I’m really worried about the state of the US despite being a white male who was I’ll coast right through it. I’ll also accept “I don’t” and “very poorly” as answers

  • EldritchFeminity
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    11 months ago

    There’s a lot of “statistically, things are better now than they’ve ever been so don’t worry about it” posts in here, but that’s cold comfort for the individual person. While accurate, you might as well be making a Tragedy Olympics comment. Things are better than they have ever been, but in the past 10-20 years, things have gotten worse for a lot of people in their daily lives. There are plenty of ways to cope such as alcohol, drugs, video games, and other addictions, but those only push the feeling away temporarily and do nothing to change your situation.

    My suggestion is to look at the things that worry you, from least to greatest and from the ones you have the least ability to affect to the ones you can effectively change. And then look at the ones you can personally affect the easiest that would have the largest and most immediate impact on your life, and make a plan on how to work on those. Feeling like you are making some progress towards improving your life makes a huge difference. Maybe it’s taking some time one day a week to prep a bunch of meals ahead of time so you don’t have to worry about it after work during the week. Maybe it’s making sure to walk every day to get some exercise. Maybe it’s talking about the issues in your community right now with friends and neighbors, and working together on a way to help solve those. Whatever it is, even a small step is still a step forward towards the life you want.

    As a bisexual trans woman who was in middle school when 9/11 happened, I spent my childhood and teenage years watching helplessly as the country around me became more and more openly hostile to anyone who didn’t fit the mold of a cis white heterosexual Christian male. And the bigotry has only gotten worse from there. The first 6 months of this year alone, more than 1 anti-trans bill was proposed every single day. 4 out of 10 trans women in the US will be a victim of sexual assault. The average lifespan for a trans person is 30 years due to murder and suicide rates. However, I live in one of the most LGBTQ+ friendly states in the country and have elected officials at practically every level of government who have made it clear that they will fight tooth and nail to keep it that way, so I make sure to support those sorts of politicians at elections and avoid going to states that are currently a threat to my life while I focus on more immediate issues, like the high cost of living and poor wages/job prospects in my town. I spend some time every week just casually looking at jobs in places I would like to live and working on hobbies and skills I enjoy, as I’ve found that even if it’s not related to a field, just showing that you are willing and able to learn a new skill can land you a job. A company will sometimes hire you more on if they like you as a person than on your actual qualifications. Almost landed myself a job on a government contract that way before a medical issue prevented me from working for several years; simply because the boss and others enjoyed talking to me when I would come to pick up their stuff and I did some due diligence to make sure they were taken care of even if the delivery company dropped the ball (and if I picked up extra hours from them? The delivery company got paid and so did I, so it was a win-win).

    And when all else fails, there’s always spite. Sheer spite has been a great motivator for me in life, because are you really gonna give up before you have a chance to grab that asshole from elementary school who bullied you and rub his nose in the dirt with how great the life you’ve created for yourself is? Becoming a happy person is the best way to give a giant middle finger to everybody who’s ever called you a loser.