I’ve 🐝 bee-n fighting for two years now. I have this « job » that I’ve been stuck with forever now. My inability to enjoy the little things of life is just another indication of my dereliction: hating the bitter man I’m becoming, seeing myself in people I despise, being unable to think, speak, create.

There’s no future for me here. No way out from my work. No time to dedicate to what I love. I read the introduction of Camus’ « L’homme Révolté » about absurdism in other to be something else than a consuming shitty human, and I don’t agree with most of the moral dilemmas: killing yourself is not the same as killing another person. I’m making a choice for myself and maybe, one of the limits of this argument is that I’m imposing my absence on others…

But who might miss me? My family & friends? It’s true, there are the ones that made me stay this long, but nothing is changing, and I need to help myself.

ಥ_ಥ, maybe see you tomorrow ?

  • @Kit
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    124 months ago

    Posting for convenience:

    A list of suicide hotline numbers

    Argentina: +5402234930430

    Australia: 131114

    Austria: 017133374

    Belgium: 106

    Bosnia & Herzegovina: 080 05 03 05

    Botswana: 3911270

    Brazil: 212339191

    Bulgaria: 0035 9249 17 223

    Canada: 5147234000 (Montreal); 18662773553 (outside Montreal)

    Croatia: 014833888

    Denmark: +4570201201

    Egypt: 7621602

    Finland: 010 195 202

    France: 0145394000

    Germany: 08001810771

    Holland: 09000767

    Hong Kong: +852 2382 0000

    Hungary: 116123

    Iceland: 1717

    India: 8888817666

    Ireland: +4408457909090

    Italy: 800860022

    Japan: +810352869090

    Mexico: 5255102550

    New Zealand: 045861048

    Netherlands: 09000113

    Norway: +4781533300

    Philippines: 028969191

    Poland: 5270000

    Russia: 0078202577577

    Spain: 914590050

    South Africa: 0514445691

    Sweden: 46317112400

    Switzerland: 143

    United Kingdom: Various recources

    USA: 18002738255

    You are not alone. Please reach out.