There have been similar posts in the past and you all might be tired of commenting on them, but I’m really curious what it’s like for others. So here I am posting my own question thread.

Given that our core identities are defined by lots of different quirks, gender, romance, sexuality, platonic affinity being some of them. I am curious to know what aspects all of you measure yourself by and how you place yourselves within the bigger picture. Especially hoping for some wholesome takes that may help someone else feel more comfortable with themselves, should they adopt the way of thinking.

I’ll share my own take: Gender identity

  • Masculine-feminine spectrum: Definitely more comfortable with feminine side.
  • Fluidity: experiencing some, not sure if that is because of uncertainty or inherent.
  • Intensity flux: also experiencing some, some days are just a little extra “I want to be a girl”-days.
  • Overall: unsure about where that leaves me, status quo (I’m just me) is fine for now.

Attraction to others

  • Sexuality: Definitely bisexual, trans-inclusive (who would have guessed).
  • Romantic…ality?: Vastly different from sexuality, mostly romantically interested in women (cis or trans), i’d say biromantic with a 90% bias. Any men I’ve had romantic interest in shared some feminine traits, so ‘femromantic’? Is that a thing?

Social traits

  • Platonic affinity: Find myself feeling most comfortable around women. As long as I can remember I’ve always been one of the girls and some interactions with men actually confirm that I’m absolutely nothing like the average dude.
  • General sensitivity: Without a doubt HSP, even though others usually can’t tell (which gets me in trouble).
  • Social tolerance: Intuitively introverted, though have become more outgoing lately, so not strictly introverted.

Obviously these are just some examples of things we can measure ourselves by, curious to see which ones you will add or remove and why. And it goes without saying: Only share what you’re comfortable sharing.

TL;DR: I’m a huge nerd and have reduced myself to an n-dimensional vector, and I’m asking you to do the same and maybe add some dimensions you know of.

  • AdaAEnglish
    5·
    8 months ago

    Gender Identity:

    I’m binary, but I feel that this is largely because I am a child of the era I was raised in and because of the binary experience of my physical dysphoria.

    I don’t have a relationship with masculinity or femininity, and find them both of confusing. I resented both of them as a child and young adult, and just assumed that everyone felt trapped by them.

    I feel that were I raised in an environment with a less constrained perspective on gender, my experience of my own gender would be less binary. Maybe that will still happen, but I don’t feel like it will? My identity has been pretty consistent and solid. Even before I accepted myself, I was in denial of my gender, but I don’t feel like it has changed in any meaningful way.

    Attraction to others

    I’m panromantic and heterosexual, but I am happiest in relationships with other women or enbies. I don’t like being seen as straight or cishet, and when I’m dating men, my queerness feels all but invisible. I overcame years of self repression to learn to love my queerness, and I don’t like the feeling of losing it after that journey.

    Social traits

    I’m an extroverted and proud queer! My social circles are almost entirely neurodivergent and/or queer folk

    • Semivir [he/him, she/her]OPEnglish
      2·
      8 months ago

      I’m binary, but I feel that this is largely because I am a child of the era I was raised in and because of the binary experience of my physical dysphoria.

      That’s an interesting take, and I’m sure it’s not something we can put a pin in without watching an entire new generation of people grow up with a different concept of gender identity out there. Curious to see what time will teach us.

      I don’t have a relationship with masculinity or femininity, and find them both of confusing. I resented both of them as a child and young adult, and just assumed that everyone felt trapped by them.

      Sometimes it just be like that. I’d tell you “it is what it is”, but a certain meme told me I’m running out of those. Definitely interesting to see how social constructs are experienced in such a different way by different people. Guess the binary representation never made sense in the first place, since there’s also a cultural aspect to what is represented in the concept either male or female, making it impossible to define universally. But we’re still a long ways away from a world where none of that matters anymore.

      Interesting to read your perspective on romance vs. sexuality. Confirms to me that the way we love or make love is definitely as diverse as our collective gender identities are. And hey, you get to pick the lucky individual(s) eligible to date you. So if feeling queer is part of what makes you happy, any potential partner has a responsibility to make you feel as queer as possible.

      I’m an extroverted and proud queer! My social circles are almost entirely neurodivergent and/or queer folk

      I’m sure there’s a venn diagram in there somewhere!