There have been similar posts in the past and you all might be tired of commenting on them, but I’m really curious what it’s like for others. So here I am posting my own question thread.

Given that our core identities are defined by lots of different quirks, gender, romance, sexuality, platonic affinity being some of them. I am curious to know what aspects all of you measure yourself by and how you place yourselves within the bigger picture. Especially hoping for some wholesome takes that may help someone else feel more comfortable with themselves, should they adopt the way of thinking.

I’ll share my own take: Gender identity

  • Masculine-feminine spectrum: Definitely more comfortable with feminine side.
  • Fluidity: experiencing some, not sure if that is because of uncertainty or inherent.
  • Intensity flux: also experiencing some, some days are just a little extra “I want to be a girl”-days.
  • Overall: unsure about where that leaves me, status quo (I’m just me) is fine for now.

Attraction to others

  • Sexuality: Definitely bisexual, trans-inclusive (who would have guessed).
  • Romantic…ality?: Vastly different from sexuality, mostly romantically interested in women (cis or trans), i’d say biromantic with a 90% bias. Any men I’ve had romantic interest in shared some feminine traits, so ‘femromantic’? Is that a thing?

Social traits

  • Platonic affinity: Find myself feeling most comfortable around women. As long as I can remember I’ve always been one of the girls and some interactions with men actually confirm that I’m absolutely nothing like the average dude.
  • General sensitivity: Without a doubt HSP, even though others usually can’t tell (which gets me in trouble).
  • Social tolerance: Intuitively introverted, though have become more outgoing lately, so not strictly introverted.

Obviously these are just some examples of things we can measure ourselves by, curious to see which ones you will add or remove and why. And it goes without saying: Only share what you’re comfortable sharing.

TL;DR: I’m a huge nerd and have reduced myself to an n-dimensional vector, and I’m asking you to do the same and maybe add some dimensions you know of.

  • @dandelionEnglish
    2•2 months ago

    Gender identity

    • Masculine-feminine spectrum: Somewhere in the upper quartile of femininity, if I had to guess.
    • Fluidity: Seems to depend on my hormones, I feel more imposter syndrome with more androgens in my system. Doesn’t make me feel like a man, but I feel less certain about being a woman.
    • Intensity flux: Also depends on hormones. Most of the time I am unaware of my gender experiences, they are largely in the back-ground and I have to carefully observe and infer the gender. This leaves me less than confident. Sometimes high levels of estrogen can suffuse me with a sense of being a woman that can be quite euphoric. Androgens can make me feel disconnected from being a woman.
    • Overall: I feel non-binary, but for all practical purposes I fit into the binary woman gender identity well (being NB for me is more about what I can tolerate on my body compared to some other trans women, but I don’t have much desire to be like a man and lots of desire to not be like a man).

    Attraction to others

    • Sexuality: If you assume I’m a woman and my attraction to women makes me gay, I was a 5 on the Kinsey scale before HRT and now I’m a 4, so somewhere in the bisexual umbrella. The Kinsey scale usually does not respect trans identity, so researchers would call me a 1 and that I moved to a 2 on the scale. Take your pick, whatever.
    • Romantic…ality?: Almost no romantic interest in men, almost all romantic interests are directed towards women. HRT seems to have caused me to feel more visceral sexual attraction to some men (which is a bit disorienting and not entirely welcome, tbh), but not any interest in a romance or relationship.

    Social traits

    • Platonic affinity: Prefer to be friends with women, has been true my entire life but became quite stark when puberty hit and most boys I knew diverged even more from what would make them acceptable as friends. (At the time it struck me that boys were immature, brutish, violent, and mean; girls my age seemed much more mature, had similar interests as me, were much nicer, and were worth talking to and being friends with. My perception was that greater social, emotional, and intellectual development in girls than boys made them more worthwhile friends; now I realize maybe I was trans or something, since not everyone experiences this preference to be “one of the girls”.)
    • General sensitivity: Maybe some overlap with HSP, but I’m not sure. I definitely can feel overwhelmed by social situations, even small ones.
    • Social tolerance: This seems to shift for me since HRT, I think my introversion might be connected to mental issues like anxiety and so on, so with HRT I have sometimes had greater resilience towards stress and higher tolerance for being in public and being in social situations. I’m still a recluse by preference, though. I prefer deeper 1-1 conversations with people I trust or like to being in group settings or interacting with strangers.