I assume you have read my previous posts, I don’t wanna retell everything.
We went to my psychologist. First he went alone with her to talk, and after half an hour he got out and I came in.
I told my psychologist everything about why I needed to break up with him. She understood and helped me through it.
Then she let him in to talk, and I gave a long speech about the reasons why I had no choice but to end the relationship.
I thanked him for all the good moments, all the love he gave me, for being so sweet, and that I didn’t regret any of it. I told him that I still loved him and wanted nothing but all the best to him, and I don’t want him to die because of me. It was way longer than that but I’m just not in the mood for writing a lot.
He was visibly broken, almost crying, in silent the entire time. When I finally finished, the psychologist asked him to talk and he just said “no words” She told me that I was done for today and I left.
We are not 100% done yet, I need to take my things out of his house, and his family still wants to be in contact with me and I’m more than glad.
Is just… I wanted this, I had the chance to try to talk and fix everything, yet I ended it because I knew I needed to, he has hurt me for a long while after all, I don’t wanna be trapped with him, yet I feel so bad right now. I hope I did the right choice. I hope I don’t regret it. I’m sad and heartbroken. I Know he is even more heartbroken. But it needed to end. Yet I’m still sad about it. So sad. How long will I still be this sad?
I remember your old posts. You made the right call.
It’s hard to tell how long you will be sad. For me, I was sad in the beginning because I missed the good times in the relationship and the things that I wished the relationship could have been. It faded the more I remembered the bad times and how much they weren’t worth any good times, and how my own vision of what I wanted the relationship to be would never come to fruition.
You might logically know it, but you won’t truly know it after some time. Don’t beat yourself up over that.
Right now, focus on yourself and your healing. It might take a week. It might take a month or even a few. But either way you can get through this, and when you do, you will be tougher and wiser. You got this!