[Requesting engagement from trans-feminine people on HRT]
I don’t yet know when I will begin hormone replacement therapy, but the anticipation leaves me prone to developing expectations I worry are unrealistic.
Not sure how best to explain. My emotions, and sometimes my expression of those emotions, will feel masculine when heightened. Feeling intensely happy or angry about something even unrelated to my identity, those feelings give me dysphoria because of how masculine they seem. It’s not that being happy or angry is inherently masculine, of course. The dysphoria comes from the emotion’s manifestation seeming masculine.
I don’t know if this makes sense, but has anyone experienced something similar and/or seen changes to these sorts of things?
For sure; I’ve felt so many strong emotions since starting.
I’ll use TV shows as an example. When I watched Parks and Rec before I started, I was aware of the emotional connection I felt between the characters, and of my connection parasocially to them, but it never really bubble up enough to be visible except in the really emotional episodes. Now, I get to really feel the emotions when I watch things like avatar or x-men. I’m not sure that’s a good way to describe it, but it… well it feels more real now.
It also feels more real when I get to experience hurt, but if you can stay away from transphobes with power over an aspect of your life you should be fine.