There have been similar posts in the past and you all might be tired of commenting on them, but I’m really curious what it’s like for others. So here I am posting my own question thread.

Given that our core identities are defined by lots of different quirks, gender, romance, sexuality, platonic affinity being some of them. I am curious to know what aspects all of you measure yourself by and how you place yourselves within the bigger picture. Especially hoping for some wholesome takes that may help someone else feel more comfortable with themselves, should they adopt the way of thinking.

I’ll share my own take: Gender identity

  • Masculine-feminine spectrum: Definitely more comfortable with feminine side.
  • Fluidity: experiencing some, not sure if that is because of uncertainty or inherent.
  • Intensity flux: also experiencing some, some days are just a little extra “I want to be a girl”-days.
  • Overall: unsure about where that leaves me, status quo (I’m just me) is fine for now.

Attraction to others

  • Sexuality: Definitely bisexual, trans-inclusive (who would have guessed).
  • Romantic…ality?: Vastly different from sexuality, mostly romantically interested in women (cis or trans), i’d say biromantic with a 90% bias. Any men I’ve had romantic interest in shared some feminine traits, so ‘femromantic’? Is that a thing?

Social traits

  • Platonic affinity: Find myself feeling most comfortable around women. As long as I can remember I’ve always been one of the girls and some interactions with men actually confirm that I’m absolutely nothing like the average dude.
  • General sensitivity: Without a doubt HSP, even though others usually can’t tell (which gets me in trouble).
  • Social tolerance: Intuitively introverted, though have become more outgoing lately, so not strictly introverted.

Obviously these are just some examples of things we can measure ourselves by, curious to see which ones you will add or remove and why. And it goes without saying: Only share what you’re comfortable sharing.

TL;DR: I’m a huge nerd and have reduced myself to an n-dimensional vector, and I’m asking you to do the same and maybe add some dimensions you know of.

  • CaitEnglish
    5•3 months ago

    Hi, I’m

    In the feminin spectrum, I currently find passing a huge strain ( using public bathrooms/ avoiding ppl I don’t know bc I’m afraid), so I’m happy to present AS enby

    I’m Attracted to feminity in general, but basically anyone with boobs can do, depending on the Person

    With both ADHD and autism, communication with most ppl is very challengen and exhausting for me, so I just like to hang around ppl who can actually get behind what I’m saying, regardless of their gender

    • Semivir [he/him, she/her]OPEnglish
      4•3 months ago

      Hi Cait, thank you for taking the time to share!

      If we took fear out of the equation somehow, do you feel it’s useful to have a distinction between your personal identity and what you’re comfortable with presenting to the outside world? I know anxiety about how my surroundings would react is definitely keeping me from experimenting with my appearance more than I do. But until I do, there’s probably no way to know for sure if there would still be some sort of disconnect between internal indentity and presenting identity.

      I’m Attracted to feminity in general, but basically anyone with boobs can do, depending on the Person

      Hey we’re similar on that front! From your wording I take it that you also prefer boobs over butts? There’s just something about them… [slips into daydream]

      With both ADHD and autism, communication with most ppl is very challengen and exhausting for me, so I just like to hang around ppl who can actually get behind what I’m saying, regardless of their gender

      From my experience in interacting with autistic people (kind of a given with a tech background), I’ve always found that most people simply don’t understand what autism is like and as a result most interactions are missing the communicative parts crucial to someone with autism. As the HSP idiot I usually end up being the one to translate and explain to them what’s causing all the friction (which is self-interest, since friction affects me).

      I’ve witnessed multiple times that people can’t stand the autistic person until I explain to them what’s really going on, and it usually changes their demeanor towards them drastically.

      I feel like you might gravitate towards people who can instinctively notice your needs and will at the very least not strike out against them.

      • CaitEnglish
        2•3 months ago

        Well if we took fear out the equation, I’d totally walk around like this all the time

        But it really feels different, for me dressing just how I feel comfortable but not how I am, I still don’t feel like my true self.

        Boobs 🥴

        • Semivir [he/him, she/her]OPEnglish
          2•3 months ago

          Oh yeah, those comics are something else alright!

          But it really feels different, for me dressing just how I feel comfortable but not how I am, I still don’t feel like my true self.

          Guess that answers my question just fine. No distinction, just need the safety to be yourself.

          Boobs 🥴

          🙏