite asshole. Same with slurs.

    But, like, we’ve all been assholes in real life. And I’ve certainly been an asshole online, whether it be trolling, saying ez, or “gg…but not you teammate” in rocket league, being an instigator, etc. I’m less likely to troll and be an instigator in real life, and I rarely am. But definitely have been.

    I dunno. I don’t consider myself an asshole, especially for being an instigator in RL. Even though I have been, and probably will be again, both online and in the real world. It’s kinda high-and-mighty to just label people perpetual assholes based on if they’re being an asshole online, or if they were an asshole on one occasion.

    Like it would be pretty stupid if I thought the OP has a persistent holier-than-thou attitude both on-and-offline based on this one post.

    Now that I’m thinking about it, kind of an asshole thing to accuse someone of – being holier-than-thou. Guess I’m an asshole. lol

    • alterforlett @lemmy.world
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      Do you think it matters to the people you’re trolling or calling names whether you do it online, over text or to their face? I’m not saying you’re a perpetual asshole, but it seems like you think that’s an ok thing to do online, which makes you an asshole occasionally. Be better man, you don’t know how the person on the opposite side reacts

      • jwiggler@sh.itjust.works
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        9 months ago

        It totally does matter. I don’t know who’s on the other side of that, or what they’re dealing with.

        It does depend on the nature of the trolling. I’m saying these things mostly with hindsight – I definitely don’t troll any more, and when I did, it was really just like getting in reddit arguments and then commenting nonsense. So, pretty benign stuff. I don’t feel much guilt because honestly, while I was being an asshole, I wasn’t ever really mean. And I was young, and I’ve come to terms with the fact that I made mistakes as a kid.

        Nowadays my online assholery is mostly reserved for people who initiate trash talk in Rocket League. And even then, I’ll just hit em with “ur bad”. I consider that being an asshole, but I don’t consider myself an asshole because of it.

        But I get what you’re saying. I am kinda making it out as if it’s okay to be a dick online. It isn’t. I guess its hard to balance that with the understanding that it is just easier to fall into the trap of assholery behind a screen, or a windshield, or anonymous comment.

  • DogWater@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    My toxic trait is that online I code switch to calling out bullshit instead of sitting quietly listening to nonsense

    • Zink@programming.dev
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      9 months ago

      Yeah, now that you mention it, the Lemmy version of me is just like the real version of me except I talk to strangers.

  • RealFknNito@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    It’s pretty bizarre to see how many people agree with this take though. Every single one of us has said something online we probably wouldn’t say to someone’s face because we all understand that a shitty comment online does not hold the same weight as one offline does. Everything on here is impersonal, offhanded, out of pocket comments with strangers you’ll probably never even check the reply to. The interaction lasts as long as your attention span for it does.

    It’s quite literally nothing alike. Walking up to a stranger, singling them out, then saying some fucked up shit has several immediate consequences you’re never exposed to online. Their facial reaction, their tone, their body language, signs we would read and associate as honest hurt we’ve caused which to any non-psychopath would in turn make us feel hurt for our words our actions. All shit I don’t experience when I tell some dickhead to suck shit through a straw.

    Humans are social creatures (no shit) and the internet is not yet advanced enough to convey every aspect we’ve evolved and developed to communicate properly offline.

    • Agent641@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo

    • jtk@lemmy.sdf.org
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      9 months ago

      I think the example didn’t make the point very well. An asshole online is going to be an asshole in real life. They’re probably not screaming death threats at people in the streets, out of fear of the consequences, but they’re a dick in many other ways, for sure. Think that’s the part people are agreeing with.

      • RealFknNito@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        I still maintain that’s nonsense. I’m confrontational, argumentative, and often just a real piece of shit online. My patience for people spewing complete stupidity with bold confidence ran out during the covid conspiracy theories. Yet, I greet every stranger with sir and ma’am even ones with fucking Trump hats on or “Biden crime family” bumper stickers. People I would light up on here.

        These are different environments and those differences shouldn’t be disregarded for the sake of a “gotcha! You’re a dick here, there, everywhere - Sam I am”

        • sigmaklimgrindset@sopuli.xyz
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          9 months ago

          So…you’re arguing with internet strangers that very likely have 0 influence in your community about extremist views, but letting the people who are actually physically in your presence carry on with those same beliefs and influence those around you.

          Isn’t that a bit…futile?

          Like I’m not saying you have to go out and physically fight people with Trump/Nazi paraphernalia or something, but it’s kind of a weird disconnect.

          • RealFknNito@lemmy.world
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            9 months ago

            Arguments are never for the benefit of the person you’re arguing against as that person likely will not change their mind. I believe there are a few studies that strengthen that claim. So, when I argue with strangers, it’s for the benefit of the lurkers who fall somewhere between both of our ideas and are looking for something to push them in a direction. They’re willing to hear both sides or are simply entertained at the idea of someone they dislike being verbally flagulated. The people who are physically around me are more than likely not at a point in their lives where they’re open to discussion to be convinced out of the positions they hold.

            I can’t imagine anything more futile than trying to reason with someone who hasn’t arrived at their beliefs by using it. However online the best outcome is I convince someone I’m right. At worst, I’m entertainment.

            • sigmaklimgrindset@sopuli.xyz
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              9 months ago

              So, when I argue with strangers, it’s for the benefit of the lurkers who fall somewhere between both of our ideas and are looking for something to push them in a direction

              Can’t this also apply to bystanders irl too? If someone sees you "sir/ma’am"ing someone with a Trump hat rather than ignoring them (or fighting them I guess), doesn’t that also change their perceptions of acceptability of those people?

              I guess I just don’t get it, and if your internet argument statement is true, I never will. 🤷

              • RealFknNito@lemmy.world
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                9 months ago

                Well sure but I really don’t think my local Wendy’s is the appropriate locale. Being polite with people you strongly disagree with isn’t compromising morals or contradictory, it’s knowing the right time and place for certain things. So yes while I could try my hand at professionally debating people where others have come to attend for that express purpose, that’s not really my skill set.

                I also think you know the difference between this conversation and a debate on more serious and concrete positions. But hey, maybe you’re really convinced I should be verbally accosting everyone who shows public support for someone or something I don’t like and doing anything less is hypocrisy. I’m opening to being wrong by being right. Either way this was fun to elaborate on, hope you found it entertaining at least.

        • jtk@lemmy.sdf.org
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          9 months ago

          My patience for people spewing complete stupidity with bold confidence ran out during the covid conspiracy theories.

          Being confrontational and argumentative to assholes isn’t being an asshole, it’s just calling out assholes.

    • atrielienz@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      I kind of disagree with you. For the most part if I’ve said something online I meant it. I may not say it to a person face to face but that usually is because of their threat level, not how shitty or unshitty the comment I’m making is. There’s also other factors like there being a time and place etc. So I’m not gonna call someone an asshole who’s mom just died, even if they are an asshole. But I generally agree that if you’re an asshole online you’re probably an asshole in real life. Online is a somewhat extreme extension of self. Filters exist for social reasons but that doesn’t make filterless comments any less you than filtered ones.

    • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 ℹ️@yiffit.net
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      9 months ago

      Humans are social creatures (no shit) and the internet is not yet advanced enough to convey every aspect we’ve evolved and developed to communicate properly offline.

      The internet supports high res video chat. If you can’t convey the same shit over video chat that you can in a real face to face conversation then I need to ask how you use telepathy because I want to as well.

      • RealFknNito@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        Mm, yes, I really really really want to turn on a full body video camera every time I read and respond to online comments. That sounds super fucking practical with the technology and online social structures that we could implement it tomorrow. You’re a revolutionary who will be praised by historians for centuries to come.

        By advanced I mean a solution that isn’t so flagrantly stupid yet accomplishes the same or similar goals as offline interactions. We can’t even reliably convey sarcasm without overtly stating it - defeating the point of sarcasm.

  • Ogmios@sh.itjust.works
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    9 months ago

    Eh… there are abundant examples of assholes who have learned to pretend to be decent people though.

    • Donkter@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      I think that’s the point, if you’re an asshole online, but tell yourself you’re fine irl. You’re lying to yourself and it shows.

      • Ogmios@sh.itjust.works
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        9 months ago

        Well then that’s a clear example of someone pretending to be something they aren’t, which contradicts the entire premise. Someone can absolutely pretend to be a saint on social media while being full of vitriol inside. Similarly, expressing anger and frustration on social media does not in any way mean that you’re ruled by those things.

        • Donkter@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          It doesn’t contradict the premise at all. In fact, I think the person I described is the exact person the post is talking about, i.e. someone who is convinced that their actions online don’t translate to who they are irl.

          It’s true that one instance of anger doesn’t mean the person is an asshole. The point of the post is that your post history on social media is often a more accurate portrait of your personality irl than some people want to admit.

          • Ogmios@sh.itjust.works
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            9 months ago

            Yes, there is plenty of “ironing” here. I had initially read “you” as being directed at me rather than being directed at a hypothetical person, but once I recognized my mistake I deleted the comment and corrected my reply, because I do attempt to be fair to others.

  • robocall@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    I’ve asked myself in the past, if someone found my account, would they be shocked to read what I posted? I want the answer to be no. I wouldn’t want someone IRL to see my account activity and be shocked by what an asshole/troll I am on the internet. I hope that the person I am on the internet is at least as kind as I perceive myself IRL, if not kinder.

    • chatokun@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      Honestly my username is based off my real name and I use it for a number of other things my family members all know about. At best, they might be surprised and some of my comments discussing events they were involved with, and perhaps my descriptions of how the religion some of them are still in harmed me, because I don’t bother discussing that with those still religious du3 to not wanting to fight.

      Of course, I’m mentioning specifically my comments to reddit and both lemmy accounts. Why do I have two? I started on World then World defederated a few communities I was interested in keeping up with, not because I really participated, but because I like having a balanced input and some were interesting for work (mostly piracy and privacy, as I work in IT). I don’t use reddit anymore except maybe old solutions for work stuff, but I still have much more comments there than on lemmy so far.

      • chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        9 months ago

        (This is my other account).

        (OK I have a NSFW one too, but I never comment or post on that one. Not sexy enough.)

        • Fishbone@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          I might be calling myself out a little, but VRchat and its avatars do an astronomical amount of heavy lifting in that department.

    • Wogi@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      There is no ghost inside you, simultaneously piloting the same meat suit you are, who suddenly takes control sometimes.

      It’s you. You said those things. You may have been drunk, you may have been anonymous, but you still said them. If you’re willing to go on a racist tirade online, you’re willing to go on a racist tirade. If you’re going to make death threats anonymously, you’re going to make death threats.

      Statements remain true without qualifying where, or how. Because you still did a thing, regardless.

        • Ech@lemm.ee
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          9 months ago

          No. The person choosing to “act” like a dick on the Internet is making the choice to be a dick. They don’t just happen to be a dick in their roleplay or whatever - they’re making that choice.

          And it’s not some pretend space where their words and actions don’t count. Being a dick in a multiplayer video game is being a dick to a real person. Being a dick on a forum about a game or show you don’t like is being a dick to real people who play and make those things. You don’t get to copout and say “it’s just a character” when it’s affecting real people. That is your impact on the world. Take some damn responsibility for it.

          Also, Audrey II is from Little Shop of Horrors. Check it out if you haven’t. It’s a good flick.

        • agent_flounder@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          An actor literally says the lines they say, but they are playing a character,

          Yeah and everyone knows it’s a play. With actors and an audience. Kinda different.

          Despite what Shakespeare said, online isn’t a play. Neither is RL. You can still put on a facade or a persona. But in either case it you treat people like shit, you’re an asshole.

        • zaph@sh.itjust.works
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          9 months ago

          If you’re in a role play forum and you role play as an asshole, you are correct. If you are on the internet, for example Twitter, and you act like an asshole, it’s because you’re an asshole. Hope that clears up the difference between context.

        • Wogi@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          You had to know while you were typing that how full of shit that response is, right? On some level, cognitively, you know you’re grasping at straws here.

        • MoonManKipper@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          Be an actor, sure, but an actor isn’t ‘being someone else’ - they’re acting - they’re **pretending ** to be someone else. It is different.

      • AlDente@sh.itjust.works
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        9 months ago

        Do you say the same about those who role-play in video games? Even if I set out with the intent of being someone else in a RPG, I find myself eventually reflecting my own behavior. It’s hard for me to relate to those who can do a ‘complete asshole’ playthrough. Are these people closet psychopaths?

    • MoonManKipper@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      “Yourself” is the totality of everything you do. You don’t get to do stuff and then decide “No, that wasn’t me, it doesn’t count”. If you do that you’re just deluding yourself

      • Ogmios@sh.itjust.works
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        9 months ago

        Too often though, such arguments are used by others in the attempt to define a person by one specific example in ignorance of everything else that person is.

        • Wogi@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          You will always be defined by others as your relationship to them, and the actions they know you take. You will always be more complex than you’re observed to be.

          You have little say in how others define you.

        • MoonManKipper@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          I’m talking about personal interactions - online or in person - if that one specific example is the only interaction a person has with you then that’s the only information they have about you. If you don’t want to be classified as an asshole, don’t be an asshole.